I need help!!!

[KathySmith]

I think I have a serious problem and feel that maybe it's too late to do anything about it. My boyfriend and I are on the lease for a house we've lived in for almost 4 years. About 7 months ago I found out he was doing drugs and asked him to stop and get the stuff out of our house. He told me to get out and I refused. I had no where else to go. He told me if I didn't leave, "He'd have me curled up on the floor sucking my thumb for what he was going to do to my family". I had never seen this side of him ('m assuming it was the drugs) he is rather "macho" but I figured it was his country upbringing on the farm and didn't recognize it as abusive behavior. I took a few belongs and went to my mothers. I was very frightened at the time. I have since tried repeatedly to retreive my personal property to no avail. He even went to my parents house to get some of the things I had managed to get out and threatened to have drug users come to their house and destroy their home if the things weren't returned. I have signed statements from my parents regarding this. The "things" was a partial collection that he and I had collected over the years and the pieces I took were the ones I had purchased with my own money. He has told me if I go to the sheriff or the courts he will run me over with his truck or hire someone to physically harm me. I have been to the house several times to talk but he would never let me take anything. I am still on the lease and I have contacted the landlords concerning this issue. They say I have every right to remain in the home as I am on the lease. I was unemployed at the time, he didn't want me to work and we rented the home as a married couple but this has left me homeless. He held over my head that he would seek help and we would "get back together" when he got better and the time was right. I have come to realize that this is never going to happen. He told me to forget that I ever owned anything and has been giving or throwing my things away. So......how can I prove what is or was mine in the house and get it out of there? What about the things he has given away or destroyed? Do I have a right to reenter the home, is there any way to make him leave? Do I have any kind of a suit against him for the treatment, threats, abuse and stress I have endured as a result of this.

Thanks,

Kathy

 

[NYClex]

This is a potentially very dangerous situation.

Your "boyfriend" actually has already committed several crimes, making "terroristic threats" as it is called in New York, in other states it might be called differently, is one of them. You could file a police report on that and also file for an order of protection. If you go to court for an order of protection you could actually end up being the only one allowed to be in the house, the court could effectively order him out, if your state provides that (not all but many states do).

You would have also a case of conversion against him for each piece of your property that he destroyed, took, gave away etc. But of course you would have to prove that.

And of course you have a right to be in the house.

Now, this is the theoretical situation. Practically I think this is pretty dangerous in light of his threats, so I would not advise you to move back in there as long as he is allowed to be there.

You might want to consult with someone who is professionally counseling victims of domestic violence about what steps are advisable in your situation to get this guy out of your life. Often police departments or district attorney offices either do such counseling or can provide you with addresses of organizations that do so.

And if ever this guy threatens you or your family again you should immediately call the police. Do not engage in any arguments with him, call the police. Too often these situations end in bloodshed.

 

[KathySmith]

I need help

I live in the State of California. Are there ways to prove what belongs to a person besides holding a receipt? If I take a list of what belongs to me to court will the court order that those things be returned to me? What is the likelyhood that they will remove him from the home and allow me back in to take residency? Should I retain an attorney? Since I am on the lease can I legally make a key while he is at work and go in and take my things( he changed the locks)?

Thanks so much,

Kathy