First, I will not exaggerate anything in this post, and I am fairly positive that there is nothing anyone can do about this problem. But it is making me uncomfortable and afraid in my own home, and I just can't take anymore. I need help.
And I know that there are far worse neighbor stories, believe me I have read them. Somehow it's more horrible when it's happening to you.
My neighbor really is delusional. Everyone around her on this dead-end street has been made into an enemy, and we have all been accused of the most ridiculous things. She seems to have an issue about her boundaries - and seems to be very angry and worried that they will be violated.
I of course, made the very first immense screwup a few months after she moved in, when things were still friendly, and I went over and mowed her lawn for her. Big mistake. She met me in the driveway absolutely livid and accused me of breaking a pump on her son's pool. I was stunned at this reaction, and immediately apologized in every way possible - I knew I had not broken the pump, but I am always willing to do anything to restore peace, so I went and ordered another one immediately, apologized some more, and promised I would never do such a thing again. She also gave me a dissertation on where the property line was, and outlined some things I was not allowed to do on what had previously been considered common property in the neighborhood. I knew that her idea of where the line lay was off, but I figured this was not the time to get into it.
I paid for, received, and delivered the pump as promised. Three weeks later, the box was back, sitting in my driveway, still sealed, still in the plastic bag Fed Ex had delivered it in. No note, no apology that she was wrong that I had broken the pump. Just dumped there.
Since then, she has simply lost it with everyone here. The neighbors on the other side have been reported to the police for peeping in her windows, taking her patio umbrella and slamming it up against her house (after a windstorm) breaking up the flagstones on her patio, their children have been reported to the police for trespassing while retreiving a lost ball - the mother has been chased down the street with their children in the car while being tailgated and sworn at .
The neighbors across the street sit in their driveway every weekend in lawnchairs. Always have. One day in the fall, she felt they were out there to watch her, so she swore and mumbled all afternoon, then took a lawn chair out to the end of her driveway and stared at them for a good half hour. Then her father tried to start a fight with the neighbor across the street (a man in his 70's) by accusing them of being lazy good for nothings, and calling him a wife beater. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Over the winter, she called the post office and insisted the postal carrier walk around her front lawn because the carrier had stepped on a plant. In January.
The other neighbors gave up and put up a six foot fence from the street to the back of their property.
During a snow storm last year, when she had to shovel and ungodly amount of snow herself because nobody would help her, I arrived home from work, to have her yell to my back - "Where's my cat?" When I looked at her surprised, and asked her what she meant, she began to rant that she hadn't seen her cat since Christmas time, and that my dogs had attacked it while I stood there and watched. In total shock, I said "I don't know what you're talking about, XXX" Then she let loose with a screaming stream of obscenities insisting I never set foot on her property again. (As though I would have after the lawn incident!)
We got through about a year with only the occasional screaming out the window to keep my dogs quiet - one or two of those were justified, most were not. While I am not the best neighbor in the world because I have animals, I do recognize my responsibilities and am very meticulous about making sure they are not a problem to ANYONE. There has not been one barking complaint reported to dog control about my home in 3 years.
During a thaw and huge rainstorm in early Feb., her property became a lake. Someone had told her she had to clear the leaves from the ditch and the storm drain on the other side of her property - she took offense at being told what to do, and let it completely clog up. The water found another route out - into my basement. A sump pump burned out - and water was actually squirting through the foundation in several places. I lost an air conditioner, but not much else. Clearly there have been water problems in my basement before, but they had been repaired satisfactorily. Not anymore. 24 hours later, she had someone come in and clear the ditch. My basement immediately dried up. I did not file an insurance claim, I wasn't sure I should....
Well, last week, I strayed over the property line to mow around a tree. I have been mowing this way for 3 years. I was always under the impression that if you had to stray over a foot or two, that was supposed to be allowed and not called tresspassing. Especially when the line runs up against trees. She came out of the house screaming, saying I"d been told before to stay off her property, I was cutting down her plants, and she didn't want any more of her son's things broken. This time, other neighbors were out in their garden listening to this in disbelief. She then informed me that she knew I was over there lurking around her yard at night stealing her plants - and she pointed over at the side of my house saying "the evidence is right there". Then I was told that she has all this on video - me tresspassing and stealing her things. I was calm, I never yell back, I mostly stood there dumbfounded.
