Ordered to stay away

[Miranda]

Jurisdiction

Arkansas

I was married in 2016. Raised my oldest step daughter since she was 3 and she's 10 now. She is an angry child and been through so much. Her bio mom left, 1st step mom did step parent adoption and then kept her from her biological family for 1 year. I divorced my ex june 2021 because I couldn't be controlled by his ex wife anymore. Well he went back to her when we separated sept 2020. He left her May 2021. She filed against him for custody. They recently finalized their new custody agreement and I am ordered to not have any contact with the minor children in their case (my ex and I have kids too). I have never abused them, only said that my oldest step daughter needed to stay in counseling. My question is since I was not there to defend myself can I fight that being in their court order? Can I open a case about them taking that out of the court order?

 

[army judge]

I am ordered to not have any contact with the minor children in their case (my ex and I have kids too).

Good news, all you need to do is OBEY to the letter EVERYTHING contained within the existing order.

Yesterday isn't relevant.

What might have been isn't relevant.

What could have been isn't relevant.

Only what IS TODAY matters.

OBEY and COMPLY with the order, no IFS, ANDS, or BUTS!!!

Should you choose to believe you can DISOBEY the order, as it concerns YOUR prohibitions, you'll be setting yourself up for failure.

I was not there to defend myself can I fight that being in their court order?

No, the issue has been resolved.

Res Judicata, the issue has been resolved, the matter is dead.

Leave it alone, don't fret over it, pick at it, move on.

Can I open a case about them taking that out of the court order?

Why?
You'll only be wasting your time and money, let it go, let him go, live YOUR best life!!!

Think about YOUR avatar.

The order didn't kill you.
It will only make you STRONGER and eventually HAPPIER!!!

 

[Miranda]

Those are my kids siblings. He will end up taking my kids around his abusive ex wife but I'm not allowed around my step children. I can't just forget I was apart of my step Childrens lives. My children get to be around them but I cannot? My step daughters have cried about wanting to be around me.

Good news, all you need to do is OBEY to the letter EVERYTHING contained within the existing order.

Yesterday isn't relevant.

What might have been isn't relevant.

What could have been isn't relevant.

Only what IS TODAY matters.

OBEY and COMPLY with the order, no IFS, ANDS, or BUTS!!!

Should you choose to believe you can DISOBEY the order, as it concerns YOUR prohibitions, you'll be setting yourself up for failure.



No, the issue has been resolved.

Res Judicata, the issue has been resolved, the matter is dead.

Leave it alone, don't fret over it, pick at it, move on.



Why?
You'll only be wasting your time and money, let it go, let him go, live YOUR best life!!!

Think about YOUR avatar.

The order didn't kill you.
It will only make you STRONGER and eventually HAPPIER!!!

 

[army judge]

Those are my kids siblings. He will end up taking my kids around his abusive ex wife but I'm not allowed around my step children. I can't just forget I was apart of my step Childrens lives. My children get to be around them but I cannot? My step daughters have cried about wanting to be around me.

I'm a nobody.
My words aren't commands.
My information shared with you can be ignored.
That court order must be obeyed.
If you violate the order you risk sanctions and retribution from the judge.

You're an adult.
You should understand things children don't.
You wouldn't walk up to a police officer and whack her with a baseball bat.
Think before you regret your actions.
Whatever you decide to do will ONLY bring harm to you, no one else, just you.
Good luck.

 

[Miranda]

I don't think I explained this right. My ex and his 1st ex wife have it in their custody agreement: "the minor children will have no contact with the ex wife Miranda". Not me ordered to stay away. If I go around them then the person that's ordered to keep them away from me will be in trouble. Yes your words can be ignored. I'm just trying to figure out if I can fight it since I was not there to defend myself or if I could put in my custody agreement that my ex cannot take our children around his other ex wife.

I'm a nobody.
My words aren't commands.
My information shared with you can be ignored.
That court order must be obeyed.
If you violate the order you risk sanctions and retribution from the judge.

You're an adult.
You should understand things children don't.
You wouldn't walk up to a police officer and whack her with a baseball bat.
Think before you regret your actions.
Whatever you decide to do will ONLY bring harm to you, no one else, just you.
Good luck.

 

[adjusterjack]

I'm just trying to figure out if I can fight it since I was not there to defend myself

IF you can fight it, and I have no idea if you can, you will need to petition the court to allow you visitation with those children. For that you will need to pay a lawyer. So go ahead and consult one and review your optoins.

I could put in my custody agreement that my ex cannot take our children around his other ex wife.

The only way you will find that out is to petition the court to include that limitation in your custody agreement.

Again, consult a lawyer for the answer to that question.

 

[Red Kayak]

I don't think I explained this right. My ex and his 1st ex wife have it in their custody agreement: "the minor children will have no contact with the ex wife Miranda". Not me ordered to stay away. If I go around them then the person that's ordered to keep them away from me will be in trouble. Yes your words can be ignored. I'm just trying to figure out if I can fight it since I was not there to defend myself or if I could put in my custody agreement that my ex cannot take our children around his other ex wife.

I agree: it does not sound like there is a restraining order against you.

However, you are also not the legal parent, and if the legal parents have made this agreement, then for the sake of smooth co-parenting your legal children with your ex, you shouldn't knowingly make trouble.

Of course, you can try to modify your custody agreement, but the bigger thing that you should think about is: what sort of example are you? Take the high road. The woman doesn't want you around HER kids. Be respectful of that, and don't add to the drama.

