Short term marriage

[thetimmann]

Well call me stupid for getting married a third time but been living together for a few years with a lady and her two kids which she adopted. Last year she went on medical disability and against my better judgment we got married earlier in the year. Now I'm not sure of my decision. I told her I didn't want to but thought it would work ok. she is beginning to have way more problems (physical and mental) then i was led to believe and I can't stand her kids. OK...I made mistake. Can this marriage be annulled? Basis would be one her physical disability. I bought the house we live in with MY inheritance. She is NOT on the deed or loan....pre-marital assets I figure. Have a joint bank account and she has TONS of medical bills I was unaware of. Said she 'took care' of them....Not quite. I figure these are hers as well....any advice?

 

[army judge]

Well call me stupid for getting married a third time but been living together for a few years with a lady and her two kids which she adopted. Last year she went on medical disability and against my better judgment we got married earlier in the year. Now I regret it. I told her I didn't want to but thought it would work ok. she is beginning to have way more problems then i was led to believe and I can't stand her kids. OK...I made mistake. Can this marriage be annulled? Basis would be one her physical disability. I bought the house we live in with MY inheritance. She is NOT on the deed or loan....pre-marital assets I figure. Have a joint bank account and she has TONS of medical bills I was unaware of. Said she 'took care' of them....Not quite. I figure these are hers as well....any advice?

Not so fast, my friend!

The good news, you don't reside in a community property state.
But, VA is an equitable distribution state.
If the two of you can't agree on how to divide debts and assets, the court will do it for you!
Read on, I've supplied relevant portions of the process for your information.

More good news, you can represent yourself, and do not need a lawyer.
That's what they say, but when you start reading the requirements, you might feel otherwise.

Your spouse is also disabled.

Trust me, the court will look at that carefully.

Translation, this could cost you.

(Just as an aside, walking away won't cost you a dime. Hundreds of people do it every month in this country. I'm not advising you to do that, I'm just telling you that no one can make you stay. You don't need a divorce to walk away. You don't have any issue of your marriage, so there are PROBABLY no support concerns. You might want to discuss the ramifications of such a choice with YOUR lawyer. After theree strikes, I'm pretty sure you don't want to take another bat in this game, right????)

But, VA has a stringent protocol that must be followed in order to effect a divorce.

The medical bills will, no doubt, be the subject of dissension in the divorce.

Your marriage is of relatively short duration.

Yet, where is a disabled woman and her children to go?

You have a lot to consider.

Grounds

There are three principal players involved in your marriage that will also be involved in your divorce: you, your spouse, and the Commonwealth. You cannot simply break up, saddle your charger, and ride off into the sunset. Among other legal considerations, you have to give the Commonwealth an acceptable reason why you should be allowed to break up. The reason is known as the ground for your divorce. Over the years each state has enacted legislation that governs acceptable grounds.

There are different grounds for a divorce, separation, and annulment. In the case of an absolute divorce, there are five (5) grounds for a court to grant an absolute divorce:

*

Adultery, Sodomy, Buggery. No specific waiting period if residency requirement has been fulfilled.
*

Felony Conviction. At least one year imprisonment.
*

Cruelty. One year of separation for such act. Cruelty that will support a divorce is anything that tends to cause bodily harm and renders cohabitation unsafe or that involves danger to life, the person, or health. A single act of cruelty will not support divorce on this ground.
*

Desertion. One year of separation for each act.
*

Voluntary separation. Either six months with a valid separation and no minor children agreement, or one year if there is no agreement or you have minor children.

Any one of these grounds, if proved, will result in the complete dissolution of the marriage (look to each ground in order to find out how to prove that ground). You can file for divorce under more than one ground: for instance, adultery and desertion.

In Virginia, the grounds for voidable annulments of marriage are bigamy; impotency at the time of marriage; conviction of a felony prior to marriage, but not discovered until after; the wife's pregnancy at the time of the marriage with someone else's child-a fact unknown to her husband; the husband's siring of a child by another woman within ten months after the marriage; or the party's having been (without the knowledge of the other) a prostitute before the marriage. If either party is under the age of consent (16 years old) the marriage may be declared void by the court. Most annulments also can be obtained before the expiration of two years after the marriage ceremony in most cases. If you want an annulment, move quickly.
Although annulments may be granted, the preference of the court is not to annul, but for the parties to divorce. Also, any marriage that is expressly prohibited by statute is void by annulment. .


http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/va/divorce/divexpln.htm



Virginia lists several grounds for divorce in its statutes, including (1) adultery; (2) conviction of a felony and sentence to prison; (3) cruelty [usually meaning repeated physical abuse]; (4) desertion at least one year ago; and (5) "living apart", the no-fault ground, which means living apart continuously and permanently for one year (or six months, if you have no children and a Separation Agreement).

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/virginia/virginia_divorce_law


A divorce may be granted on the following grounds in Virginia:

* Living separate and apart without any cohabitation and without interruption for one year. If there are no children of the marriage, the time limit is six months.
* Adultery
* Where either of the parties subsequent to the marriage has been convicted of a felony, sentenced to confinement for more than one year and confined for such felony subsequent to such conviction, and cohabitation has not been resumed after knowledge of such confinement (in which case no pardon granted to the party so sentenced shall restore such party to his or her conjugal rights).
* Where either party has been guilty of cruelty, caused reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt, or willfully deserted or abandoned the other, such divorce may be decreed to the innocent party after a period of one year from the date of such act.

[Based on Code of Virginia, Title 20, Section 20-91]

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/usstatedivorcelaws/a/virginia_law.htm


Virginia is an equitable distribution state, meaning that if the parties can't agree, the marital property will be distributed in an equitable fashion, not necessarily equally. The amount of any division or transfer of jointly owned marital property, and the amount of any monetary award, the apportionment of marital debts, and the method of payment shall be determined by the court after consideration of the following factors:

* The contributions, monetary and non-monetary, of each party to the well-being of the family.
* The contributions, monetary and non-monetary, of each party in the acquisition and care and maintenance of such marital property of the parties.
* The duration of the marriage.
* The ages and physical and mental condition of the parties.
* How and when specific items of such marital property were acquired.
* The debts and liabilities of each spouse, the basis for such debts and liabilities, and the property which may serve as security for such debts and liabilities.
* The liquid or non-liquid character of all marital property.
* The tax consequences to each party.
* The use or expenditure of marital property by either of the parties for a nonmarital separate purpose or the dissipation of such funds, when such was done in anticipation of divorce or separation or after the last separation of the parties.
* Such other factors as the court deems necessary or appropriate to consider in order to arrive at a fair and equitable monetary award.

Separate property is (1) all property, real and personal, acquired by either party before the marriage; (2) all property acquired during the marriage by bequest, devise, descent, survivorship or gift from a source other than the other party; (3) all property acquired during the marriage in exchange for or from the proceeds of sale of separate property, provided that such property acquired during the marriage is maintained as separate property; and (4) that part of any property classified as separate property. [Based on Code of Virginia, Title 20, Section 20-107.3]

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/usstatedivorcelaws/a/virginia_law.htm

 

[Proserpina]

And you do not qualify for annulment.

You knew what you were getting into.