Very confused over this complex issue

[mjg_]

I had sexual relations with a young woman with whom I worked part time 3 years ago. She was a collage student who was from Texas. I am in New Jersey. About a month later, she told me that she thought she was pregnant. Soon after that, she moved back to Texas and I have not heard from her and have no idea how to contact her. My (now former) employer did not maintain her application and contact info, so I had no help there. She, however, had my phone number and knew where I worked. My former employer has just informed me that they have recieved a document from the Office of the Attorney General Child Support Division of Texas seeking my current employer (the spelling of my name was wrong, so I assume that's why they could not find me). I have considerable doubt that I am the father, but it is possible.

I am now recently married and my wife and I are trying to start our own family and are in the process of purchasing a condo, with the closing date less than 2 months away. I am not interested in being the father of a child that I did not know about, especially in my current marital position. Our financial situation, while stable, is somewhat precarious as we can afford to live there and make the payments, but our budget will be tight. I have read through the applicable sections of THIS WEBSITE and it does not look good for me. I have a rather long laundry list of questions concerning this.

1 - Should I go ahead and call the Attorney General's (for now on, Ill refer to them as AG) office myself and spare my former employer the legwork, or should I let them handle it?

2 - IF I contact the AG, would I be given the name of the child and parent? Am I permitted to know any personal information, like where and when the child was born? Medical records?

3 - How long will it take for the AG to process an ararngement? In other words, how long before I have to start making payments?

4 - Do I have to pay for the paternity testing?

5 - Would I be responsible for retro child support, even though I had no knowledge of this child?

6 - Despite the fact that the child was concieved in New Jersey and both parents where living in New Jersey at the time, the case would be held according to Texas law since the mother and child are residents of Texas, I assume. Does that mean that if there is a hearing, that I must go to Texas?

7 - Did the mother violate any of my rights or any law by leaving the state and not giving me any method by which I could reach her?

8- What percentage of my salary is garnished for child support? Is it from my gross or net income? Are my benefits included in the gross income?

9 - Would the mother be eligable to recieve money from me for medical expenses during the birth or any expenses incurred by care for the child?

I am very frightened and confused by this turn of events, as the timing is very poor and I could lose my home before I even get into it due to the financial strain.

Answer whichever questions you can. I appreciate any help. I know this is a monster of a post.

MJG

 

[ironchef10]

Ahhh...welcome to the world of "how to get screwed royally". I am in a similar situation. My wife and I separated for over a year, a situation which we both we certain was headed for divorce. I started dating this woman and it became fairly serious. She always told me she was on the pill and I did see a prescription for it. However, she then started playing games, telling me "oh I'm pregnant" but at the end of the month it was always "just kidding" or "I was testing you", etc. After 3 or 4 times, I didn't like the games and broke off the relationship. My wife and I have reconciled and suddenly, two years later, she waltzes in to our lives saying I am the father of her daughter!

Of course, I'm asking for a DNA test, but if it turns out I am, what are my options? I wanted nothing to do with this woman which was why I ended the relationship in the first place! Fortunately, my wife is nothing but supportive. Can you help with both my situation and mjg's? I'd like to know what my options are to minimize the damage she can do. Help! Thanks!

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Originally posted by mjg:
I had sexual relations with a young woman with whom I worked part time 3 years ago. She was a collage student who was from Texas. I am in New Jersey. About a month later, she told me that she thought she was pregnant. Soon after that, she moved back to Texas and I have not heard from her and have no idea how to contact her. My (now former) employer did not maintain her application and contact info, so I had no help there. She, however, had my phone number and knew where I worked. My former employer has just informed me that they have recieved a document from the Office of the Attorney General Child Support Division of Texas seeking my current employer (the spelling of my name was wrong, so I assume that's why they could not find me). I have considerable doubt that I am the father, but it is possible.

I am now recently married and my wife and I are trying to start our own family and are in the process of purchasing a condo, with the closing date less than 2 months away. I am not interested in being the father of a child that I did not know about, especially in my current marital position. Our financial situation, while stable, is somewhat precarious as we can afford to live there and make the payments, but our budget will be tight. I have read through the applicable sections of THIS WEBSITE and it does not look good for me. I have a rather long laundry list of questions concerning this.

1 - Should I go ahead and call the Attorney General's (for now on, Ill refer to them as AG) office myself and spare my former employer the legwork, or should I let them handle it?

2 - IF I contact the AG, would I be given the name of the child and parent? Am I permitted to know any personal information, like where and when the child was born? Medical records?

3 - How long will it take for the AG to process an ararngement? In other words, how long before I have to start making payments?

4 - Do I have to pay for the paternity testing?

5 - Would I be responsible for retro child support, even though I had no knowledge of this child?

6 - Despite the fact that the child was concieved in New Jersey and both parents where living in New Jersey at the time, the case would be held according to Texas law since the mother and child are residents of Texas, I assume. Does that mean that if there is a hearing, that I must go to Texas?

7 - Did the mother violate any of my rights or any law by leaving the state and not giving me any method by which I could reach her?

8- What percentage of my salary is garnished for child support? Is it from my gross or net income? Are my benefits included in the gross income?

9 - Would the mother be eligable to recieve money from me for medical expenses during the birth or any expenses incurred by care for the child?

I am very frightened and confused by this turn of events, as the timing is very poor and I could lose my home before I even get into it due to the financial strain.

Answer whichever questions you can. I appreciate any help. I know this is a monster of a post.

There are a lot of questions here and you are probably best taking things one at a time, first finding out whether you really are the father of the child. To begin, you should not have any wages garnished until it is determined that you are the child's father.

I think you definitely want to conctact an attorney soon to discuss these issues. I would not want to answer them here, especially given the unique set of facts. Do prepare yourself that in the event you are the child's father, you will have to deal with these issues. At the same time, there should be repercussions for the mother's conduct -- but that doesn't mean that this goes out of the money that would be to take care of the child to ensure that the child has appropriate means.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Originally posted by ironchef10:
Ahhh...welcome to the world of "how to get screwed royally". I am in a similar situation. My wife and I separated for over a year, a situation which we both we certain was headed for divorce. I started dating this woman and it became fairly serious. She always told me she was on the pill and I did see a prescription for it. However, she then started playing games, telling me "oh I'm pregnant" but at the end of the month it was always "just kidding" or "I was testing you", etc. After 3 or 4 times, I didn't like the games and broke off the relationship. My wife and I have reconciled and suddenly, two years later, she waltzes in to our lives saying I am the father of her daughter!

Of course, I'm asking for a DNA test, but if it turns out I am, what are my options? I wanted nothing to do with this woman which was why I ended the relationship in the first place! Fortunately, my wife is nothing but supportive. Can you help with both my situation and mjg's? I'd like to know what my options are to minimize the damage she can do. Help! Thanks!

While there are ways to minimize the damage the problem might still be present -- there is a child that needs support and simply because there is an irresponsible adult it doesn't mean the child will suffer as a result. You too should also speak to an attorney to know your options in this specific case. Unfortunately these things happen.