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How feasible to gain custody if.....

Discussion in 'Alternative Dispute Resolution' started by minerva, Mar 26, 2007.

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  1. minerva

    minerva Law Topic Starter New Member

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    My fiance has five year old daughter with an ex. They were never married and he has not seen the child in almost 2 years now. Even when she was allowing him to see her sometimes, she was very "on and off" about it. Since about 2 years ago, she has not allowed him to see her...if he tried to call she says if he calls back she will call the law and say he is harassing her. He has sent letters and e mails pleaing with her to let him see the child. We were not in a position before to be able to go through the steps with the court to get his rightful visitation. Now we are prepared to pay the fees and can have the time off needed to deal with the court dates. There was an open case from previously when, since they were not married, paternity had to be established. We are continuing with the steps from that case, and he is about to take the parenting class that is required and then he can file for visitation. We live in Alabama, she lives in Florida. How feasible is it to try to get custody instead of visitation? Should we just get visitation first and then later go for custody, or can we file for custody and even if we don't get that, would they give us atleast the visitation at that point? We have reason to believe that the mother might be doing drugs and I know thta she has always been very hateful to the child...telling her that her father doesn't love her and cruel things of that nature that just blew my mind! Would it matter what the child, being 5, had to say? Any help would be appreciated.....
     
  2. muggsyj

    muggsyj New Member

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    This is not legal Advice!


    Hey,

    You are in a very volitile situation here, if it was me i would just let your partner try for visitation rights. DO NOT try and drive a stake between a mother and her child because it will open all kinds of worms. Remember, however much you feel involved in this situation you always have to bare in mind this is not your child we are talking about.

    My advice to you would be to support your partner on his choice on how to proceed in this matter and just stand by his side. When it comes down to the issues you are best to keep well in the distance and dont try to influence any out comes.

    What is ment to be will be.


    Take care


    Mark.
     
  3. vietjohn

    vietjohn New Member

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    THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE! ONLY MY OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES AND OPINIONS BASED UPON MY ONGOING CASE.

    I would try to get visitation at first and in the event that the child willingly gives you information about something that is deemed neglect or endangerment to the child, you can always file for a temporary custody order, provided you have evidence and a credible witness such as a police officer, doctor, teacher, daycare worker, social worker or therapist that can submit a written or oral statement to the judge that the child told them of the incidents.

    Most parents separate the child from the other parent out of vengeance and hatred for the other parent, and at the child's expense. They usually are guilty of something that could cause them to lose custody of the child and this is the main reason that they will threaten you with arrest, file false protective orders against you and even continuously relocate the child so you cannot gain access to the child or gather enough evidence to use against them in court to gain custody of your child.

    Consider hiring an attorney to help you with the proper process and legal documentation, once you get visitation rights, you may end up having to continuously fight for that right without ever seeing your child. At that point in time, you may wish to hire a private investigator to provide discovery of evidence to use in court in regards to the living conditions, actions, neglect, endangerment and any other issues that possibly puts your child in harms way.

    Stick to the plan that your attorney provides you and do not give the other parent any information that you are not required to give in a court order or judgment that they are served with. They always try to have the upper-hand and will attempt to abuse the court system to their benefit and anything you provide, they will use against you and twist it to fit their needs.

    Be prepared to be granted visitation, but also be prepared to never get that visitation because the other parent denies your parenting time and disobeys all of the court orders. If you live in Oregon, you will never get visitation or custody, even if the court awards it to you, they never enforce any orders or judgments against the other parenting living out of state.

    As long as the mother can lie through her teeth to the courts, they will always take her word over yours, even if you have all of the evidence to prove otherwise. You need strong documentation and solid evidence as well as credible witnesses on your side. I know from my own personal experience, it is easier for a total stranger to kidnap your child and hide and hold the child as his own than for you to get the right and chance to see you own child again. The laws are always in favor of the criminals.
     

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