videoman40
New Member
I have to defend myself against a restraining order January 9th, what exactly is a legal defense against such an allegation? I prepared a letter for the judge, does this suffice? I am enclosing it below. What are your thoughts?
216.45.203.47
1. As I am sure you are aware, nearly half of all restraining orders are false allegations, this is one of those times your honor. This is a case where the "victim" wants to punish me for things having nothing whatsoever to do with domestic violence.
Your Honor, when our relationship ended, I was okay with the fact that J was financially ahead of the game. That she was going to keep a lot of my personal property because of our break up. I figured, let sleeping dogs lie, and just move on with life.
But this recent attempt by J is nothing more than her refusal to let go. She has stated that she needs a restraining order from me, but in the two months that have passed between my leaving her, and being served with the TRO, she has lied to both the police and to me. You see, she knew for pretty much the whole time where I was, she even visited me on occassion, we spoke on the phone every single day, and she emailed or IM'd me every single day. She was telling the police she didn't know where I was, while she was actually trying to form reconciliation with me. At the same time she was telling me that the TRO was dropped and not to worry about it. she wanted me to get an apt in New York state, and she would stay the weekends with me.
I was determined not to get involved with her again, because of my past experience with her many acts of violence. When J realized that, she used the legal system as a way to get back at me. She filed false theft by deception charges, and followed through on the TRO….all of a sudden. And all at the exact same time too.
Our relationship although I must admit was quite serious, had a lot of problems. Mostly they were related to her violent temper. In the beginning I experienced two separate violent acts of J hitting me, so after the 2nd time, I left her. She then contacted me and promised me, if I came home, she would get professional help, so I did come home. Than she tried to expose me to violence in the bedroom, which I immediately put a halt to. I also sat her down, and suggested we do what she promised…..get professional help.
She flatly refused me. I sat at the dining room table with her, totally dumbfounded. Her daughter came out of her room with a women's magazine and tossed it on the table, the main headline was "are you in an abusive relationship" take our simple test and find out now.
So I took the test first, than J took it, and she was almost off the scale for being an abuser, so she agreed to go with me to get help.
We met with her Dr where J made mention of possibly being bi-polar and also having severe PMS or I think its called PMDD, we also told him of her severe mood swings, and her having blackouts afterwards, the Dr did prescribed medication for it.
The medicine helped a lot. When she took the medicine, she was able to behave appropriately. Violence was not an issue any longer. We had fun together. We made progress. I was in love with this person.
After we started to make progress, J could not be trusted to take her medication as needed. She felt she had it under control. The Sunday prior to my leaving, I noticed her attitude slipping, so I asked her if she had been taking her medicine, and she became very agitated, and yelled at me, saying that I just wanted to keep her drugged up all the time. I asked again, on Tuesday and got the same response again.
By the time Friday came, she was all over the place emotionally speaking. We were suppose to leave immediately upon her returning home, however she called and told me she wanted me to cook her a dinner, so I did that. Than she started verbally insulting me, while throwing glasses at the wall and smashing them. We started to argue, and I told her that I had no interest in going away for the weekend with her, that it was ruined. She got very angry with me and insisted we leave right now. Which we did do, upon starting out on this trip she started to tell me how she thought I was having intimate relations with both of her children, she has both, a young boy and a young girl. I told her this was ridiculous, than she told me how she thought I was getting back together with my x wife, and x wife that I left ten years ago! The insults got worse and worse, to the point where I was fearful for my life and for hers too, she was throwing herself against the windshield, when I stopped her from doing that she proceeded to kick at the windshield until she completely broke it. As we neared the Bridge, she literally jumped out if her seat and reached across me and tried to grab the wheel to steer us off the highway at a high rate of speed.
I was very fearful at this point and grabbed the wheel with both hands tightly wrapped around it. She continued to try to steer up across traffic and off the highway, and out of instinct, I did bite her, but only in a defensive manner to safe us both from her actions.
Your Honor, I do not enjoy making my private life public, but in this case it is necessary. I have never struck J and I fear for my life. She has threatened to kill my children and myself. Two nights after I was served with the TRO she called my house 6 times, insisting I allow her to come up and spend the night with me. When I refused she made threats against my children's life, and mine too.
As far as the armoire is concerned it was a gift to me. If she wants to itemize what is owed to each other, I have a list ready. Besides my tooth, she has over $1800.00 worth of my belongings that she refuses to return to me.
Not to forget, I painted her fathers apartment, I painted her house, I power washed the outside, I remodeled the interior, taking down walls and doing electrical work. I built her a new deck, I stained the deck, I built her a new stair case leading from the street to her deck, I completely re-landscaped her yard. I rid of side yard of poison ivy. I installed a new pool for her. This is just a partial list of the things I have done for her this last summer.