But it became apparent to me that we have a real difference about where this line really is. I Got out my survey, and saw the angles from the street did not come off at 90 degrees. It goes a bit over towards her side, and I think that's where the problem is. I am trying to get the town to come and re-mark the property lines, although that may set her off too.
I tried to put it out of my mind, and was able to get my lawn mowed again this week without incident, by staying a good foot and a half inside the property line. She came out onto her patio and watched me like a hawk.
Tonight, I went out into my driveway, (which adjoins hers) and started to trim my bushes. Her window flew up, and she said "OOOOOHHHH you're trimming our bush! Thank you SOOOOO much." This dripping with sarcasm and anger. I simply turned and said "what?" and she says "The bush you STOLE from us." WIndow slams. Then she is upstairs in her bedroom on the phone with somebody, telling them I am trimming the stolen bush and they are getting video of it all, making sure I heard all this. Could have been the police, don't know.
Obviously, I am letting this all get to me. I raise top show dogs, they are my babies, and I am terrified that the poisoned meat is going to come over my fence at any moment. I don't fight back, but I am terrified of the next encounter, and it has kept me from keeping my property up outside because I just can't stand it.
The most OBVIOUS solution to this would be to move. And I wish so much I could do just that. But I am recently divorced, and struggling. My mortgage is such that I have no equity whatsoever in this house yet. And there is no money for a fence like my neighbors put up.
Yes I keep a journal of the incidents. Yes, I have reported all the incidents to the police although have not filed any charges. They find her quite amusing and take nothing she says seriuosly. Ever. Yes, I keep a tape recorder at the ready.
What, if anything, can be done about someone who is clearly mentally ill in some way, but has not really committed any crime, except possibly slander?
Is it really OK for somebody to make me feel unsafe in my own home, afraid to go outside when she is home?
Any advice will be much appreciated. And I'm sorry this is so bloody long.
And I know that there are far worse neighbor stories, believe me I have read them. Somehow it's more horrible when it's happening to you.
My neighbor really is delusional. Everyone around her on this dead-end street has been made into an enemy, and we have all been accused of the most ridiculous things. She seems to have an issue about her boundaries - and seems to be very angry and worried that they will be violated.
I of course, made the very first immense screwup a few months after she moved in, when things were still friendly, and I went over and mowed her lawn for her. Big mistake. She met me in the driveway absolutely livid and accused me of breaking a pump on her son's pool. I was stunned at this reaction, and immediately apologized in every way possible - I knew I had not broken the pump, but I am always willing to do anything to restore peace, so I went and ordered another one immediately, apologized some more, and promised I would never do such a thing again. She also gave me a dissertation on where the property line was, and outlined some things I was not allowed to do on what had previously been considered common property in the neighborhood. I knew that her idea of where the line lay was off, but I figured this was not the time to get into it.
I paid for, received, and delivered the pump as promised. Three weeks later, the box was back, sitting in my driveway, still sealed, still in the plastic bag Fed Ex had delivered it in. No note, no apology that she was wrong that I had broken the pump. Just dumped there.
Since then, she has simply lost it with everyone here. The neighbors on the other side have been reported to the police for peeping in her windows, taking her patio umbrella and slamming it up against her house (after a windstorm) breaking up the flagstones on her patio, their children have been reported to the police for trespassing while retreiving a lost ball - the mother has been chased down the street with their children in the car while being tailgated and sworn at .
The neighbors across the street sit in their driveway every weekend in lawnchairs. Always have. One day in the fall, she felt they were out there to watch her, so she swore and mumbled all afternoon, then took a lawn chair out to the end of her driveway and stared at them for a good half hour. Then her father tried to start a fight with the neighbor across the street (a man in his 70's) by accusing them of being lazy good for nothings, and calling him a wife beater. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Over the winter, she called the post office and insisted the postal carrier walk around her front lawn because the carrier had stepped on a plant. In January.
