Sleeping with the Enemy

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elcassell

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Hi,
My situation is a little sticky. I have been with my husband for 20 yrs, but only married for the last 6.5 yrs. We are still living in the same house but going through the divorce process. We have a child together, she is 5yrs old. I signed a pre-marital agreement 11 days before we were to be married. We bought the house when we were together, but not married, so it is in his name even though I contributed to the down payment when I was still working. He is a very controlling individual, and didn't allow things to be in my name even after marriage. I am a stay at home mom, I don't have a bank account or access to any money, just 2 credit cards to use for groceries. gas and incidentals. I don't have access or knowledge of how much is in his bank accounts, stocks, IRA, etc. Now, he is trying to force me to sign an agreement. He wants to offer one year of rent and utilities and I have to agree to live in 1 of the 3 cities he has chosen. I am scared that if I don't find employment by the end of this term, I would lose my apartment and my child. He is becoming more aggressive by the day, and I don't have money to leave or hire an attorney to fight him. What do you suggest?
 
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Hi,
My situation is a little sticky. I have been with my husband for 20 yrs, but only married for the last 6.5 yrs. We are still living in the same house but going through the divorce process. We have a child together, she is 5yrs old. I signed a pre-marital agreement 11 days before we were to be married. We bought the house when we were together, but not married, so it is in his name even though I contributed to the down payment when I was still working. He is a very controlling individual, and didn't allow things to be in my name even after marriage. I am a stay at home mom, I don't have a bank account or access to any money, just 2 credit cards to use for groceries. gas and incidentals. I don't have access or knowledge of how much is in his bank accounts, stocks, IRA, etc. Now, he is trying to force me to sign an agreement. He wants to offer one year of rent and utilities and I have to agree to live in 1 of the 3 cities he has chosen. I am scared that if I don't find employment by the end of this term, I would lose my apartment and my child. He is becoming more aggressive by the day, and I don't have money to leave or hire an attorney to fight him. What do you suggest?


You need to start doing your research about NJ divorce laws.

STOP LISTENING TO YOUR BULLY AND BUM OF A HAS-BEEN-HUSBAND!!! :no:

Here are a couple of websites where you can start learning the truth.

Your soon to be ex-husband is a bully and a liar! :yes:

You should IMMEDIATELY (and without his knowledge) speak to an attorney. :yes:

Your husband can be made to pay your attorney's fees!

Your lawyer will ensure this happens!

You will have no immediate out of pocket expenses, but he sure as hell will!

He can also be ordered to pay emergency child support and spousal maintenance.

You also need to seek an emergency child custody order with you as the custodial parent.

Your lawyer will help you with that.

Again, your lawyer will see that this happens for you!!!



http://www.njlawnet.com/njlawreview/divorceoverview.html


Oh, that premarital agreement, don't worry about it.

This is how your attorney will attack it!

However, a premarital agreement cannot predetermine issues relating to children including child support, custody or parenting time. As to enforcement of premarital agreements, there is a three pronged test that must be addressed by a court if the agreement is challenged:

1. Was the agreement entered into voluntarily;
2. Did the parties have the opportunity to have the agreement reviewed by counsel of his/her own choosing; and
3. Was there full disclosure as all assets, liabilities and income?

If these three items can be shown, then the burden to set aside the agreement shifts to the other side (with a higher burden of proof) and the primary focus will be on whether the agreement was "unconscionable" at time of enforcement, which shall be determined by the court as a matter of law.




You have two types of alimony available to you in NJ:

Permanent Alimony
Permanent alimony is intended to compensate a spouse for an economic dependence created by the marriage. The purpose of permanent alimony is to allow the supported spouse, after the divorce, to continue to live in the lifestyle to which he or she had been accustomed during the marriage to the degree possible. Usually, when the marriage was of long duration, and economic need is also demonstrated, the courts will entertain an award of permanent alimony. The courts will not consider a permanent alimony request unless the marriage was at least ten years long. The trend is now for limited duration alimony.


Rehabilitative Alimony
The main difference between rehabilitative and permanent alimony is the temporary nature of rehabilitative alimony. Rehabilitation alimony is a short-term award. This type of alimony enables the former spouse to go back to school, or obtain some type of job training that will enable him or her to re-enter the work force. In many cases, rehabilitative alimony will consist of the husband-spouse paying for the college tuition or the job training expenses for their ex-wife.
 
There are several types of alimony available to spouses in NJ.

I did not mean to mislead you into thinking there are only two.

I think the two I referenced could be available to you.

There is one more, limited duration alimony.

As your marriage was not longer than 10 years, limited duration might be more applicable in your current circumstances.
 
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