OP, you're rationalizing the circumstances to skew them to appear to be random, therefore avoiding the elephant in the room; THE TAKING OF THE PROPERTY OFANOTHER WITH THE INTENT TO PERMANENTLY DEPRIVE...blah, blah, blah...the merchant doesn't give away televisions, they sell them. Yet, you now possess one, with the intent to permanently deprive the owner of same, and yet no money has exchanged hands for the television, which you intend to permanently posses.
Your wife is a wise, and honest woman. Listen to her. Your actions can also land you in hot water with the military, because you can be charged under the UCMJ, too!!!!
Then, you could also eventually face a laundry list of GA state charges, too. These charges don't necessarily have to be theft related, because this could be seen as a conspiracy. The employee carrying the item to your car with you, could just be an unsuspecting dupe. The co-conspirators could be elsewhere, and they may have been paid.
As with most amateurs, you blab. You don't just slither away, and enjoy your purloined goods, you come here to tout what you believe to be your success. Sorry, what you did was wrong, and if it doesn't get you, KARMA will! You're not a very good thief, and your actions and admissions have established you don't deserve to wear the uniform I proudly wore for over 25 years! The same uniform my son-in-law died wearing in Afghanistan, and my best friend died in the jungles of 'naw wearing in oh, so many decades ago!
I've charged, defended, and sat in judgment as military members were hit with Article 134: "Though not specifically mentioned in this chapter, all disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces, all conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces, and crimes and offenses not capital, of which persons subject to this chapter may be guilty, shall be taken cognizance of by a general, special, or summary court-martial, according to the nature and degree of the offense, and shall be punished at the discretion of that court."
(1) Article 134 makes punishable acts in three categories of offenses not specifically covered in any other article of the code. These are referred to as "clauses 1, 2, and 3" of Article 134. Clause 1 offenses involve disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces. Clause 2 offenses involve conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces. Clause 3 offenses involve noncapital crimes or offenses which violate Federal law including law made applicable through the Federal Assimilative Crimes Act, see subsection (4) below. If any conduct of this nature is specifically made punishable by another article of the code, it must be charged as a violation of that article.
(2) Disorders and neglects to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces (clause 1).
(a) To the prejudice of good order and discipline. "To the prejudice of good order and discipline" refers only to acts directly prejudicial to good order and discipline and not to acts which are preju dicial only in a remote or indirect sense. Almost any irregular or improper act on the part of a member of the military service could be regarded as prejudicial in some indirect or remote sense; however, this article does not include these distant effects. It is con-fined to cases in which the prejudice is reasonably direct and palpable. An act in violation of a local civil law or of a foreign law may be punished if it constitutes a disorder or neglect to the prejudice of good order and discipline in the armed forces. However, see R.C.M. 203concerning subject-matter jurisdiction.
(b) Breach of custom of the service. A breach of a custom of the service may result in a violation of clause 1 of Article 134. In its legal sense, "custom" means more than a method of procedure or a mode of conduct or behavior which is merely of frequent or usual occurrence. Custom arises out of long established practices which by common usage have attained the force of law in the military or other community affected by them. No custom may be contrary to existing law or regulation. A custom which has not been adopted by existing statute or regulation ceases to exist when its observance has been generally abandoned. Many customs of the service are now set forth in regulations of the vari ous armed forces. Violations of these customs should be charged under Article 92 as violations of the regulations in which they appear if the regulation is punitive. See paragraph 16c.
(3) Conduct of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces (clause 2). "Discredit" means to injure the reputation of. This clause of Article 134 makes punishable conduct which has a tendency to bring the service into disrepute or which tends to lower it in public esteem. Acts in violation of a local civil law or a foreign law may be punished if they are of a nature to bring discredit upon the armed forces. However, see R.C.M. 203 concerning subject-matter jurisdiction.
