Parents opening mail of 19 year old son / Tennant

[Jacob Weaver]

Jurisdiction

Pennsylvania

My best friend is having issues between his parents and him. His parents open his mail, look at his emails, and his bank account statements with out permission, his parents names are not on any of his bank accounts either. He has repeatedly told them not to do so and this has happened multiple times. He is 19 and pays rent to live in his house. We would like some advice on what to do or who to talk to.

 

[cbg]

The obvious answer is for him to get his own place and move out.

In the meantime, change the password on his email and rent a PO box.

 

[Jacob Weaver]

The obvious answer is for him to get his own place and move out.

In the meantime, change the password on his email and rent a PO box.

He just finished college and is still paying that off to his parents, so that doesn't leave him enough money to rent his own place somewhere else. PO Box's around here aren't super cheap and the nearest post office is about 15-20 minutes away. What we would like to know is what laws his parents are breaking and is there is any legal action that could be taken. At this point this has been happening for years and he would rather press charges than rent a po box.

 

[mightymoose]

His parents open his mail

Get a PO box or rent a box at UPS Store or similar business. Parents shouldn't be opening the mail, but enforcement of this in a family situation just isn't very likely. He can contact the postal inspector with any concerns, but it is far easier to have the mail sent where only he can access it.

look at his emails, and his bank account statements with out permission

Change passwords so they can't access anything online.

He is 19 and pays rent to live in his house.

He can also consider moving out. If parents want his rent money they can respect his privacy. He doesn't have to live there if he doesn't want to.

It is far easier to protect his own information and control his own actions than to compel others to do as he wishes.

 

[Jacob Weaver]

Get a PO box or rent a box at UPS Store or similar business. Parents shouldn't be opening the mail, but enforcement of this in a family situation just isn't very likely. He can contact the postal inspector with any concerns, but it is far easier to have the mail sent where only he can access it.



Change passwords so they can't access anything online.



He can also consider moving out. If parents want his rent money they can respect his privacy. He doesn't have to live there if he doesn't want to.

It is far easier to protect his own information and control his own actions than to compel others to do as he wishes.

Would it still be concidered a family situation if he's renting from them? He's concidered a Tennant of theirs rather than a dependent since he is paying rent. Therfore it shouldn't be concidered any different than a landlord stopping by and opening your mail unannounced.

Like I stated above, since he just got out of college and is paying off a college loan on a starting salary a po box or even just moving out isn't an option as of now. But things need to change.

 

[army judge]

Anyone can arrange to have their mail sent to GENERAL DELIVERY for FREE.

Hundreds of thousands of homeless people and itinerants use the service daily at no cost to the recipient.


To get YOUR mail using General Delivery, you simply have your mail addressed with your first and last name, care of "General Delivery" c/o any post office address.

EXAMPLE:













Once the item(s) arrive(s), the postmaster will hold your mail for at least 30 days.


All YOU need do is present yourself to any postal clerk during normal business hours and ask, "I'm Harry Homeless. Are you holding any mail for me in GENERAL DELIVERY?"

It should go without saying, but I'll be clear.

If you choose the FREE GENERAL DELIVERY SERVICE, you'll be asked to present government issued ID.





The USPS, GENERAL DELIVERY, explained = FAQS

USPS.com FAQs

 

[cbg]

Are you...I'm sorry, is your friend an idiot? Do you think his parents are going to continue to let him live there one SECOND beyond what it would take to evict him if he attempts to file criminal charges against them? Are you - pardon, is he under the mistaken belief that all that w)uld happen in his life is that his parents would no longer open his mail or his email? That he's just continue to pay his token rent and get his meals and his laundry done and nothing else would change? Are you - excuse me, is he, somehow thinking that they will go to jail and he will just continue living in their house?

He'd rather press charges than get a PO Box? Good God Almighty, how many kinds of a fool are you (both)?

 

[adjusterjack]

he would rather press charges than rent a po box.

That is really, really, stupid.

 

[Jacob Weaver]

Are you...I'm sorry, is your friend an idiot? Do you think his parents are going to continue to let him live there one SECOND beyond what it would take to evict him if he attempts to file criminal charges against them? Are you - pardon, is he under the mistaken belief that all that w)uld happen in his life is that his parents would no longer open his mail or his email? That he's just continue to pay his token rent and get his meals and his laundry done and nothing else would change? Are you - excuse me, is he, somehow thinking that they will go to jail and he will just continue living in their house?

He'd rather press charges than get a PO Box? Good God Almighty, how many kinds of a fool are you (both)?

Listen, I have not stated what I would do, in fact I agree with what your saying and I would have done the same. I am simply relaying the information

 

[mightymoose]

As I understand it the issue is really about stealing mail, not opening it. Unless he could justify some reasonable damages it is likely not worthwhile to pursue any action.
That it is his family is not really significant other than he is unlikely to follow through, and a prosecutor may be reluctant for the same reason unless there are some significant damages. This sounds like a matter in which he is just unhappy and has no actual damages.
That he is broke and can't afford to pay his own way is more reason for him to figure out how to get along with mom and dad. Trying to pursue a criminal or civil action against them would land him in the streets in short order.

 

[army judge]

The phrase 'No good deed goes unpunished'is a sardonic commentary on the frequency with which acts of kindness backfire on those who offer them. In other words, those who help others are doomed to suffer as a result of their being helpful.

 

[cbg]

Well, tell your idiot friend that life doesn't work that way. He's got a LOT of self-help options available to him before the Postmaster would even THINK of prosecuting.

He didn't think it was his option, did he? Please tell me he didn't think he could make the decision whether the Postmaster took any action or not.

 

[Disabled Vet]

Unreal the thought process of some kids today. That kid would be out on the street within a minute of pulling a stunt like that in my home. So glad my children both are super kids. The way to fix this is simple. Become a adult and move out of the home. Plus at 19 highly unlikely this kid just grad from college.

 

[justblue]

Unreal the thought process of some kids today. That kid would be out on the street within a minute of pulling a stunt like that in my home. So glad my children both are super kids. The way to fix this is simple. Become a adult and move out of the home. Plus at 19 highly unlikely this kid just grad from college.

Ummmm...It's possible is he just got an Associates Degree... or if he started college very young (which based on the OP's postings I truly doubt).

 

[zddoodah]

His parents open his mail

That's illegal. He can report it to the local postmaster. Don't be surprised if they don't involve themselves in a matter like this between an adult child and his parents. He can also get a P.O. Box or private mailbox (e.g., at the UPS Store).

look at his emails

Change the password on his computer (or is it his parents' computer that they let him use?) and his email account.

look at his . . . his bank account statements

I assume this is because they come in the mail. In addition to dealing with this as mentioned above, he can switch to paperless statements (my bank is constantly trying to give me money to do this).

the nearest post office is about 15-20 minutes away.

Are you suggesting that's a long way away? Even if that were an inconvenient distance (and it isn't), how much mail does your friend get on a daily basis? Nowadays just about the only mail I get are bills and my bank statements (and junk mail), and if I wanted to, just about all of that could be done online.

he would rather press charges than rent a po box.

Which I imagine will almost certainly get him evicted, which brings us back to the first and most obvious suggestion that he should just move, but you said he can't afford to do that. I'm sure your friend who's smart enough to have finished college at the age of 19 can follow that logic, right?

 

[shadowbunny]

If your friend isn't savvy enough to register for this site and ask his own questions, then perhaps it's for his own good that Mommy & Daddy monitor his mail.