Considerable amount of money borrowed and not returned

[brokenandundone]

Jurisdiction

Nevada

not sure this is the correct thread. I am going to try to make this short and sweet. I have an individual that owes me well over the maximum suitable for small claims court. First, I was told I would get the money after their settlement was received. Then I was told I wasn't owed anything. Now they want to "start fresh" like they never borrowed in the first place. They also lost their settlement as it was ruled a slip and fall, and did not receive any money and claim they are unemployed so they have nothing to give.

If I have 80-85% of all the text communications concerning the money where they showed excuses and verbally abusive content to manipulate me to just drop the subject, involving their small child with being unable to get them food let alone pay me back, and threatening suicide, is that along with the three different ways I have attempted to contact them for payment or to compromise on a payment plan or some sort of effort to make payments, do I have enough for a case? I also have copies of the certified letter I sent to his house, asking to make arranges and effort to pay me back, text messages asking the same, and an email with the same all went unresponsive. I cannot afford a lawyer, I have been in hardship because of this since I put all their car payments, IRS bills and money loans on my credit cards or did cash advances to help them out. I helped with the understanding they would pay me back and even have messages stating they would pay me back 10x what they borrowed which I was never asking for. I lost three of 5 credit card accounts and 3 store accounts that were not delinquent due to this. I cannot afford to get my own apartment now or even move anywhere because now my credit score and credit is so awful I cannot get a lease. This is effecting me in a negative way now and I know for a fact I am not the only person they borrowed 10s of thousands of dollars from. I cannot involve the others I know about because we do not speak.

 

[adjusterjack]

Correct me if I'm wrong: You were romantically involved with the guy, he got you to pay his way for a long time, now the relationship is over, you want the money back and the deadbeat is giving you a line of BS about the money.

Oh, well. You're not the first person whose gotten into that kind of mess.

Anyway, the Nevada small claims limit is $10,000 so you are either out of luck for anything above that or, since you can't afford a lawyer, you learn how to sue in big claims court.

As to whether all your text messaging will do any good, the Nevada Supreme Court addressed the issue of text messages as evidence in Rodriguez v State (2012):

Google Scholar

Read it so you will know what you have to do to present your text messages as evidence when the time comes.

 

[brokenandundone]

Correct me if I'm wrong: You were romantically involved with the guy, he got you to pay his way for a long time, now the relationship is over, you want the money back and the deadbeat is giving you a line of BS about the money.

nope, not romantically involved. that part is actually complicated. I did love him but we never had anything romantic or physical. Apparently he made me believe the feelings were mutual but I helped him out before he made that known. He has also been married since 2005 but introduced me to his wife as "his roommate that he was kinda seeing". Then he always referred to her as his "ex". Like I said, complicated.

 

[mightymoose]

Was there no documented agreement to repay the money BEFORE you handed it over?
If not, you may as well have gifted it.

If you have anything that acknowledges the debt and intent to repay then it could be useful. Has there ever been even a partial payment made?
You could pursue the full amount of the debt in the civil court rather than a portion in small claims.

 

[army judge]

nope, not romantically involved. that part is actually complicated. I did love him but we never had anything romantic or physical. Apparently he made me believe the feelings were mutual but I helped him out before he made that known. He has also been married since 2005 but introduced me to his wife as "his roommate that he was kinda seeing". Then he always referred to her as his "ex". Like I said, complicated.

That might best be left out.

You met Herb.
Herb borrowed $5,000 from you on 10/30/16. and $4,000 11/15/16.
Herb signed a promissory note for both loans on 01/31/17.
Herb has never repaid one dollar of his debt.

Keep it business, avoid anything that even hints toward love or like.

The next time anyone wants to borrow $2.00, th answer is, "Sorry, I don't have $1.00 to loan anyone."

The answer to any question is usually NO.

You can sue, but if Herb is flat broke, recognize that even if you get a judgment you might never collect $5.00 of the debt.

Again, when the discussion of loans comes up, refer the person to a bank or a loan company.

Deadbeats are akin to child molesters, they "groom" their marks and then they strike.

 

[leslie82]

not sure this is the correct thread. I am going to try to make this short and sweet. I have an individual that owes me well over the maximum suitable for small claims court. First, I was told I would get the money after their settlement was received. Then I was told I wasn't owed anything. Now they want to "start fresh" like they never borrowed in the first place. They also lost their settlement as it was ruled a slip and fall, and did not receive any money and claim they are unemployed so they have nothing to give.

