Restraining order

omarie

New Member
Jurisdiction
California
My ex-boyfriend will not leave the apartment we've both rented.
I found out that he's been cheating after years of dating. He gave me Herpes and HPV, and for quite some time I've been asking him to leave. He will not and now it's escalated to the degree that he verbally threatens me.
I am afraid that I wouldn't be eligible for a Restraining order as he has not hit me, and he says that's the only reason he hasn't hit me yet.
He does say the following: "If I wanted to be mean to you, I'd throw you down the stairs (yes we have stairs), and crush your fucking head in". Also, "if you try to throw me out, I'll just burn the fucking house down with you in it".
I do sleep with the door to my room locked and have pepper spray all over the house hidden, and do not even eat food he cooks or drink coffee he makes cause I am just not sure what he means and what he claims is just "words when he's angry". I've never had anyone threaten me like this and it's now gotten to be too much. I am falling apart and desperate.
 
His verbal threats could be enough to get a restraining order. It will certainly be enough to get a temporary order. In fact, the comment about burning the house down with you in it is something you might want to report to law enforcement at the same time you seek the restraining order (assuming it was a recent comment and not months ago).
 
My ex-boyfriend will not leave the apartment we've both rented.
I found out that he's been cheating after years of dating. He gave me Herpes and HPV, and for quite some time I've been asking him to leave. He will not and now it's escalated to the degree that he verbally threatens me.
I am afraid that I wouldn't be eligible for a Restraining order as he has not hit me, and he says that's the only reason he hasn't hit me yet.
He does say the following: "If I wanted to be mean to you, I'd throw you down the stairs (yes we have stairs), and crush your fucking head in". Also, "if you try to throw me out, I'll just burn the fucking house down with you in it".
I do sleep with the door to my room locked and have pepper spray all over the house hidden, and do not even eat food he cooks or drink coffee he makes cause I am just not sure what he means and what he claims is just "words when he's angry". I've never had anyone threaten me like this and it's now gotten to be too much. I am falling apart and desperate.

First of all, please read what you posted.

I read it and found it to be alarming.

As Mighty Moose suggested, trot down to the nearest courthouse and seek "an emergency order of protection", alleging the threats of domestic violence, as well as violence to others with his "burn the WHOLE house down"!!!

Okay, this is a the link to the San Diego County Courtsite that instructs you in obtaining an EMERGENCY RESTRAINING ORDER:
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Domestic Violence
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An EMERGENCY order can be issued the day you ask for it, and your ABUSER will be gone as soon as the deputy serves him.

However, if he's as screwy as you say, it might behoove you to leave and let him stay.

You have things to think about, and talk with your mother, sister, cousin, the people you trust for guidance and support.

If he is a THUG lover, don't engage or tarry, because those critters often carry out their threats.

Good luck.
 
I agree with others. Please leave as soon as possible. You may be able to get a restraining order but it's just a piece of paper.
 
My ex-boyfriend will not leave the apartment we've both rented.
I found out that he's been cheating after years of dating. He gave me Herpes and HPV, and for quite some time I've been asking him to leave. He will not and now it's escalated to the degree that he verbally threatens me.
I am afraid that I wouldn't be eligible for a Restraining order as he has not hit me, and he says that's the only reason he hasn't hit me yet.
He does say the following: "If I wanted to be mean to you, I'd throw you down the stairs (yes we have stairs), and crush your fucking head in". Also, "if you try to throw me out, I'll just burn the fucking house down with you in it".
I do sleep with the door to my room locked and have pepper spray all over the house hidden, and do not even eat food he cooks or drink coffee he makes cause I am just not sure what he means and what he claims is just "words when he's angry". I've never had anyone threaten me like this and it's now gotten to be too much. I am falling apart and desperate.

Restraining Orders - abuse_selfhelp

Why are you still there? You need to go stay with someone else until you can figure out how to get him out. But why bother to stay there when he makes threats like that? They aren't "just words." No one just says "I'll burn the fucking how down with you in it" unless he or she is a sociopath.
 
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