exhusband's girlfriend coming to school meetings

[carney]

I was just wondering if anyone knows what kind of rights I have as a parent in keeping my ex-husband's girlfriend from being able to come to private parent teacher or IEP meetings at school?

 

[Duranie]

Not much, unless you schedule a completely seperate meeting without them there.

Have you asked your ex husband why he brings her? If he still continues too there is probably not much you can do but go to a seperate meeting.

 

[carney]

He brings her because she does all the talking and asking of questions. I have a restraining order against him and already requested a separate meeting but the school says they can only have one because of the time. They do consult with me by phone but I resently found out that the girlfriend was demanding that my son be put with one teacher and not another. The teacher felt it was because I was close with the one they didn't want. What they didn't know was that I knew both. The school put him with the one they wanted and I'm wondering if it was because of what the girlfriend said. I haven't been going to the meetings because of the restraining order but I would go if she wasn't there. They both try to gang up on me if she's there. I was just hoping there was something legal that would allow the school to not discuss my child with her.
(I'm the one with custody of the child)

 

[Duranie]

Have you talked to your ex husband about this? Why do you have a restraining order against him? That does cause problems, maybe you should have it withdrawm so you can attend meetings. Plus that probably affects his visitation with the children. RO's should never be filed unless absolutely necessary, they often cause more problems then they are worth. If thats the case, you can go to the meetings, show up first, and if he shows up he is in violation of the agreement. Since you cannot talk to him, then decisions might not be made in your favor.

Does the school know you have custody? Technically you should be making the decisions then.

 

[carney]

I have the restraining order against him because he tried to kill me and he's repeatedly threatened me. The judge made it permanent but said he could go to school functions as long as he stays away from me. That's a little hard to do when you're having a one on one meeting with teachers. He kept glaring at me to intimidate me (which it did) so I don't go anymore. The teacher tried to get different meetings scheduled but the school attorney said that we would have to attend the same one since the judge ordered he could go to school. I've told them that I don't want the girlfriend there because she buts in and thinks she has the right to say whatever she wants even if it's not her child but the school doesn't keep her out of the meeting. I just didn't know if there was some right to privacy law that prevents people other than parents from attending a meeting that discusses the private information of a child.
The restraining order doesn't affect his visitation. He did have supervised visits for 18 months because he was violent to the children but that's over now and he visits when he wants to.

 

[Duranie]

You need to attend the school functions. If you do not attend, then you really cannot complain about decisions not being made in your favor.

Explain to the teacher that you have custody, the girlfriend is not party to this whatsoever. The teacher should understand and respect your wishes since you are the custodial parent.

You might want to bring along the decree to show you have custody.

Don't let them intimidate you. If the girlfriend speaks, remind her that this meeting with the childs parents and that you would appreciate it if this meeting was with the father and you only. If she wants to sit in and listen then she can, but she needs to close her mouth.

As long as the father is there giving her permission to sit in, the school probably won't do much. You do have a voice though and you have more rights then her, don't let her call the shots.

If he glares at you, pay no attention. Limit eye contact except for if he wants to ask you a question.

 

[gearhart7]

I can't believe your child's school won't work with you. They can't make separate meetings. Sounds like bull to me. Call the school board. Complain to them. Or call the superintendant of schools.

Like Duranie said, don't let him intimidate you. The teacher and school should respect your wishes about seperate meetings.

Good Luck.