Separation Questions

[whitney]

My husband left me 2 weeks ago and he is claiming he can take everything I own. My cars are paid for with a settlement from my fathers death...Can the courts in VA make me sell the vehicles to pay for his debts...

 

[NYClex]

oh no, he cannot simply "take everything you own."

First of all, it needs to be distinguished what you own and what you two own together.

Property you inherited, for example, is your separate property, not a jointly held property.

But things are a little complicated, because you always have to watch closely how things were paid for with whose money and who signed for what etc.

Especially with debts this can become complicated.

Now I understand that this is all fresh, but if you think this situation will go towards a divorce action, then things need to be sorted out. Also be aware that as long as you are not legally separated he might create more trouble for you by using jointly held funds, credit cards etc.

I suggest two things:

-sit down and start drawing up a total list of all your possessions and debts, note when it was bought, by whom, who signed for it, and how it was paid for, with whose money. That gives you an idea what is whose.

-go and get counseling, not only how to resolve the conflicts in your marriage, but also what to do if a separation becomes necessary. A lawyer of course will be able to do the latter, but often there are charity organisations, too, who might do that for free.

 

[Mattie777]

My husband, and I went through a similar situation. He tried to take our home, as well as all our other possesions in our divorce.

Although he didn't succeed in that, he did come out better than I did in the long run.

I don't know about your circumstances, but in ours, I had been unfaithful(sorry), which made a big difference in court. He worked throughout our marriage, and I took care of our home, and child. He left me because I cheated, and I thought that because he left, I had it made.

As it turned out, he had a few witnesses that saw me, and Tommy(the other guy) out in public on quite a few occasions. The judge made us split everything down the middle(including my beautiful victorian house, and sell it. We applied it all to our debts which left only $21,000 to divide between our selves.

I've regretted that little fling for a long time now! My 12 YO son, and I now live in assisted housing, with my pay check not stretching very far at all. I miss my home, my husband(I really broke his heart), and the stability that our little family once enjoyed. Now my husband has re-married, and although I can't bare to see him, and her together, I can't really hold it against him either.

Honey, from one girl to another, make sure you've tried everything to make it work before you give in to a divorce. I don't know your situation, but if you'd like to talk about it, let me know.