Served divorce paperwork after divorce was filed and served

[Zuvuya]

Jurisdiction

Colorado

Hey there, I have a complex situation to try and untangle.
My seperated girlfriend filed for divorce in California, serving papers to her husband in Colorado on the 28th of January. He is a member of the army and CA is his state of residence. After she served him the papers and they had their initial hearing in CA, in which he was assigned a court appointed attorney, she was served in California by him for divorce filed in Colorado. He filled out her ssn and name incorrectly on the paperwork he filed. He is now back in ca visiting family and has dodged all process servers for her response to his divorce attempt in Colorado, so she has missed the response deadline to his divorce petition. My understanding is that since she filed, served him first, and an initial hearing took place in CA, her proceedings have precedence and his filing in CO should be dismissed, but she is unsure of the best way to respond to his own colorado filing since she could not serve him a response in time. He has diagnosed borderline disorder and ptsd and she has a military protective order in place, so direct mediation is not an option as he is, frankly, out of his mind and cannot be reasoned with. He initiated divorce in Colorado knowing she filed in CA specifically to try and spite her/gain control/whatever.
All that being said, what is the best way to deal with his Colorado filing now that her response date to his proceedings has passed? She had an attorney here but he cannot assist with advice since the ex filed in Colorado. She is getting a statement and paperwork from the process server on Monday. Should she forward her response to the Colorado County clerks office from our county clerk, or to him via certified/our county, even though her response date has passed, or something else?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and her and I will answer any follow up questions required. Thank you so much!

 

[army judge]

My understanding:

She filed for divorce in CA
She resides in CA
She served him on 28 Jan in CO
He then filed for divorce in CO on or after 28 Jan
He served her his CO divorce pleading in CA

Please advise if my understanding, above, is correct.
If I've misstated something, please correct it.

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For the time being, address only the things I'm asking.
We'll ease up shortly.

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When and where were they married?

Were any children conceived and birthed during THIS marriage?

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Good news, maybe, this is easier than these two are making it.

If divorce is what both want, that can be accomplished easily, if someone gets them both to understand.

 

[Zuvuya]

Hey army judge,

Your understanding is correct. They were married in California about 4 and 1/2 years ago. There are no children at all.

 

[army judge]

Hey army judge,

Your understanding is correct. They were married in California about 4 and 1/2 years ago. There are no children at all.

If they're both committed to a divorce, without real estate or child concerns, why not agree to an easy, VERY CHEAP, NO FAULT, PRO SE divorce in CA or CO?

Read how:

CA:

Basics - divorce_or_separation_selfhelp

CO:

Divorce Myths | Tips | Divorce Facts | Is it True? - Divorce Source

Colorado Online Divorce


File for Divorce in Colorado - Divorce Papers

 

[Zuvuya]

He has refused, a mutually consensual divorce was her first choice but he would not consent to the divorce and refused to sign the paperwork. He physically assaulted her last year when she tried to give him divorce paperwork, then called the police and said she attacked him. He will not mediate divorce and now wants to, verbatim "do it right and divorce her on his terms." She tried to address the assault with the local pd, but they wouldn't get involved and the mps took it up to his unit, who "lost the paperwork." So, working with the army to mediate has gone no where and it's been considered a civil matter they won't get involved with, a message directly given by the command hot line Sgt assigned to her complaint in that matter. Yeah, it's a mess, but it's very common in that particular military town for things to go this way.

Right now, the issue is determining the best way for her to respond to his filing in Colorado (if she even needs to), given the info provided and the fact that he dodged service of her response and the deadline has now passed, so that she can demonstrate to the Colorado court that a divorce is already in progress.

 

[army judge]

Should she choose to ignore the filings in CO, and he were to do the same with hers in CA, one or the other would lose by default.

However, that's what they both want.

In this instance, losing amounts to winning.

Bottom line, it'll delay things somewhat, but the outcome would eventually be the same.

I just guided a guy who lives in Boston, formerly of Dallas, a divorce today. His former wife fritzed and frittered over refusing to sign off on the divorce. His persistence, along with my guidance, led to the judge telling her, "I don't need your signature, ma'am. I'm granting the divorce today anyway."

So, relax, there's no hurrying love (as the Supremes once chirped), as well as divorce.

 

[Zuvuya]

I appreciate your continued responses.
The issue is that the case has to go court because they own a home in CO, her personal property is still in it (which she needs a retrieval of assets for) and they are also both on the title of a car. Again, he will not cooperate so the assets have to be sorted in court, as do attorney fees that she has paid.

So, do you know the best way to proceed to insure that the filing in Colorado does not affect the proceedings in California? She's spent 6k on an attorney here to even get this far, an unfortunate necessity because of her exes absolute lack of cooperation.

 

[army judge]

I appreciate your continued responses.
The issue is that the case has to go court because they own a home in CO, her personal property is still in it (which she needs a retrieval of assets for) and they are also both on the title of a car. Again, he will not cooperate so the assets have to be sorted in court, as do attorney fees that she has paid.

So, do you know the best way to proceed to insure that the filing in Colorado does not affect the proceedings in California? She's spent 6k on an attorney here to even get this far, an unfortunate necessity because of her exes absolute lack of cooperation.

I doubt that she'll ever see one dime of any fees she paid to retain an attorney.

Filing in CA (a community property state) could have been more beneficial to her, if the guy had been one of the wealthy Hollywood types, a rich California rancher, oil baron, or trust kid scion of the billionaire class.

The guy's serving n the army, for goodness sake.

As far as car, unless its a Bentley, or a Rolls, it's just car worth very little upon resale.

A house acquired during a four year marriage, nothing there, either.

