Trouble at home... who is right and who is wrong

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inneedofadvice3

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I live with my fiance and both of our names are on the lease and I am almost 7 months pregnant. A few weeks ago my fiance and I had an argument and he left, and a a little while later he had his mother and sister come to our apartment. The sister banged on the door and I didnt answer, so she then entered on her own. She came in yelling at me and I told her to leave, as I was closing the door she pushed the door into me and pushed me. I then slammed the door on her and called the police. She drove off before they came but they took my report and went to her residence. She lied and said I spit on her and she never pushed me, her mother said she heard us arguing but didnt see any contact. I now have court in a couple weeks because I filed for a restraining order. My finace is going as her witness saying he said she could come over to our home even though he wasnt home and that I said for her to leave. Is it ok that she just walked in and stayed when I asked her to leave. Do I not have any say-so of who is here when my fiance isnt? Could I be granted the restraining order
 
Do you need the restraining order?

Isn't it easier to stay away from each other.

Yes, his sister and mother were morally wrong.

You could have had the deadbolt on, or a chain engaged and they wouldn't have gotten in without breaking the door or lock.

Why not install that type of protection?

Maybe, just maybe you don't want any further involvement with that tribe of savages?

Will you get the RO?

You'll know soon. I'm not psychic.
 
Thanks for the reply. I didnt realize I left out the next incident, the very next day the sister starting sending me text messages telling me to leave Florida and go back to NY if I didnt want anything to happen to me. So I showed an officer who told me to go to the court and file an injunction for a restraining order. I would love it if I didnt need to, and if we could stay away from eachother, I have not contacted her, or gone by her home, however she is still my fiances sister, which will be the Aunt of my child once the baby is born in December and I just dont want any future problems. Thats why I wanted the restraining order, or a refrain order at least. Something stating she cant contact me anymore threatening me or anything.
 
inneedofadvice3 said:
Thanks for the reply. I didnt realize I left out the next incident, the very next day the sister starting sending me text messages telling me to leave Florida and go back to NY if I didnt want anything to happen to me. So I showed an officer who told me to go to the court and file an injunction for a restraining order. I would love it if I didnt need to, and if we could stay away from eachother, I have not contacted her, or gone by her home, however she is still my fiances sister, which will be the Aunt of my child once the baby is born in December and I just dont want any future problems. Thats why I wanted the restraining order, or a refrain order at least. Something stating she cant contact me anymore threatening me or anything.
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Yes, what she did (and continued to do) was crazy, bizarre, and uncivilized.

That restraining order won't change any of that.

In fact, it won't stop her.

If she violates it and runs away, you can take her to court and eventually she'll pay a fine.

She could be arrested.

A court order won't stop that idiot and her heathen band of idiots and derelicts.

What you might want to consider, is the fruit never falls far from the tree.

When is your boyfriend going to behave this way?

You said this started because he argued with you.

Then he sent his "attack dogs" over to further assault and deal with you!

People in love don't argue, they disagree.

The families of people in love don't invade YOUR home on instruction of the ONE you love, that father of your baby.

This band of savages, including your boyfriend, will make your life a living hell!

Then, when your baby is born, he/she will be forced to live that horrible life.

Don't expect a restraining order to stop these savages.

They will strike again.

Civilized people don't need pieces of paper to tell them NOT to invade the home and lives of other people.

This clan of Kallikaks or Jukes will never change.

Eventually, they will consume you.

Kallikaks:

http://www.indiana.edu/~intell/kallikak.shtml

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:...-qkkE0&t=1&usg=__WoeeDJ4CK4nAjjdXMXfNlasqxUI=

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:...2sm3Tg&t=1&usg=__AYvyvs9-J2HsdQldxltb27uFKbs=

Jukes:

http://www.anatpro.com/index_files/Jukes2.jpg

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:...UAABK8&t=1&usg=__gWOmAntCQFAmt0gusUYs2zbnmw0=

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_studies_in_eugenics


 
inneedofadvice3 said:
Thanks for the reply. I didnt realize I left out the next incident, the very next day the sister starting sending me text messages telling me to leave Florida and go back to NY if I didnt want anything to happen to me. So I showed an officer who told me to go to the court and file an injunction for a restraining order. I would love it if I didnt need to, and if we could stay away from eachother, I have not contacted her, or gone by her home, however she is still my fiances sister, which will be the Aunt of my child once the baby is born in December and I just dont want any future problems. Thats why I wanted the restraining order, or a refrain order at least. Something stating she cant contact me anymore threatening me or anything.
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One quick note.

If you DO want to move back to NY - do so BEFORE you actually give birth.

If you have the baby in FL and then want to move back to NY (I'm assuming that's where you're from originally?), you will have an uphill battle on your hands.
 
Proserpina said:
One quick note.

