Assault & Battery Wrongly accused, very worried

[firehawk2009]

I believe its important to give a little bit of background on myself so I can at least try to get a reasonable response and hope you can help.

I am a professional person, multiple careers, won awards and have my own business setup. I am a university graduate, have a strong religious and background upbringing, always treat people with respect and decency but also I am a very positive person, a free spirit if you will.

I dont do drugs, drink, smoke or sleep around - thats not me at all.

I am in an unfortunate situation which involves the love of my life. she unfortunately took something very small and blew it way out of propertion.

the relationship ended in such a tragic and dramatic manner and I am still coming to terms with it but it is very difficult.

she accused me of something so horrid that it is not true. (sexual assault).
this did not happen at all.

In her statement, she stated that I groped her breasts, rubbed her on the sides, then kissed her on the back even though she was saying to met "get off" but all on top of the clothes with no injuries.

this was absolutely not true.

it was a time of uncertainty as she was playing around, telling me one thing, doing something else etc... etc.... and wanted to find out what was going on as on that same week she had told me she loves me, misses me, wants to meet up etc... etc....

we hadnt seen or spoke much to each other in this month.

Now, there were people there however they did NOT witness anything as we were in the kitchen to which she agreed.

at this time, there was 1 person who made a statement (her friend) but admittedly said that she saw nothing.


2.5 weeks later now, another friend who was present but did not see or say anything at all, made a statement and so did her husband.
SUCH LIES! And it hurts so much listening to it and reading it, let alone reading my ex partners statement.

I am very worried, scared and cannot eat, sleep or breathe properly. food does not taste the same without her.

we were planning to get married as well - gave her an eternity ring a few weeks before this "incident". i had done so much for her (supported her through her health problems she had, eldest child acting up, her ex husband putting her down over the phone, lending her money to stop an eviction that was going to take place which i havent had anything back yet!)


Then this. it makes no sense at all.

Now, I am taking this to the crown court for a trial however, I am at such a loss that I dont know how to plan my defence. its basically her word against mine, but also now 2 other people made a statement, they did not see anything but said things like "called emergency services, heard a banging noise" etc... etc... but the ex did not state anything about banging noises - because there was none anyway!

there seems to be alot of inconsistances in the statements given, and I am just sick and frustrated about all of this.

She also said the relationship ended over a month before this and I had been "harrasing" her by ringing her/texting her. this was not true at all! I even have the emails saved that she knows I am not a bad person at all, and that she loves me and wants me and also that when things had blown up that she would have ended it but didnt because she loves me and knows that i did nothing wrong.

all of this, 2/3 weeks before this allegation/incident, yet in her statement said it ended over a month before. not true!


Now, she has a past of people cheating on her and being in an abusive relationship with her ex husband. however we always talked about this, being open and honest and become very close with each other and hurts so much that this has been adding more fuel to the fire by her controlling friends.

i dont know what to say or how to start getting together a solid defence.


she also threw a metal can at me at one point a while back, as we were winding each other up (playing)... but that was uncalled for - overreaction!

any ideas or thoughts? I really would appreciate it. I am not like this at all, and have a clean record and wish for it to remain that way. But also can get character references.

 

[jharris352]

The case sounds weak to me because you were in a relationship. You have certain expectations when in a relationship so withdrawal of consent has to be pretty clear. The witnesses changed their stories and they have a conflict of interest as her friends. You are in the UK so I can't speak definitively about the law there but your case sounds like it is pretty strong. However if they are going to peruse this criminal prosecution you have no real choice but to get a solicitor to defend you. Please don't talk about this to anyone except your solicitor. Do not try to talk your way out of this with the police. Get legal help now and rely on them. Good luck.

 

[firehawk2009]

jharris I appreciate this. indeed I am going to be talking with the solicitor but having issues there also (I dont like them, trying to transfer firms but they are objecting and it really doesnt help)

this will be taken to the crown court for a trial (with jury).
going back to the part where my ex was saying "get off", I actually held my arms out to indicate a hug, we were both teary/upset (emotional time etc...), she then looked at me smiled and noded her head, I then went to her, held her gently by the arms to look into her eyes and gave her a peck on the cheek - then she told me to "get off get off" at this point her friend walked into the kitchen and I moved back as the door was opening so the door wouldnt hit anyone of us.

im not going to talk my way out of it but I am very scared and worried. this is just totally uncalled for. one minute she loves me and wants me round, the next all this. there is no need at all, she is older than myself and would expect some maturity here but clearly not the case


basically i just need advice/guidence from other sources to maybe for me to add into my defence or to look at rather than just the solicitor. it would help me mentally as well and some what put my mind at ease a little.

its affected my health and work, now on tablets. not good.

 

[mightymoose]

If she has no injuries and it is your word against hers with not witnesses, then you shouldn't have much to worry about (there is no evidence).
How long did she wait to report the incident?

 

[firehawk2009]

it all happened on that same day.
i left on my own account. I actually tried to leave twice but she would say (with her friend there, who made the statement 2.5 weeks later) "dont you dare leave. i wanna hear what you have to say and talk"..... then I sat down and tried to talk, but she just wouldnt be interested. So I then tried to leave again...and again, she told me to sit down and said that she was talking to her friend the night before on how much she loves me.

so I only did what I was told to do, and also to fight for the relationship. she did in the past too and I always asked throughout the relationship if things are ok, if she is happy, if there is anything that can be done to be better etc... but always got a "no, this is wonderful. you are my soulmate and different from other men. I am so lucky" responses.


Apperently in the UK, if the Prosecutor (CPS - Criminal Prosecution Services) thinks that beyond a reasonable doubt that it happened, they would start prosecuting even if it based on 1 statement.
initially there were 2 statements, the 2nd she did not see anything admittedly but only overheard a few words.

then 2.5/3 weeks after, 2 other statements were made but they were not even at the place at the time! and they were inconsistant.

