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Lawyer Jokes Set 13

Discussion in 'Lawyer Jokes, Stories' started by jon_, Aug 20, 2006.

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  1. jon_

    jon_ Law Topic Starter New Member

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    What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    A good start!

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    Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?

    Because deep down, they are really good guys.

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    Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

    Professional courtesy.

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    What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

    A shortage of sand.

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    How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

    Cut the rope.

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    Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

    Answer #1: Take your foot off his head.

    Answer #2: No? Good!

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    What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

    When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

    What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

    There was an empty seat.

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    Where can you find a good lawyer?

    In the cemetary.

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

    A boxing referee doesn't get paid extra for a longer fight.

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

    When you die, a leech will stop sucking your blood and drop off.

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and an angry rhinoceros?

    The lawyer charges more.

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

    You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a computer nerd?

    Sooner or later everyone needs a lawyer.

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    What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

    One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a catfish.
     

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