If you DO want to move back to NY - do so BEFORE you actually give birth.

If you have the baby in FL and then want to move back to NY (I'm assuming that's where you're from originally?), you will have an uphill battle on your hands.
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Again, OP, outstanding and legally correct advice from Proserpina.

Get out of Dodge City now, and the OK Corral fights will end.

You won't need a piece of paper to keep these violent, savages from harming you or the baby.

You'll have 1,200 miles to protect you.

These cheap, broke savages won't be able to harm you or the baby easily in NY state.

And, without going into painful detail about why, this may be one of the last times you can move without having that brute stand in your way!!!!
 
Thank you very much, that was very helpful actually. To tell you the truth, I would like to be in NY I just would like my fiance to be with me, but I know he wont leave Florida. I dont feel comfortable here anymore after all this because he sides with his family instead of being a man and sticking up for me. I could understand him sticking by his family, but some support or comfort would be nice. I know if I wait till after having the baby to leave Florida will be a hard time especially traveling, I just didnt want to keep him away from the baby, because as bad as it sounds, I know he wont come to NY to see the baby (horrible, I know) But its true, going to court and paperwork wont resolve anything when you actually think about it. People will do as they please either way, especially when they act in such manner.
 
inneedofadvice3 said:
Thank you very much, that was very helpful actually. To tell you the truth, I would like to be in NY I just would like my fiance to be with me, but I know he wont leave Florida. I dont feel comfortable here anymore after all this because he sides with his family instead of being a man and sticking up for me. I could understand him sticking by his family, but some support or comfort would be nice. I know if I wait till after having the baby to leave Florida will be a hard time especially traveling, I just didnt want to keep him away from the baby, because as bad as it sounds, I know he wont come to NY to see the baby (horrible, I know) But its true, going to court and paperwork wont resolve anything when you actually think about it. People will do as they please either way, especially when they act in such manner.
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Going to court will protect both you and he, and more importantly, the baby. Once the baby is born (and again if you give birth in Florida he can legally prevent you from relocating your child out of the State...you won't have this problem if you give birth in NY), file to establish custody and child support. If Dad wants visitation, he can file himself or you can do it. Court orders protect all of you :)

I do feel your pain, and I think you're in a tough situation. However if you truly believe that moving to NY will mean he won't visit his child you must really question staying with him at all. That does not show commitment to either you or the child and frankly you both deserve better.

If it were me - and obviously this is pure opinion with no legalities attached whatsoever - I could not bring myself to stick around such a person.

Ultimately you'll do what's best for you and your baby. I know it's not your intent to take the baby away from Dad, but it's not in either of your best interests to stick around in a toxic environment.

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
 
Proserpina said:
Going to court will protect both you and he, and more importantly, the baby. Once the baby is born (and again if you give birth in Florida he can legally prevent you from relocating your child out of the State...you won't have this problem if you give birth in NY), file to establish custody and child support. If Dad wants visitation, he can file himself or you can do it. Court orders protect all of you :)

I do feel your pain, and I think you're in a tough situation. However if you truly believe that moving to NY will mean he won't visit his child you must really question staying with him at all. That does not show commitment to either you or the child and frankly you both deserve better.

If it were me - and obviously this is pure opinion with no legalities attached whatsoever - I could not bring myself to stick around such a person.

Ultimately you'll do what's best for you and your baby. I know it's not your intent to take the baby away from Dad, but it's not in either of your best interests to stick around in a toxic environment.

Good luck and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!
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I second and third Proserpina's wise counsel.

Now you, OP, must choose wisely.

I'm believing you will.
 
Thanks again for the advice and support. Again, very helpful. I definitely didnt even think before about what would happen if I gave birth here and then tried to go back to NY. Him taking me to court so I couldnt leave never crossed my mine. I definitely have a lot to think about. When truthfully, I feel as if I know already what I need to do, all my family is in NY, theres nothing in Florida for me except him, and its true, if he wouldnt travel to NY to see his child, why am I sacrificing everything for a man who wouldnt do that for us. Thanks a lot for all the help.
 
Cyndi Lauper sang a wonderful tune once upon a time.

It was entitled "True Colors".

Ah, yes.
 
inneedofadvice3 said:
Thanks again for the advice and support. Again, very helpful. I definitely didnt even think before about what would happen if I gave birth here and then tried to go back to NY. Him taking me to court so I couldnt leave never crossed my mine. I definitely have a lot to think about. When truthfully, I feel as if I know already what I need to do, all my family is in NY, theres nothing in Florida for me except him, and its true, if he wouldnt travel to NY to see his child, why am I sacrificing everything for a man who wouldnt do that for us. Thanks a lot for all the help.
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What a lier you are.

http://www.thelaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44461&p=139021&highlight=#post139021
 
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