If I have 80-85% of all the text communications concerning the money where they showed excuses and verbally abusive content to manipulate me to just drop the subject, involving their small child with being unable to get them food let alone pay me back, and threatening suicide, is that along with the three different ways I have attempted to contact them for payment or to compromise on a payment plan or some sort of effort to make payments, do I have enough for a case? I also have copies of the certified letter I sent to his house, asking to make arranges and effort to pay me back, text messages asking the same, and an email with the same all went unresponsive. I cannot afford a lawyer, I have been in hardship because of this since I put all their car payments, IRS bills and money loans on my credit cards or did cash advances to help them out. I helped with the understanding they would pay me back and even have messages stating they would pay me back 10x what they borrowed which I was never asking for. I lost three of 5 credit card accounts and 3 store accounts that were not delinquent due to this. I cannot afford to get my own apartment now or even move anywhere because now my credit score and credit is so awful I cannot get a lease. This is effecting me in a negative way now and I know for a fact I am not the only person they borrowed 10s of thousands of dollars from. I cannot involve the others I know about because we do not speak.

You're not getting that money back even if you go to small claims court and win. Some small claims court won't let you bring a lawyer anyway. Lesson learned - don't loan money. I learned that lesson too. I used to have well over $30,000 in savings. My ex husband mooched half, the other half my family borrowed and some are paying it back. I have a stepsibling who owes me money for about seven years now and she ignores me for the last year, after she gave ME a lecture about things acting like I was asking for a loan when I asked her to pay some of it back when I needed it. The statute of limitations is out on taking her to court but I text her every month and ask about it. Nothing. Messages on FB aren't read. I know I'll never see the money back from my ex either.

You are going to have to chalk it up and move on and try to rebuild your credit and savings. Then never, ever loan money to anyone again. You can take him to court but even if you win doesn't mean he will pay. You also realize it will cost you money to file everything in court too right? When I looked into it where I live it was going to cost almost $100 to file the paperwork.

 

[army judge]

Each one, reach one, then teach one.
Knowledge, information, truth, pass them on.

 

[brokenandundone]

If you have anything that acknowledges the debt and intent to repay then it could be useful. Has there ever been even a partial payment made?

a very minuscule amount has been repaid. Back when I first started helping out. I am starting to believe that was just so I would continue to help.

 

[brokenandundone]

You can sue, but if Herb is flat broke, recognize that even if you get a judgment you might never collect $5.00 of the debt.

Again, when the discussion of loans comes up, refer the person to a bank or a loan company.

Deadbeats are akin to child molesters, they "groom" their marks and then they strike.

Deadbeat is putting it nicely. And that is what I am afraid is going to happen... I win because he won't show up for anything but I get nothing but more wasted time because he will make it so I don't see a dime. From what I was told though, NV is a joint state, could that make his wife responsible if I did win?

 

[brokenandundone]

You're not getting that money back even if you go to small claims court and win. Some small claims court won't let you bring a lawyer anyway. Lesson learned - don't loan money. I learned that lesson too. I used to have well over $30,000 in savings. My ex husband mooched half, the other half my family borrowed and some are paying it back. I have a stepsibling who owes me money for about seven years now and she ignores me for the last year, after she gave ME a lecture about things acting like I was asking for a loan when I asked her to pay some of it back when I needed it. The statute of limitations is out on taking her to court but I text her every month and ask about it. Nothing. Messages on FB aren't read. I know I'll never see the money back from my ex either.

You are going to have to chalk it up and move on and try to rebuild your credit and savings. Then never, ever loan money to anyone again. You can take him to court but even if you win doesn't mean he will pay. You also realize it will cost you money to file everything in court too right? When I looked into it where I live it was going to cost almost $100 to file the paperwork.

I am working on rebuilding my credit now, and actually have a savings account again ever since I stopped helping which was just about 8 months or more ago. Lesson learned and I haven't helped anyone since, not even for a dollar. It is a shame that people can be so cruel and ruin others they used to actually care about, as long as they get what they want. Damn narcissist!

Thanks for all the insight. Bad things still happen to good people. And the bad people still get away with it. Makes me regret not having him sign something from the get go. I trusted his word. Karma is coming for him. I just hope I am around to watch with my popcorn.

 

[leslie82]

I am working on rebuilding my credit now, and actually have a savings account again ever since I stopped helping which was just about 8 months or more ago. Lesson learned and I haven't helped anyone since, not even for a dollar. It is a shame that people can be so cruel and ruin others they used to actually care about, as long as they get what they want. Damn narcissist!

