Washington State Divorce trouble

[reckoner87]

My friends husband is in the Air Force and they are getting a divorce. She quit her job to move to Washington state with him and had no income other than his. She had a child before this marriage and is the custodial parent. He marked that there were no dependents in the dissolution paperwork, but still listed the child. Both rely on the husband to live.

She was served with divorce papers and he will not pay more than 300 dollars a month to her to live off of, and is making her pay half of his bills, around 9000 dollars each. She has less than 1000 dollars a month income and has lived with me for the past few months. The final hearing for dissolution was supposed to be on the 4th of February.

The husband hired an attorney who mailed her a letter requesting her to strike the hearing on the 4th so he can draw up final papers to suit him. She is terrified of having to pay even more because now there are attorney fees involved and she has student loans to pay off and now 9000 extra dollars. She cannot afford an attorney, what would be a smart way to handle this situation?

 

[Proserpina]

Honestly?

She needs to do whatever it takes to get an attorney. Try Legal Aid, try the State Bar Association for a referral - anything.

Going into a divorce without an attorney, when your ex IS represented...well, it rarely ends well.

Two questions though.


First, is the husband actually the LEGAL father of the child?

If not - he has NO responsibility towards the child at all. The child's legal father is financially responsible.

If yes - then she needs an attorney even moreso.

And second, how long have they been married?

 

[reckoner87]

They were married for 3 and half years. And he is not the legal father but is being paid extra since he's claiming both as dependents for taxes and military pay.

 

[reckoner87]

I've given her the number for local Pro Bono attorneys but I don't know if she will be able to get the services of one on such short notice.

 

[army judge]

I've given her the number for local Pro Bono attorneys but I don't know if she will be able to get the services of one on such short notice.

If she isn't represented by an attorney, she should NOT sign anything an attorney sends her.
No one can FORCE her to sign.
Her soon to be "ex" can't make her pay anything.
He can bully her into agreeing.
But, she can stand her ground and do what Nancy Reagan opined, "Just say no!"

So, tell her not to sign anything.
By not signing, that will force his hand.
They'll have to go to court and have a hearing.
But, that raises the stakes for him, too.
Why?
Because, a contested divorce means he will have to spend MORE money, that he doesn't have.
That makes him more amenable to compromise.

So, tell her to refuse to sign.
Force their hand and await a court date.
Hopefully by then, you can help her get an attorney.
By the way, are you the father of the her child?
Or, are you her new boyfriend?

 

[Proserpina]

So he's NOT responsible for the child.

And frankly...once they're divorced, she's not going to get a penny from him. No alimony (not for a 3 year marriage in WA), and certainly no child support.

Your friend seriously needs to do whatever it takes to become self-supportive.

 

[reckoner87]

I'm her half brother's half brother. Kinda weird. I told her not to sign anything, she's been searching for a job and was supposed to start school to get a nursing certificate but 2 weeks before classes were set to start she received a call from the school saying classes were cancelled until June. She's not trying to get alimony after the divorce, she said that he only receives Basic Allowance for Housing because he's married, and it's even more because he claims the child as his dependent. She wants part of that monthly to help survive. She's trying to become self supportive, but both of us are having a hard time finding jobs in this area. I'm attempting to go back to school in pursuit of a law degree. Her, her brother, me and my brother share a house at the moment. It sounds weird talking on her behalf but she's put in applications left and right, and no one has even called back.

 

[army judge]

I'm her half brother's half brother. Kinda weird. I told her not to sign anything, she's been searching for a job and was supposed to start school to get a nursing certificate but 2 weeks before classes were set to start she received a call from the school saying classes were cancelled until June. She's not trying to get alimony after the divorce, she said that he only receives Basic Allowance for Housing because he's married, and it's even more because he claims the child as his dependent. She wants part of that monthly to help survive. She's trying to become self supportive, but both of us are having a hard time finding jobs in this area. I'm attempting to go back to school in pursuit of a law degree. Her, her brother, me and my brother share a house at the moment. It sounds weird talking on her behalf but she's put in applications left and right, and no one has even called back.

Okay, you're a good Samaritan. God bless you.

He will stop getting that extra money (housing allowance), once he's divorced.
She can FORGET getting a dime of that money.
Sure, he may draw it for a few more weeks, but it will end.
If he's a lower enlisted, it is barely enough to cover the monthly rent and expenses on a house.
If they lived on base, he didn't get it. They took it back for allowing him to live in quarters.

But, as Proserpina correctly stated, she won;t get alimony and he won't have to pay child support for a child that isn't his.
At the end of the day, she'll get her freedom.
To achieve that, she shouldn't agree to taking on half of the debt.
He will; be stuck with that, if she is patient.