216.45.203.47
1. As I am sure you are aware, nearly half of all restraining orders are false allegations, this is one of those times your honor. This is a case where the "victim" wants to punish me for things having nothing whatsoever to do with domestic violence.
Your Honor, when our relationship ended, I was okay with the fact that J was financially ahead of the game. That she was going to keep a lot of my personal property because of our break up. I figured, let sleeping dogs lie, and just move on with life.
But this recent attempt by J is nothing more than her refusal to let go. She has stated that she needs a restraining order from me, but in the two months that have passed between my leaving her, and being served with the TRO, she has lied to both the police and to me. You see, she knew for pretty much the whole time where I was, she even visited me on occassion, we spoke on the phone every single day, and she emailed or IM'd me every single day. She was telling the police she didn't know where I was, while she was actually trying to form reconciliation with me. At the same time she was telling me that the TRO was dropped and not to worry about it. she wanted me to get an apt in New York state, and she would stay the weekends with me.
I was determined not to get involved with her again, because of my past experience with her many acts of violence. When J realized that, she used the legal system as a way to get back at me. She filed false theft by deception charges, and followed through on the TRO….all of a sudden. And all at the exact same time too.
Our relationship although I must admit was quite serious, had a lot of problems. Mostly they were related to her violent temper. In the beginning I experienced two separate violent acts of J hitting me, so after the 2nd time, I left her. She then contacted me and promised me, if I came home, she would get professional help, so I did come home. Than she tried to expose me to violence in the bedroom, which I immediately put a halt to. I also sat her down, and suggested we do what she promised…..get professional help.
She flatly refused me. I sat at the dining room table with her, totally dumbfounded. Her daughter came out of her room with a women's magazine and tossed it on the table, the main headline was "are you in an abusive relationship" take our simple test and find out now.
So I took the test first, than J took it, and she was almost off the scale for being an abuser, so she agreed to go with me to get help.
We met with her Dr where J made mention of possibly being bi-polar and also having severe PMS or I think its called PMDD, we also told him of her severe mood swings, and her having blackouts afterwards, the Dr did prescribed medication for it.
The medicine helped a lot. When she took the medicine, she was able to behave appropriately. Violence was not an issue any longer. We had fun together. We made progress. I was in love with this person.
After we started to make progress, J could not be trusted to take her medication as needed. She felt she had it under control. The Sunday prior to my leaving, I noticed her attitude slipping, so I asked her if she had been taking her medicine, and she became very agitated, and yelled at me, saying that I just wanted to keep her drugged up all the time. I asked again, on Tuesday and got the same response again.
By the time Friday came, she was all over the place emotionally speaking. We were suppose to leave immediately upon her returning home, however she called and told me she wanted me to cook her a dinner, so I did that. Than she started verbally insulting me, while throwing glasses at the wall and smashing them. We started to argue, and I told her that I had no interest in going away for the weekend with her, that it was ruined. She got very angry with me and insisted we leave right now. Which we did do, upon starting out on this trip she started to tell me how she thought I was having intimate relations with both of her children, she has both, a young boy and a young girl. I told her this was ridiculous, than she told me how she thought I was getting back together with my x wife, and x wife that I left ten years ago! The insults got worse and worse, to the point where I was fearful for my life and for hers too, she was throwing herself against the windshield, when I stopped her from doing that she proceeded to kick at the windshield until she completely broke it. As we neared the Bridge, she literally jumped out if her seat and reached across me and tried to grab the wheel to steer us off the highway at a high rate of speed.
I was very fearful at this point and grabbed the wheel with both hands tightly wrapped around it. She continued to try to steer up across traffic and off the highway, and out of instinct, I did bite her, but only in a defensive manner to safe us both from her actions.
Your Honor, I do not enjoy making my private life public, but in this case it is necessary. I have never struck J and I fear for my life. She has threatened to kill my children and myself. Two nights after I was served with the TRO she called my house 6 times, insisting I allow her to come up and spend the night with me. When I refused she made threats against my children's life, and mine too.
As far as the armoire is concerned it was a gift to me. If she wants to itemize what is owed to each other, I have a list ready. Besides my tooth, she has over $1800.00 worth of my belongings that she refuses to return to me.
Not to forget, I painted her fathers apartment, I painted her house, I power washed the outside, I remodeled the interior, taking down walls and doing electrical work. I built her a new deck, I stained the deck, I built her a new stair case leading from the street to her deck, I completely re-landscaped her yard. I rid of side yard of poison ivy. I installed a new pool for her. This is just a partial list of the things I have done for her this last summer.
