Should I contact this man's probation officer?

[Anais Ovadiah]

Jurisdiction

New York

Hello,

My parents and I live in Suffolk County, New York.

In January 2017 my father's friend began living with us. His friend was removed from his home by his mother. During this time, my father's friend was arrested and convicted of animal neglect and abuse. My mother and I were not aware of the severity of his crimes at the time. My father also did not ask or consult my mother and I about having this man live with us temporarily or long term.

I believe this man is currently on probation. I have not looked up his probation officer.

My mother and I have expressed both to my father and to this man that we do not want him to live with us. We were not consulted about him living with us, he is not our family or friend, he has legal problems, he is difficult to live with, he has been disrespectful and uncooperative with all members of the household, he lives in poor conditions in my father's home office, and he does not contribute financially. I believe he has undiagnosed mental health and developmental problems. He has not kept consistent employment in four years.

My father does not put pressure on this man to leave and the man refuses to leave. My mother is an undiagnosed schizophrenic. She does not believe her mental health situation and does not wish to get treatment.

There have been numerous verbal fights and altercations between this man, my mother, and I. I believe my mother and him may have gotten into a physical altercation that she may have started. Last week, I pushed and hit him after he and my mother got into a fight. Since then I have been living with a friend and her fiancé. I believe my mother's name is on the title of the house that he refuses to leave and her name is on the title of the car that he uses without her consent.

Basically, I want to know if I should or can contact this man's probation officer. He is not living in good conditions, he is living at our home against half the home's will, and he is not taking steps to improve his life or stay out of trouble in the future. I am also worried there will be a more serious altercation between my mother and him in the future. I do not want my mother to get in trouble. It is inappropriate that this man is living with us.

 

[army judge]

I want to know if I should or can contact this man's probation officer.

You can attempt to contact anyone to report whatever you believe the other party should know.

You could even mail an anonymous letter (make an anonymous phone call) to report something, if that is what you desire to do.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

What exactly do you want to report about this man?

 

[mightymoose]

How is are you??

If you are a minor you might talk to a teacher, school counselor, or directly with a social worker about your concerns (both for your own well being and your mother's) .

If you are an adult you can simply move out, and so can your mother.

 

[Anais Ovadiah]

What exactly do you want to report about this man?

Hello,

This man may have a probation officer. I would like to notify to the PO that, even though he has not committed any crimes, he is living in our home against our will and in conditions that are not conducive to him avoiding committing a crime in the future. I am unsure if a probation officer would care about these issues, though.

 

[justblue]

Hello,

This man may have a probation officer. I would like to notify to the PO that, even though he has not committed any crimes, he is living in our home against our will and in conditions that are not conducive to him avoiding committing a crime in the future. I am unsure if a probation officer would care about these issues, though.

He is living in a home with permission of one of the owners. If your mother is unhappy with her husband for giving said permission she can take it up with him. If you are unhappy with him there you can move to a new home...assuming that you are an adult. Per your opening post it seems like the only crimes being committed are ones against the man. You and your mother assaulting him is a crime.

 

[sandyeggo]

Hello,

My parents and I live in Suffolk County, New York.

In January 2017 my father's friend began living with us. His friend was removed from his home by his mother. During this time, my father's friend was arrested and convicted of animal neglect and abuse. My mother and I were not aware of the severity of his crimes at the time. My father also did not ask or consult my mother and I about having this man live with us temporarily or long term.

I believe this man is currently on probation. I have not looked up his probation officer.

My mother and I have expressed both to my father and to this man that we do not want him to live with us. We were not consulted about him living with us, he is not our family or friend, he has legal problems, he is difficult to live with, he has been disrespectful and uncooperative with all members of the household, he lives in poor conditions in my father's home office, and he does not contribute financially. I believe he has undiagnosed mental health and developmental problems. He has not kept consistent employment in four years.

My father does not put pressure on this man to leave and the man refuses to leave. My mother is an undiagnosed schizophrenic. She does not believe her mental health situation and does not wish to get treatment.

There have been numerous verbal fights and altercations between this man, my mother, and I. I believe my mother and him may have gotten into a physical altercation that she may have started. Last week, I pushed and hit him after he and my mother got into a fight. Since then I have been living with a friend and her fiancé. I believe my mother's name is on the title of the house that he refuses to leave and her name is on the title of the car that he uses without her consent.

Basically, I want to know if I should or can contact this man's probation officer. He is not living in good conditions, he is living at our home against half the home's will, and he is not taking steps to improve his life or stay out of trouble in the future. I am also worried there will be a more serious altercation between my mother and him in the future. I do not want my mother to get in trouble. It is inappropriate that this man is living with us.