 

[jharris352]

The only thing I'm not hearing from you is HER motive. If all that you say is true, why is she doing this?

 

[firehawk2009]

this is just it. I dont know. But this is what I think:

1) she knows that I was running out of money due to the recession
2) she knows she could not pay back the money she owes me
3) her friends interferring
4) confusion and her maybe seeing someone else
5) some women deal with things this way and completely send the message across (she even told me this a while back about how women work etc.... but always said that she isnt the type)
6) seeking attention perhaps.
7) miscommunication/interpretation and listening to her friends rather than actually understanding and talking about things as we normally do and the right thing to do.


she also had a hard week that week aside from the tension we were having (not seeing each other for a period of time, less communication etc... etc..) but also her work (a baby had died in her arms, she is a nurse)


she knows im not this type of person, as does everyone I know. I dont have anger in me or express it, I just deal with it inside of myself.

 

[jharris352]

She could be setting you up for a civil suit. Figuring that you would beat a criminal proceeding but would have a harder time with a civil proceeding because of the lower standard of proof. Something is definitely fishy with this whole thing. Good luck, I personally don't think she has been serious from the beginning or somewhere in the process she started operating against you for some reason. I would find out which.

 

[firehawk2009]

indeed. its difficult. i truely thought she was always open and genuine with me, as we both felt the same all the way through, hand on heart but i guess i was a fool. thing is I can smell the bad from the good.

another reason for this is because of the upsetness we had, due to negitivity being sent to each other (nothing of an abusive nature or anything, just words)

just makes no sense and this is the thing on how I can make a solid defence or add to it.

funny you should mention "she could be setting you up". true. because on the beginning of that month where we werent seeing each other, she arranged a meeting in the public and said that she wasnt trying to set me up or anything, as i had a phone call from the police for an "unofficial friendly warning".... because I was trying to get in touch with her, and also because I sent her flowers, as she did that to me a few months before.

something so minor into this makes no sense. All because I said (a few times before too) that I dont appreciate that she was trying to keep in touch with someone whom she had a one night stand with and that guy was cheating on his partner at the time, and she also said that she doesnt do one night stands.....

it was a threat to me and made me wonder but she always assured me that nothing is happening and she agrees that it would be a threat to me and would stop... she didnt. she tried to pin me down on the bed to stop me from leaving but then let me go.

so what am I meant to do? of course I would be upset, and I therefore left the premises in the first place and that is where it all went downhill tragically. then she tried to contact me herself, saying and crying, that she is sorry and loves me and just wants things to cool down

so yeh, doesnt make any sense.


but on that day, because we were both upset, and she was confused, and what her friends would be saying to her and the fact that she has been cheated on in the past and abused.
just so odd and hurtful.

no idea what other motive but i do know, i do not think of such things or do that, especially at a time of uncertainty! if i was wrong, i would put my hand up and say i was wrong.

 

[firehawk2009]

sorry to bring this up again. but times are tough and difficult and had the worst birthday ever. i remember her saying that i will have the best birthday.... yeh, sure.

anyway, i got her "Victim impact statement" and such lies written there. Things like, I have hacked into her email account and sent abusive emails to her male friends. (I have not, nor do I know she had male friends not that I care and further more, I dont have her account details or care less!)

She said that she felt guilty about calling the police (she never did call the police) but after hearing that I pleaded not guilty that she felt that i wouldn't let go of her.

What? Why feel guilty if you got me arrested/charged for something that apperently happened in her world when really, it didnt. why would you feel guilty?


Making up a story like she has to check outside before she closes the curtains or windows to make sure im not camping outside her house..... thats stupid

in the "any injuiries as a result of the crime" section, she wrote that she has a colonoscopy coming up and has IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome)

um.... she admitted there was no injuries in her statement and said that "touching" was on the clothes so how is that an injury? Further more, she does have problems with her colon as she got admitted to hospital for Bladder Retention failure and other things, and I was running around for her for a month and worried sick when she got admitted!

so upsetting and distressing. such lies. she probably is out with someone else now, or had a quick fling or keeping someone until the case is over or whatever. so sick and twisted.

im just at a loss again.
I just dont know how to prove my innocence. At the same time she needs to prove I did it but no one was there to see what happened. Sure, there were statements made against me but admittedly saw nothing. And 2 statements were made about 3 weeks after this "incident" and another statement from the 2 was made the following week.


The only thing I can take down for her credibility is the fact that the relationship wasnt over as in her statement she said it was. but that doesnt mean anything in regards to the actual event in question.


Now interestingly, my friend rang her up on her own account to figure out whats going on and wanted to know herself if what happened actually happened.
my friend said that it seemed like she was trying to believe what was in her mind actually happened when in reality it didnt.
But also the fact that she would talk about the fact that she still had my eternity ring.
The fact that she tried to message my first ex partner to "dig some dirt" (I have nothing to hide) but the response she got wasnt what she was expecting.

how stupid.

oh - and she wanted my friend to make a statement against me. um...why? What relevance would that have? None.



makes no sense.

 

[firehawk2009]

I got hold of the advanced disclosure papers.
Even though it was read to me by the solicitor, and I couldn't believe everything i was in complete shock, distress and tears.

Anyway, a month later or so I got the papers and was reading through them yesterday when I got them.

man. such lies. apperently she said that I grabbed her by the throat on this emergency call? she never mentioned this in her statement and I did no such thing

she also said I pushed her down the stairs a while back before this? I never did!

what the hell. im almost about to have a breakdown. i am very close to doing so.