Would I be able to be reimbursed?

[jw65]

The order is in Hampton Va. courts. I have been paying child support since the day the courts ordered it, but nearly 6 years ago for insurance my joint and the mothers primary went to the grandmother. So the grandmother and the mother have joint custody split with the grandmother holding primary custodial custody. The grandmother did not request any support be paid to her during that court hearing what so ever, well 6 years later the courts still never notified DCSE that the mother recieving the support was non custodial parent and that she should not be recieving money. I had a talk with DCSE finally today, I got a new worker and she actually listened to me after all these years, told me to bring the order in saying the mother is not primary custodial parent and they will take care of it. They said they were never informed there was a change... I do not understand that how the courts didnt inform child support enforcement that the mother was the primary custodial parent anymore but thats what they are claiming. The grandmother never stated in court that she wanted to recieve child support, and with the change of custody there was no new child support order put into motion which wouldnt there have to be since it was a new person in charge of her care? But no for 6 years almost now I have been paying support in my exs name the case is still in my exs name not the legal custodial parent. Even DCSE said that I shouldnt be paying it to here and my ex even tried to take me to court last year for more money!! I want to know if I get a lawyer or even do it myself would it be possibleto be reimbursed the $15,000+ since there was technically no legal order stating I was to pay anything at all?

 

[Proserpina]

The order is in Hampton Va. courts. I have been paying child support since the day the courts ordered it, but nearly 6 years ago for insurance my joint and the mothers primary went to the grandmother. So the grandmother and the mother have joint custody split with the grandmother holding primary custodial custody.

OK.

The grandmother did not request any support be paid to her during that court hearing what so ever, well 6 years later the courts still never notified DCSE that the mother recieving the support was non custodial parent and that she should not be recieving money.

Why didn't you, Mom or Grandma inform DCSE? It's not the court's responsibility to do so.

I had a talk with DCSE finally today, I got a new worker and she actually listened to me after all these years, told me to bring the order in saying the mother is not primary custodial parent and they will take care of it. They said they were never informed there was a change... I do not understand that how the courts didnt inform child support enforcement that the mother was the primary custodial parent anymore but thats what they are claiming.

Because it's not the court's responsibility to do so.

The grandmother never stated in court that she wanted to recieve child support, and with the change of custody there was no new child support order put into motion which wouldnt there have to be since it was a new person in charge of her care?

Not necessarily, no.

But no for 6 years almost now I have been paying support in my exs name the case is still in my exs name not the legal custodial parent. Even DCSE said that I shouldnt be paying it to here and my ex even tried to take me to court last year for more money!! I want to know if I get a lawyer or even do it myself would it be possibleto be reimbursed the $15,000+ since there was technically no legal order stating I was to pay anything at all?

Nope.

If you didn't petition the courts to change the child support order, it's nobody else's fault but yours.

 

[jw65]

Hello thank you for the quick reply.
I have tried to inform DCSE on a number of occasions but they wouldnt listen to me, my worker has changed neumerous times and for some reason they just dont listen to me at all.
Finally this new worker actually is trying, and she said that it was partially my fault but it was the primarys responsibility to notify of the changes because she filed for the withdrawls in the first place.
ALso I dont know if it helps any but they've put limitations on my visitations that arent court ordered, and they have been denying me my visits for a few years now. I am supposed to have my daughter every Wed and every other weekend. And they have been changing the time on Wed as they see fit for themselves without contacting me until last minute to tell me... And I havent had a weekend with my daughter in nearly 8 years because they have been letting my sister and her husband have her. They use excuses like she has ice skating this weekend etc etc. And yes I know I should have filed on it awhile back and I didnt but it didnt bother me as much until now because they are threatening me and telling me that I wont ever see her again etc. About 3 months ago my brother in law had her (on one of MY weekends) and my oldest daughter(21 years old) who was staying with my mother at the time to care for her called me and informed me that my brother in law droped my daugte roff at my mothers in my daughters care and my mother ripped my 8 year old daughter off her bed hurting her, yelled at her called her foul names just because she didnt want to go with her to skating. She wanted to stay with her sister and watch TV which is who she was placed in the care of mind you. I went to the skating rink and talked to my 8 year old and she said flat out she was scared that her grandmother would hurt her again, and right there according to VA state law espically since it was my visitation day I had the right to take her out of there. Well little did I know my mother had called my 8 years olds mother and other grandmother up and they were on their way, they called and started threatening me that if I take her out of the skating rink I'm going to jail for kidnapping etc which I dont know where they got the right to state that from because according to the cop I spoke with since it was legally my visitation day and my daughter was scared for her life I had the right to remove her from my mothers care. They got to the rink and started in on me saying that I'll never see my daughter again etc etc.
I'm sorry that was a real soft spot didnt mean to go so into it, but I was told by a friend that the visitation stuff would help my case.
Anyway so yes I am aware that it was partially my fault it wasnt filed but according to DCSE I have been paying this money to the wrong person for 6 years now the check has been going in my exs name.
So if I wouldnt be reimbursed whats going to happen? Are they going to make her pay all the money back to her mother?
And theres no way i'd be reimbursed even though DCSE has even said I shouldnt have been paying her, and I've been denied my rights to visitation?
Yes I know I took way to long to start all of this but better late then never right?
Thank you for all of your help.

