In July of this year, I was informed by my ex that I am the father of her son, who was born in July. A little back story here…
We started seeing each other May of last year in New Mexico. Two weeks into the relationship, she moved in together at my apartment complex (I can contact the manager to get a copy of the lease with her name on it). A week later, we found out she was pregnant. Two weeks after that, she dumped me and she left. The day after, she told me the baby wasn't mine. Seeing as the last time she had slept with her ex was a week before we slept together, I believed it. Two weeks later, after she got back from a doctor's appointment, she told me that the baby was mine, and that the nurse tech (or someone) messed up the first time in telling her how far along she was. I begged for her to come back and give having a somewhat normal family a shot (she already had an 8 year old daughter – and yes I still have an email begging her to come back), but she refused. Shortly after, she moved to Utah, where her family is. I tried to stay in contact with her but it was clear that she didn't want any with me. About two months after she told me the baby was mine, she told me, after another doctor's visit, that because she could tell the gender of the baby at that point in time, she was too far along for the baby to be mine, and that was the end of it (or so I thought). Since then, I moved into an apartment with (who was then) my girlfriend and her two kids, and have gotten married. Then, in July, someone from the Office of Recovery Services in Utah emailed me for my birthday, address, and social security number so they could set up a paternity test. She emailed me saying that they tested her husband first (yes, she was still married when the child was conceived – her husband is in the military so the benefits are great. I believe she's still married, but I'm not sure), then her ex, and both turned out not to be the father. Of course, I trust her just about as far as I can throw her, so she may be lying and hoping it's me, seeing as she's living on unemployment, has only had low paying jobs, and sees me as being made of money because I'm an engineer.
I'm not sure where exactly I want to go from here. At this time, my wife doesn't work, and I can provide the child with a better environment (with my wife being a full time parent and me spending time with him when I can, and health insurance through my job instead of Medicaid) without welfare/unemployment. Yet, I know that, because the child was born about 7 months ago, the courts would probably be reluctant to take him away from his mom. What's my probability of success? Also, where would the custody case be held? I'm sure that the fact that she committed adultery wouldn't look too good for her in a Utah court.
On the other hand, the mother is delusional – she's under the impression that I'll have nothing to do with the child, no matter what I want. I really don't want to pay child support on a child that I never get to see, so signing over my rights is an option I've been contemplating. Also, with her being married, I would think that the "legal father", who I'd assume is her husband, would have to take care of this. What do you think my probability of success is here?
We started seeing each other May of last year in New Mexico. Two weeks into the relationship, she moved in together at my apartment complex (I can contact the manager to get a copy of the lease with her name on it). A week later, we found out she was pregnant. Two weeks after that, she dumped me and she left. The day after, she told me the baby wasn't mine. Seeing as the last time she had slept with her ex was a week before we slept together, I believed it. Two weeks later, after she got back from a doctor's appointment, she told me that the baby was mine, and that the nurse tech (or someone) messed up the first time in telling her how far along she was. I begged for her to come back and give having a somewhat normal family a shot (she already had an 8 year old daughter – and yes I still have an email begging her to come back), but she refused. Shortly after, she moved to Utah, where her family is. I tried to stay in contact with her but it was clear that she didn't want any with me. About two months after she told me the baby was mine, she told me, after another doctor's visit, that because she could tell the gender of the baby at that point in time, she was too far along for the baby to be mine, and that was the end of it (or so I thought). Since then, I moved into an apartment with (who was then) my girlfriend and her two kids, and have gotten married. Then, in July, someone from the Office of Recovery Services in Utah emailed me for my birthday, address, and social security number so they could set up a paternity test. She emailed me saying that they tested her husband first (yes, she was still married when the child was conceived – her husband is in the military so the benefits are great. I believe she's still married, but I'm not sure), then her ex, and both turned out not to be the father. Of course, I trust her just about as far as I can throw her, so she may be lying and hoping it's me, seeing as she's living on unemployment, has only had low paying jobs, and sees me as being made of money because I'm an engineer.
I'm not sure where exactly I want to go from here. At this time, my wife doesn't work, and I can provide the child with a better environment (with my wife being a full time parent and me spending time with him when I can, and health insurance through my job instead of Medicaid) without welfare/unemployment. Yet, I know that, because the child was born about 7 months ago, the courts would probably be reluctant to take him away from his mom. What's my probability of success? Also, where would the custody case be held? I'm sure that the fact that she committed adultery wouldn't look too good for her in a Utah court.
On the other hand, the mother is delusional – she's under the impression that I'll have nothing to do with the child, no matter what I want. I really don't want to pay child support on a child that I never get to see, so signing over my rights is an option I've been contemplating. Also, with her being married, I would think that the "legal father", who I'd assume is her husband, would have to take care of this. What do you think my probability of success is here?
