I trust my trustee, it's not a relative. It's my CPA (or maybe I should say his firm) who does trustee work. But I only see him once a year. So unless he's contacted by the relatives I've given his name to, he wouldn't know.
Is there a place where I can register the name of my estate attorney and trustee so that I can be sure they are notified when I kick the bucket? I don't trust my greedy unwashed relatives to notify them since they would benefit greatly if it were to appear that I passed intestate. Besides...