Wife Had An Affair - Primary Home, Small Business, Rings Split (No Kids) ?

pgriffin7

New Member
Jurisdiction
New Jersey
Hi,

I found out my wife was having an affair for over a year and we're now filing for divorce. I'm hoping someone could give me a little more direction here before I reach out to an attorney to see if it's worth doing a "contested" divorce vs. a "uncontested" divorce.

Before I found out about the affair we were going to have an amicable "uncontested" divorce and split everything 50/50; however, now that I found out she had a year long affair while still trying to work things out with me I don't feel like she's entitled to a 50/50 split anymore, so I'm doing a little more research on this on my own to better educate myself.

1. Would I be able to get a 75/25 split on the profits of the house due to the affair she had?

My dad gifted me money for the down payment when we first purchased the house, and her dad paid for the wedding. Based on past conversations with her she says it's not fair that my dad gave money towards an asset that has appreciated while her dad just spent money on a wedding with no return.

2. I started a side LLC business before we were married that's under just my name, would she be able to take anything from this business?

The business is not profitable currently since I reinvest any profits back to the business but it is growing each year, but I don't know if she's entitled to anything from my side business.

3. Would I be able to request to have the rings I gave her returned back to me?

I spent a decent amount of money on these rings and since she violated the trust in our marriage with this affair I would like to get them back instead of her holding on to them and selling them to make money on them.

Thank you!
 
You should, of course, consult with an attorney, however based upon what I know and have read, New Jersey is like New York - infidelity means nothing and will not get you a dime more.

While infidelity can be stated as the grounds for divorce (although most people go the "no-fault" route) it doesn't mean much when it comes to how anything is handled.

Do you know what uncontested/contested mean? If you and your wife disagree on anything, then it will be contested. If everything is agreed to by both parties, then basically an agreement gets drawn up by an attorney and filed with the court. You don't get to choose between contested and uncontested - it's all based upon both parties agreeing or not. I don't see this being an uncontested case, but it's up to you and your wife.
 
If you purchased the house together, you have equal stake in the house. That your father gifted you money that you decided together to use toward the purchase of a home is irrelevant. She may not have a claim to the business itself, but any profits earned and increase in value during the marriage are fair game.

The cost of an affair is not 25% of the marital assets unless you had a prenup that specified this.
 
Read this.

As you can see, Jersey courts take into account 15 factors (plus a 16th factor that is "anything else the court deems relevant") when determining the equitable distribution of marital property in a divorce. As you can see, adultery or infidelity doesn't even make the list unless the court determines that it is relevant under the 16th "wild card" factor. With that said, here are my thoughts on your questions:

1. While the court might consider the infidelity, it would be pretty hard to believe that the court would do so such that you'd get 75% of the proceeds of the sale of the house. This is especially true given your apparent admission that divorce was at least being considered before you found out about the adultery. As far as your dad gifting money for the down payment, unless you have clear, contemporaneous, written evidence that the gift was only to you (as opposed to the both of you), it won't make a bit of difference.

2. Not enough information to hazard a guess.

3. You are free to request anything you like, but I've never heard of a court ordering parties to return gifts to each other.

If you want to seek a divorce based on the adultery -- as opposed to a far simpler and less expensive no-fault divorce -- that may change things, but that's something to discuss with your divorce attorney.
 
Thanks for all the replies!

I spoke to an attorney and he said the following.

1. Regarding the property split; you guys are right that in NJ it will be 50/50 regardless of the affair unless I can prove that she spent marital money towards supporting this affair.

However, he did say that if my father gifted me the money that I would be able to claim this off the top of the sale of the house and then split the remainder 50/50 with her. My father gifted me $100K for the down payment and the mortgage company had me fill out a "gift letter" that you can see in the link below. It shows that it was only gifted to me ("son") but the letter required both of us to sign it; however, I believe that since it just shows "son" that I could get this portion of the money back...I'm following up with my attorney on this now.

Gyazo - acf4d32e6476bbda9787d71dfe70ddd1.jpg

2. Regarding my small business; he said that if the business was started before being married, no marital funds were used to support the business, and she did not play any role in running the business then she would not be entitled to any of the business.

This is an online business that I started before we were married, which I basically run myself, so if I was gone this business would close. She has also never helped in running the business and I have an outside investor so no marital money has ever been used towards the business; so I think that I would be able to retain the whole business based on what my attorney said.

3. Regarding the rings; yeah she would end up keeping them since I gifted them to her.
 
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