WhatToDoNext
New Member
In February my Grandmother passed away, leaving a small estate and Two surviving adult children, My mother and Uncle. Prior to her death she had made arrangements for her funeral, and all of the major expenses were paid in advance. Her passing was sudden and unexpected, but what has transpired since that time has caused continued pain to my family and I am hoping for a bit of insight and advice. My Grandmother passed at 4:30am and by 9:00am I had placed a phone call to my Uncle to offer condolences and let him know of our plans to come up for the service. At that time he told me that he had already reserved a room at a local hotel for my family, as well as my mother and my sisters family. He stated that he wanted to make sure that none of us would have to worry about finding a place, and that he would take care of the bill. He also told me that he had planned a luncheon to follow the Service for the entire family-he stated that he knew my mother had recently retired and was not in the financial position he was-so he had taken care of all of this as well. My family and I drove up to my mothers in Northern Michigan in order to pick her up to bring her to Southern Michigan for the service. We arrived late the same day she had passed and decided that we would be driving to the hotel the following day. The morning after her passing is when the major issues started. My uncle called my mother as we were packing for the drive. He was obviously intoxicated and verbally abusive to myself and my mother. He stated that he was angry that my mother had not come down the day before as this had forced him to meet with the minister alone. He also complained about having to plan the luncheon to my mother, to which she replied that she did not want to have a luncheon, that she would not mind a small family gathering somewhere private, but she did not like public affairs like that and that because it was his idea, she didn't feel as though she should have a hand in it. We left immediately after that phone conversation, and on the way down my mother decided that she would pay for half the hotel expense for our families-which she did when we arrived. The next two days were more of the same, my Uncle drank continuiously the entire time-and my mother intentionally avioded him. The day of the funeral, my uncle showed up late to the service, he was barely able to walk or speak-though he did get up and say a few slured words which were embarassing and inappropriate and had nothing to do with my Grandmother or her memory. After the service, my mother refused to ride in the procession with him, as he was so obviously drunk, and he refused to ride with anyone. He became angry because he chose to drive behind the hurse alone. Half way to the cemetary he whipped out into traffic and turned into a gas station. He later said he was too embarassed to ride alone. At the Luncheon he cornered my mother as she was seated with family and friends, and he advised her that he was placing the will into Probate because he did not like her attitude. He then began insulting her in front of friends and family primarily using vulgar language which had no intent other than to hurt her. At that time I decided it was time to leave, I gathered my family & my mother and we left. On the way we stopped at the funeral home to finalize payment to them-my mother put this on her personal credit card. We also had to go to another office at the cemetary and my mother paid for what she called "the gravedigger". Mind you, all of this happened on the day she had to bury her mother. We left to return to her home in Northern Michigan. My sister and I had planned to stay for a week after the funeral so that we could help empty my Grandmothers rented condo. I had discussed this with my Uncle several times, and was repeatedly told to "take what I wanted", as he did not want "any of that *h*t" Prior to the service, my sister and I went to all of the immediate family and asked if there was anything in particular that they wanted-none her personal belongings were specified in her will, and we had 14 days to remove everything from her condo to avoid further rent charges. We offered for anyone and everyone to come up to either help with the work, or to pick up anything they might want. Everyone refused. I spoke to my uncle the day after the service and advised him yet again that we were taking everything out of Grandmas house and placing the bulk in storage, I told him that if there was anything he wanted, I could bring it down to him on my way home. He refused. My mother then went to speak to an attorney, she had an original copy of my Grandmothers last will where she and my uncle are named Co Executors of the estate. My mother retained the lawer and my uncle was advised of this, and we were also told that the estate would not be put into probate under the circumstances. Yesterday my mother was served with a summons to Small Claims Court. It seems as though my Uncle is suing her for the remaining half of the hotel room expenses, 100% of the cost of the luncheon, and he wants roughly $200 as reimbursment for Travel Expenses for driving to Northern Michigan to file the small claims suit, and court costs. My mother is going to go back to speak to her lawyer on this, but I am wondering if by any chance he does have a legitemate claim here. My thought is that First, the luncheon was 100% his idea from start to finish, in addition he stated to not only me but also my husband, sister, and mother that he was paying for this luncheon. In addition, he offered to pay for the rooms 100% initially, the only reason my mother paid for half was because he had become so vulgar toward her, she didn't want to feel as though she owed him anything. In addition, my mother herself put out several expenses for the funeral, and she never billed my uncle-she paid for the flowers for the entire family as well, including the graveblanket. She has not even mentioned a countersuit- knowing her I would guess that she feels that would make her no better than him & she would rather the entire thing just go away. Do you think it would be necessary for my family to plan to be there for the small claims suit as some sort of witness to testify on the conversations we had directly with him, or will that not be necessary? My mother is retired, on a small fixed income- and if there is any chance that my being there could sway this to her favor, then I need to make plans to be there. My mother is still dealing with the loss of her mother, and this mess has made this time so much worse than it already would have been. Again any insight or advice would be gratefully appreciated.