Your father doesn't need to ask or consult with you about moving a friend into his house. You're over the age of 18. If you don't like living under the same roof as your father's friend, move out on your own. Right now, you're doing exactly what this man you don't like is doing - imposing on a friend for some place to live.

 

[zddoodah]

Basically, I want to know if I should or can contact this man's probation officer.

Assuming he has one (your post indicates only that you have a factually unsupported belief), you certainly can contact the PO. Whether you should do that isn't something anyone here can intelligently answer and is entirely up to you.

He is not living in good conditions, he is living at our home against half the home's will, and he is not taking steps to improve his life or stay out of trouble in the future. I am also worried there will be a more serious altercation between my mother and him in the future. I do not want my mother to get in trouble. It is inappropriate that this man is living with us.

You're free to move out so you don't have to deal with the situation. As for your mother, this is a marital issue between her and your father.

I would like to notify to the PO that, even though he has not committed any crimes, he is living in our home against our will

Ok, but he's living there with your father's permission, and that's all that's needed. Also, according to you, he's not living there anymore ("Last week, I pushed and hit him after he and my mother got into a fight. Since then I have been living with a friend and her fiancé."), so what's the problem?

and in conditions that are not conducive to him avoiding committing a crime in the future.

What does this mean, and why don't you simply improve the conditions in your home?

 

[Happy Am I]

Why would you call his probation officer? What has this man done wrong? So he has a hard time keeping a job... that is not a crime. And his past criminal offenses are just that, the past. I don't condone his past, but if he is not committing new crimes then he deserves a chance to redeem himself. As far as your father consulting with you about him living in your father's home... It is your father's home, not yours, so you have no say in the matter. I will agree with you that if your mother does not want him in the home then your father should most definitely be taking her wishes into consideration. But it doesn't sound to me that this man is causing you or your mother any harm whatsoever, so if your father wants to help a friend who is down on his luck then I commend this. I would do the same thing without hesitation. You and your mother have asked this man to leave, but your father is saying he can stay... Seems to me the matter is closed. If your father askes him to leave and he refuses then legal steps can be taken at that time. But calling his PO will accomplish nothing since it doesn't sound like this man is breaking any laws, and I would very much assume that his PO knows that he is staying with you. But if your only reason for calling his PO is in the hope of him being arrested so you and your mother don't have to deal with him anymore, then shame on you.

 

[leslie82]

Hello,

My parents and I live in Suffolk County, New York.

In January 2017 my father's friend began living with us. His friend was removed from his home by his mother. During this time, my father's friend was arrested and convicted of animal neglect and abuse. My mother and I were not aware of the severity of his crimes at the time. My father also did not ask or consult my mother and I about having this man live with us temporarily or long term.

I believe this man is currently on probation. I have not looked up his probation officer.

My mother and I have expressed both to my father and to this man that we do not want him to live with us. We were not consulted about him living with us, he is not our family or friend, he has legal problems, he is difficult to live with, he has been disrespectful and uncooperative with all members of the household, he lives in poor conditions in my father's home office, and he does not contribute financially. I believe he has undiagnosed mental health and developmental problems. He has not kept consistent employment in four years.

My father does not put pressure on this man to leave and the man refuses to leave. My mother is an undiagnosed schizophrenic. She does not believe her mental health situation and does not wish to get treatment.

There have been numerous verbal fights and altercations between this man, my mother, and I. I believe my mother and him may have gotten into a physical altercation that she may have started. Last week, I pushed and hit him after he and my mother got into a fight. Since then I have been living with a friend and her fiancé. I believe my mother's name is on the title of the house that he refuses to leave and her name is on the title of the car that he uses without her consent.

Basically, I want to know if I should or can contact this man's probation officer. He is not living in good conditions, he is living at our home against half the home's will, and he is not taking steps to improve his life or stay out of trouble in the future. I am also worried there will be a more serious altercation between my mother and him in the future. I do not want my mother to get in trouble. It is inappropriate that this man is living with us.

You "believe" he's on probation but you don't know? So who would you contact? Perhaps find out if he is on probation and then call the probation office and report if he is violating probation.

You should probably refrain from shoving people before you end up in your own legal trouble.

If he's taking your mom's car without permission, she needs to call the police. That's unauthorized use of a vehicle.

Your mother isn't a schizophrenic if no one has diagnosed her. You might think she's one but you can't diagnose her and you even say "undiagnosed" and not even sure what that has to do with this.

If your mother wants him out of her house, she needs to go to the courthouse and file for him to be evicted. That's her best course.

You may want to consider finding your own place to live so you don't have to deal with all this drama among your parents. That's what I'd do but to each his or her own.