 

[jw65]

Oh and mom and Grandma didnt go to DCSE because they dont care, their main focus since my ex left me has been to make me give up my rights and drop out of the picture.
They've stated on many MANY occasions they dont want my money they just want out of my life and that they are going to do everything they can to scare me away.

 

[MorgansDaddy]

If you want anything done you have to provide the court order to them, the courts will not. Likely it will take several months but they will audit and if found to be true that you no longer should be paying, then it will stop, however I wouldn't expect to get any money back unless you can get a judge to sign an order back dating the support you owed(or paid) to zero. My wife had to do something similar, difference is she was racking up child support(she didn't pay it) when the child was in her care 99% of the time. She was able to get the judge to fix the order and the judge also backdated all the months she was behind from nonpayment because she shouldn't have been paying it especially when the child lived with us. After the order was signed she had to be the one to submit a copy of the order and it took like 6 months for them to note it on her account, but it is what is needed to be done. She actually got $1300 taken out of her tax return that year which is how much she was behind then(child lived with us the whole time) because she had yet to petition the courts to get it fixed, which she will never get back. Just expect to cut your losses and move forward with trying to prevent any more loss. It is in your hands to take care of and of course the mother and grandmother doesn't care, they aren't paying the money. I really do feel where your coming from though and hope it all works out for you. A judge may say you should be paying support though, but tell you it is your responsibility as a parent to pay it to the grandmother, and what you paid wrongfully to the mother should belong to the grandmother who would have to I guess sue her daughter if she wanted it. I guess if the grandmother doesn't want support then you are in the clear once you prove you are wrongfully paying support to someone who doesn't have the child. Again good luck.

 

[jw65]

Thanks that was really helpful, the funny thing is I'm not paying the support to her DCSE is actually garnishing it from my earnings and giving it to the mother. Dispite the many times I told them shes not the primary and is only non custodial joint they refused to listen to me. Thank god for this new worker I'm telling you, she actually took a minute to look and said wow you mean to tell me we've been taking money from you and giving it to someone who isnt primary. My ex even took me to court last year to try to get more money!! My eyes alost poped out of my head when I got that summons, 5 years she hadnt been primary and there it was in black and whilte mother and dcse summonsing me to court to get more support. I was going to use that right there to get them to see that it was going to the wrong person and the second we got there she went in and said she wanted to withdrawl the case because she found out i had just gotten laid off and she didnt want a reduction she wanted more because she wanted me so broke that I'd give up my rights.
Why doesnt DCSE ever listen to the father? I just dont get it... Do I have the right to be heard the moneys coming out of my pocket and away from my family. I'd not be so upset if it wasnt for the fact that I know for a fact the money is not going to my child it's going to her mothers partying and shopping.

 

[Proserpina]

DCSE needs proof of things - your word isn't good enough I'm afraid (likewise, if the other parent just called and told them something, it also wouldn't be good enough).

They need the court orders before they can act

(and that's your responsibility to get those orders to 'em - fast!)