What should I do?

[Cherish97]

Jurisdiction

Kansas

Wanting to move with my family to another state with my son, his father is on the birth certificate, we were never married and have nothing in the courts, and doesn't pay child support. He only comes to see him when his girlfriend makes him, I know his girlfriend so I know more than he thinks I know, and even then he doesn't make any effort to see him. This whole year he has seen him 10 times and he knows about the move and even said he wasn't going to fight it. Growing up I had a dad like this didn't come see me or even ask how I was and I don't want my son to grow up thinking he isn't good enough like I did. What do I need to do just in case he changes his mind about fighting.?

 

[Highwayman]

I doubt he's changing his mind, he doesn't seem to care.

 

[army judge]

Dude has already forgotten you and your kid.

If the busy body friend wouldn't pester him, he'd have had zero visits.

He has no parental rights.

A name on a birth certificate regarding an unmarried male means nothing.

An unmarried dude has to go to court, prove paternity, seek court ordered visitation.

Dude has done nothing, so take your kid and get.

Dude won't chase you or the kid.

 

[mightymoose]

we were never married and have nothing in the courts

Enough said. Go wherever you like. If he doesn't like it he will have to petition for visitation and it sounds like he is unlikely to do that. There apparently is nothing in place prohibiting you from moving anywhere you like.

 

[zddoodah]

his father is on the birth certificate

His name being on the birth certificate, by itself, is probably not sufficient to establish paternity. However, if his name is on the birth certificate as a result of a written acknowledgment of paternity signed by both you and him, then that probably is sufficient.

Growing up I had a dad like this didn't come see me or even ask how I was and I don't want my son to grow up thinking he isn't good enough like I did.

You can influence what your child thinks, but you can't control it.

What do I need to do just in case he changes his mind about fighting.?

I don't really understand the question. The man you refer to as your child's father doesn't appear to have much interest in the child and has affirmatively told you that he won't take action to stop or impact your intended move with the child. If he changes his mind and files something with the court, then you'll have to deal with that. If he does that before you move, then your move may be impacted (at least as long as the court proceedings are ongoing). If he does it after the move, then you may have to deal with a long distance court case (depending on how far away you're moving).

 

[ElleMD]

The way to avoid this was obviously not to have a child with someone you were not married to and who was not committed to being a parent. Now, it is clearly too late. You can't force this guy to be involved, nor can you control your child's feelings about your choice of a father for him. You can file with the court to establish paternity and obtain child support, but you can not force visitation and you can not control how either feels about the other. Right now, you are free to move where you like. If the guy doesn't like it, you can not prevent him from filing in court to stop it. Only a judge can determine if it should be allowed or not.