Thanks for all the insight. Bad things still happen to good people. And the bad people still get away with it. Makes me regret not having him sign something from the get go. I trusted his word. Karma is coming for him. I just hope I am around to watch with my popcorn.

I wish I had made my stepsibling sign something but she had just left her abusive then husband with three kids. I had the means to help so I did and thought she would pay me back or pay it back when I needed the help. I was wrong. That's fine. She'll get hers.

 

[brokenandundone]

I wish I had made my stepsibling sign something but she had just left her abusive then husband with three kids. I had the means to help so I did and thought she would pay me back or pay it back when I needed the help. I was wrong. That's fine. She'll get hers.

It sucks being a decent human being, when a verbal agreement used to be binding. Cannot trust anyone's word anymore and its a shame. I didn't really have the money, hence why it all came from my credit cards or some from savings. I took out a card in order to help him and he said he would give me money toward the bill each month to pay it off. Obviously that never happened. I just need to find my inner bitch and stop caring about other people so much and not trusting their word.

 

[txls]

I never loan money. If I want to help someone I give them what I can afford to give. If it happens to come back someday, then I am pleasantly surprised. Before you spend any time or money on small claims or a lawyer, do you have any idea if this person has any means to repay. If not you're completely wasting time and money.

 

[brokenandundone]

I never loan money. If I want to help someone I give them what I can afford to give. If it happens to come back someday, then I am pleasantly surprised. Before you spend any time or money on small claims or a lawyer, do you have any idea if this person has any means to repay. If not you're completely wasting time and money.

According to him he is collecting unemployment. I am not sure how true that is. However, I also know that Nevada is a joint state so his wife could be responsible for the money if he cannot pay. At least that is my understanding; I could be wrong. I wanted to help, but I also helped with the understanding he would pay me back when he could or when he got his settlement. I stopped helping when I found out he was borrowing even more from others, so either he has a gambling problem or is buying drugs or who knows what that he always seems to need financial help. I won't waste any money on small claims or a lawyer unless I am 100% certain I will get it back or at least something back. That is why I posted my question in here to get more insight.

 

[army judge]

According to him he is collecting unemployment. I am not sure how true that is. However, I also know that Nevada is a joint state so his wife could be responsible for the money if he cannot pay. At least that is my understanding; I could be wrong. I wanted to help, but I also helped with the understanding he would pay me back when he could or when he got his settlement. I stopped helping when I found out he was borrowing even more from others, so either he has a gambling problem or is buying drugs or who knows what that he always seems to need financial help. I won't waste any money on small claims or a lawyer unless I am 100% certain I will get it back or at least something back. That is why I posted my question in here to get more insight.

The community property states are Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin. (In Alaska, spouses can sign an agreement making their assets community property, but few people choose to do this.)


In community property states, most debts incurred by either spouse during the marriage are owed by the "community" (the couple), even if only one spouse signed the paperwork for a debt. The key here is during the marriage. So if you incur a debt, such as a student loan, while you're single, and then get married, it won't automatically become a joint debt. (An exception is where a spouse signs on to an account as a joint account holder after getting married.) Some states, like Texas, have a more nuanced way of analyzing who owes what debts by evaluating who incurred the debt, for what purpose, and when.


Realistically if one spouse is a deadbeat, the other spouse is, too.

If one spouse has no assets, share and share alike, the other spouse has NO assets, too.

 

[army judge]

a very minuscule amount has been repaid. Back when I first started helping out. I am starting to believe that was just so I would continue to help.

You describe how deadbeats, as do their child molesting kin, groom their marks.

 

[brokenandundone]

The community property states are Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin. (In Alaska, spouses can sign an agreement making their assets community property, but few people choose to do this.)


In community property states, most debts incurred by either spouse during the marriage are owed by the "community" (the couple), even if only one spouse signed the paperwork for a debt. The key here is during the marriage.


Realistically if one spouse is a deadbeat, the other spouse is, too.

If one spouse has no assets, share and share alike, the other spouse has NO assets, too.

this one has been married since 2005, no divorce, no remarriage but I found the marriage documents as they are public record.

 

[cynthiag]

I don't find it realistic to think that you'd be able to get any repayment from his wife, even if you could prevail in court and go after her for the debt (which I think we all pretty much agree, absent any signed documentation that states that it was a loan to be repaid, it's more likely to be treated legally as a "gift"). If he's so broke that he can't repay you, what makes you think she would have the money?

 

[leslie82]

You need to come to the realization you're not getting that money back. It's just not happening.