Her belongings, she can work to obtain.
To do so, she'd have to arrange a time to meet him, bring the police along to keep the peace, work quickly because she's only going to have 15-20 minutes to get SOME of the things.

If she wants ALL of the things, she'd have to file a legal action in Colorado using replevin.

(REPLEVIN: A legal action to recover the possession of items of Personal Property.)

Her other option would be to become a party to the divorce proceeding to his actin in CO.

Using a CA court to settle property disputes, their marital assets most of which appear to be in CO, is going to be all but impossible for a person without deep pockets. In fact, such a task won't work for a SHALLOW pocket litigant.

What does her CA lawyer advise?

I suspect it's very close to my assessment.

As I've said previously, if she wants a divorce quickly, CO is going to be far easier, especially if the soldier in CO doesn't want to play ball on her court.

Had you laid ALL of this out originally, we'd have gotten to a better answer quicker. As you go forward, always lay the cards out first, raving out opinions and assessments on the character of others.

What's useful here is:
Married four years
Marriage produced no children
Both want a divorce
He's in CO
She's in CA
She filed for divorce in CA, shelling out $6K to a CA lawyer
He filed in CO pro se
He's active duty military
They own a house and a car in CO
She has stuff in their CO house

>>> She can simply go get her stuff out of her house, if its in both names, but its best to have cops do a short civil standby <<<

If she wants ALL of her stuff, she can ask for a division of the marital assets in his CO divorce action.
Major assets are a house and a car.
She's seeking the six grand she aid her lawyer in CA
>>> She probably can forget getting six grand from a soldier, even if the divorce action went forward in CA <<<

Again, how does her lawyer suggest she proceed?

If she's a signatory to the mortgage note, the car note, that will remain a problem, even after the assets are divided.

Stop bad mouthing the husband.
People become extremely uncooperative when bad mouthed.
Play nice, look at it as acting, to get others to cooperate.
Be nice, to entice theirs to be nice, everyone wins.
Once the divorce is over, they'll never have to interact again, because there are no kids or ongoing obligations.

 

[Zuvuya]

I appreciate your time and opinions on this but the actual question about how best to respond, as in where and how to file the reply to the Colorado petition, hasnt been answered. There's no bad mouthing here, I'm trying to communicate that what you suggest is impossible in this situation because of the actions and behaviors of the other party. Assume the only possible action is replying to the Colorado petition in a way that tries to keep the California divorce intact and give it precedence. Is that possible, and how does that need to happen? If there's no advice forthcoming on the specific query regarding how to reply to a petition served after the deadline for response has passed and the petitioner has dodged the server, could the thread please be deleted?

 

[army judge]

You miss the point, mate.
People can't forum shop.
You litigate where your plaintiff resides.
In this case, one spouse resides in CA.
One spouse resides in CO.
A CA court has no ability to compel a CO denizen to respond to its authority to summons, EASILY, or CHEAPLY.

Therefore, if the CO person doesn't assent to the CA court, choosing the CO court to divorce, CO is where both parties can obtain their remedy, a DIVORCE.

How does her CA lawyer advise her to proceed?

Is it a form of what I've discussed?

There's a reason for that.

Because there are no magic tricks that exist to permit otherwise.


If, however, he's been properly served; the divorce action could proceed in CA.
How?
Because, legally, he's defaulted.
Therefore, a default judgment will issue.

Bottom line, if you want a CA divorce, you relentlessly pursue service in CO.

He has a remedy, if he's smart enough to recognize it.
She could opt to stay married, until she hits the magic ten year number, as long as he remains in the military.
If he ever retired, she'd receive 50% of his monthly retirement pay for the rest of her life.

She shouldn't broadcast that, simply wait.
She should also seek support, as long as she's unmarried and he's in the military.

She needs to have a long, detailed conversation with the lawyer she hired for the six large.

 

[Zuvuya]

That was a very helpful answer, thank you army judge.

 

[army judge]

That was a very helpful answer, thank you army judge.

You're welcome, mate.
The law is extremely complicated by those who designed it.
Hammurabi made it simple.
His construct died shortly after his passing, rebirthed in a more complex format.
The powers that rule us do all of this by design.
I've practiced law for far longer than I care to reveal.
I continue to do so because I care.
I've made my money doing this, now I try to give back.
I choose to do some if it this way, by volunteering on this forum alone.
One, because I genuinely respect, admire, and love the owner.
He allows me to be me.
I also love to help his posters, as do the other volunteers that toil away here.
I could lie to people, tell them what they want to hear, but what would that accomplish?
Nothing, except bring more disappointment into their lives.

So, hang in there, keep at it.
Once you become involved with ANY court, your prize will be delayed.
My first case began in my third year of law school.
My dad was the victim of age discrimination.
I worked on that case for seven years.
I worked alongside the associates and partners of one of this nation's top ten labor law firms.
The firm took Dad's case PRO BONO because one of my law professor's called in a favor.
The firm represented large employers, most notably companies like Ford, General Motors, US Steel, etc in their labor negotiations.
The managing partner met my dad, along with several other partners, and promised him they'd fight for him until the very end.
The case wound its way through federal district court, my dad prevailed.
The defendant, a large firm themselves, appealed.
The case went on, until all appeals were exhausted, except the Supreme Court.
The Supremes denied cert.
Finally, my dad's appellate court ruling could be enforced.
Dad received a large eight figure payout.
When the firm called my dad to their offices to receive the check, he cried.
For years the situation consumed his life.
It was the most amazing moment of my life.
I'll stop boring you, and fast forward.
Dad died three years later.
I'll always believe he lived just clean his name.
He once told me, I won, but my reputation is still tarnished.
Mom said the whole thing killed him.
Anyway, there's rarely one reason any of us do whatever it is we do, or why we pursue what it is we pursue.

Good luck, mate.