Restraining Order

[bar338]

I had difficulty deciding what forum to put this in so i hope i am in the correct location.

Me and my ex-girlfriend broke up about 2 months ago, she took it very hard. Since then she has been texting me almost daily, has called me a couple of times, and asked me to meet with her to talk a couple of times (which i agreed to). However, she has become more and more desperate and she is now threatening to get a restraining order on me. Though she has no truthful grounds for a restraining order i have been told she can still get one. I have not initiated any of the contact with her and have done nothing or said anything wrong to or about her.

I was talking to a good friend of mine and they told me that if she does in fact file a restraining order (no matter how un-true it is) it could wreck havoc on my life. I am a college student, I have multiple classes in the same building as my ex-girlfriend including two lectures with her. I am wondering if there is any preventative measures i can take to ensure a false claim is not made. I can not afford to miss weeks of school while the situation is investigated. I am still not sure if she is actually going to do it but i don't want to take any chances, and she is becoming increasing desperate and emotional.

Thanks.

 

[raskalnikov]

The best bet would be to see if they offer free legal help to students. Most universities have people whose sole job is to give legal advice.

I helped a friend once who had a similar problem with a girl, but she filed a grievance with the college as well as the police. I represented him in front of the College board, and we won, even though he was guilty. As far as the restraining order went, we just allowed it, and he didn't have a problem as he understood to leave her alone.

. . . it might be a good idea to figure out what witnesses you may have to this girl acting like a lunatic, the truth only helps when you have more than the other side, and can prove it!

 

[CdwJava]

You have no control over what SHE does. All you can do is keep away from her.

I would recommend you do not text her back and do not meet with her - any of these things can be used against you if presented in the proper context.

Save any e-mails or calls she makes to you, and do not respond after you have told her you do not wish her to call you any more. Depending on the laws in your unidentified state, you may be able to report HER for annoying calls or some related violation.

If she DOES obtain a restraining order, attend the associated court hearing and bring any evidence of HER repeated contacts to you with you to court.

But, there is nothing you can do to preempt her trying to obtain a restraining order unless YOU give her the fodder ... like, meeting with her, sending e-mails or texts, etc.

- Carl

 

[bar338]

A friend of mine thought that if she were to get a restraining order that it may speed up the process if I were to leave a report with the local police department now. Basically just telling them what is going down. I'm not convinced this would really do anything, but my opinion isn't very educated. Would this be a waste of my time? or do they even do anything like that, or would they act like i'm crazy.

 

[CdwJava]

A friend of mine thought that if she were to get a restraining order that it may speed up the process if I were to leave a report with the local police department now. Basically just telling them what is going down. I'm not convinced this would really do anything, but my opinion isn't very educated. Would this be a waste of my time? or do they even do anything like that, or would they act like i'm crazy.

I don't know your state, but in mine, the police probably wouldn't even TAKE a report unless you were reporting a crime. No crime, no report. The police are not there to "document" your account IN CASE she files an application for a restraining order. Even then, if she did obtain a R/O, the police "report" is only hearsay, and you would STILL have to go and testify at the hearing AFTER being impacted by the temporary order. Remember, it is a court that issues a R/O, not the police. The court is not going to have your preemptive "report" on hand ... they will hear from you at the hearing on the order.

- Carl

 

[sunshine77]

I am going through an issue with a protective order now...And the best advice I can give you is take it to court.!! She has to prove that you are a threat to her, she will have to bring witnesses of abuse or harassment. Make sure you save all text messages, voice mails, and document any times she calls you. I would recomend that you have no more contact with her from this point on. Any contact sounds like it could be bad contact. You in no way want her to have any reasons to prove her case.