The other neighbors gave up and put up a six foot fence from the street to the back of their property.
During a snow storm last year, when she had to shovel and ungodly amount of snow herself because nobody would help her, I arrived home from work, to have her yell to my back - "Where's my cat?" When I looked at her surprised, and asked her what she meant, she began to rant that she hadn't seen her cat since Christmas time, and that my dogs had attacked it while I stood there and watched. In total shock, I said "I don't know what you're talking about, XXX" Then she let loose with a screaming stream of obscenities insisting I never set foot on her property again. (As though I would have after the lawn incident!)
We got through about a year with only the occasional screaming out the window to keep my dogs quiet - one or two of those were justified, most were not. While I am not the best neighbor in the world because I have animals, I do recognize my responsibilities and am very meticulous about making sure they are not a problem to ANYONE. There has not been one barking complaint reported to dog control about my home in 3 years.
During a thaw and huge rainstorm in early Feb., her property became a lake. Someone had told her she had to clear the leaves from the ditch and the storm drain on the other side of her property - she took offense at being told what to do, and let it completely clog up. The water found another route out - into my basement. A sump pump burned out - and water was actually squirting through the foundation in several places. I lost an air conditioner, but not much else. Clearly there have been water problems in my basement before, but they had been repaired satisfactorily. Not anymore. 24 hours later, she had someone come in and clear the ditch. My basement immediately dried up. I did not file an insurance claim, I wasn't sure I should....
Well, last week, I strayed over the property line to mow around a tree. I have been mowing this way for 3 years. I was always under the impression that if you had to stray over a foot or two, that was supposed to be allowed and not called tresspassing. Especially when the line runs up against trees. She came out of the house screaming, saying I"d been told before to stay off her property, I was cutting down her plants, and she didn't want any more of her son's things broken. This time, other neighbors were out in their garden listening to this in disbelief. She then informed me that she knew I was over there lurking around her yard at night stealing her plants - and she pointed over at the side of my house saying "the evidence is right there". Then I was told that she has all this on video - me tresspassing and stealing her things. I was calm, I never yell back, I mostly stood there dumbfounded.
But it became apparent to me that we have a real difference about where this line really is. I Got out my survey, and saw the angles from the street did not come off at 90 degrees. It goes a bit over towards her side, and I think that's where the problem is. I am trying to get the town to come and re-mark the property lines, although that may set her off too.
I tried to put it out of my mind, and was able to get my lawn mowed again this week without incident, by staying a good foot and a half inside the property line. She came out onto her patio and watched me like a hawk.
Tonight, I went out into my driveway, (which adjoins hers) and started to trim my bushes. Her window flew up, and she said "OOOOOHHHH you're trimming our bush! Thank you SOOOOO much." This dripping with sarcasm and anger. I simply turned and said "what?" and she says "The bush you STOLE from us." WIndow slams. Then she is upstairs in her bedroom on the phone with somebody, telling them I am trimming the stolen bush and they are getting video of it all, making sure I heard all this. Could have been the police, don't know.
Obviously, I am letting this all get to me. I raise top show dogs, they are my babies, and I am terrified that the poisoned meat is going to come over my fence at any moment. I don't fight back, but I am terrified of the next encounter, and it has kept me from keeping my property up outside because I just can't stand it.
The most OBVIOUS solution to this would be to move. And I wish so much I could do just that. But I am recently divorced, and struggling. My mortgage is such that I have no equity whatsoever in this house yet. And there is no money for a fence like my neighbors put up.
Yes I keep a journal of the incidents. Yes, I have reported all the incidents to the police although have not filed any charges. They find her quite amusing and take nothing she says seriuosly. Ever. Yes, I keep a tape recorder at the ready.
What, if anything, can be done about someone who is clearly mentally ill in some way, but has not really committed any crime, except possibly slander?
Is it really OK for somebody to make me feel unsafe in my own home, afraid to go outside when she is home?
Any advice will be much appreciated. And I'm sorry this is so bloody long.