 

[Miranda]

i don't want her around my kids and I tried to get it out in our original custody agreement but I left it out because I didn't want that burden on my childrens father. So she then goes and puts it in their new custody arrangement. I don't want her to be abusing my kids when she's abusing her own.

I agree: it does not sound like there is a restraining order against you.

However, you are also not the legal parent, and if the legal parents have made this agreement, then for the sake of smooth co-parenting your legal children with your ex, you shouldn't knowingly make trouble.

Of course, you can try to modify your custody agreement, but the bigger thing that you should think about is: what sort of example are you? Take the high road. The woman doesn't want you around HER kids. Be respectful of that, and don't add to the drama.

 

[adjusterjack]

. I don't want her to be abusing my kids when she's abusing her own.

Abusing them how?

If you ever see any evidence that your children are abused when they are with their father, you call the police.

Fail to report abuse when it happens the less likely anybody's going to pay much attention later.

 

[leslie82]

Those are my kids siblings. He will end up taking my kids around his abusive ex wife but I'm not allowed around my step children. I can't just forget I was apart of my step Childrens lives. My children get to be around them but I cannot? My step daughters have cried about wanting to be around me.

Legally you are a stranger. Legally you have no rights to the stepchildren which they aren't even your stepchildren anymore if you're divorced. That's just the way it is. Either abide by the court order or you're gonna just make things worse.

Worry about your children and anything you have actual control over.

 

[leslie82]

i don't want her around my kids and I tried to get it out in our original custody agreement but I left it out because I didn't want that burden on my childrens father. So she then goes and puts it in their new custody arrangement. I don't want her to be abusing my kids when she's abusing her own.

If you have proof she's abusing any kids why haven't you reported it?

 

[mightymoose]

You lack standing to seek any change.

If someone else seeks the modification you might get access to the kids, but until that happens all parties should abide by the order.

 

[Miranda]

If you have proof she's abusing any kids why haven't you reported it?

I have reported it. She has ways of lying and hiding things where no one will do anything about it. My oldest step daughter said she hits her with extension cords, I've taken pictures of bruises where she said she hit her with a brush, she cut her hair for punishment while hitting her and calling her ugly. And lots more. Dhs was called but because the mom had a good story they didn't believe my step daughter.
also I had to take their mom to small claims court because she stole my stuff and wouldn't give it back. She lied to the judge when we were in court and I knew she was lying about why she hadn't answered my complaint. I had proof. Ive caught her in a bunch of lies but she's good at hiding things and playing the victim.

 

[Zigner]

It sounds like the whole lot of you never graduated from the middle-school play yard.

 

[zddoodah]

I was married in 2016. Raised my oldest step daughter since she was 3 and she's 10 now. She is an angry child and been through so much. Her bio mom left, 1st step mom did step parent adoption and then kept her from her biological family for 1 year. I divorced my ex june 2021

Hold on...let's just make sure we have the timeline correct.

2012 - child is born
<sometime during this three year period, the following happened: (1) the child's mother "left" (whatever that means); (2) the father married another woman; (3) that woman adopted the child; and (presumably) (4) the father and his wife ended their relationship.>
2015 - you began raising the child
2016 - you married child's father
2020 - father restarts relationship with child's adoptive mother
2021 - you divorced the child's father

Is that all correct? What exactly does it mean that the child's adoptive mother "kept her from her biological family," and what is the relevance of this to your questions?

(my ex and I have kids too).

Kids (plural)??

They recently finalized their new custody agreement and I am ordered to not have any contact with the minor children in their case (my ex and I have kids too). I have never abused them, only said that my oldest step daughter needed to stay in counseling. My question is since I was not there to defend myself can I fight that being in their court order?

Based on your post #5 in this thread, this order is only binding on them and not on you. You have no standing to "fight" what they agreed to regarding their child(ren) and which a court adopted as an order.

My children get to be around them but I cannot?

Your ex's kids with other women are not yours, and you have no legal rights regarding them.

I'm just trying to figure out if I can fight it since I was not there to defend myself or if I could put in my custody agreement that my ex cannot take our children around his other ex wife.

You cannot fight parenting decisions that others made about their children. As far as your custody order/agreement, is your ex willing to agree that his other ex will stay away from your child with him? If so, then yes, you can make that agreement and present it to the court to adopt as an order. If, however, he won't agree to that, you cannot compel him to agree. You can, if you want, go to the court and seek to convince the court to enter such an order. I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.

So she then goes and puts it in their new custody arrangement.

You keep writing stuff like this as though he had no say in the matter. If it's in their agreement, then he must have agreed to it.

I don't want her to be abusing my kids when she's abusing her own.

Huh? Why would your ex's other ex have any opportunity to abuse your children? That makes no sense.

Unfortunately, you seem to have made a mad decision to get involved with this guy and have kids with him. Presumably, your kids with this guy will spend time with his kids from his many other relationships. However, you have no rights regarding those other kids, and his other exes have to rights regarding your kids.

 

[leslie82]

I have reported it. She has ways of lying and hiding things where no one will do anything about it. My oldest step daughter said she hits her with extension cords, I've taken pictures of bruises where she said she hit her with a brush, she cut her hair for punishment while hitting her and calling her ugly. And lots more. Dhs was called but because the mom had a good story they didn't believe my step daughter.
also I had to take their mom to small claims court because she stole my stuff and wouldn't give it back. She lied to the judge when we were in court and I knew she was lying about why she hadn't answered my complaint. I had proof. Ive caught her in a bunch of lies but she's good at hiding things and playing the victim.

As much as CPS is corrupt and they don't always remove kids who need to be - I find it hard to believe that if you provided anyone with evidence of abuse that they just ignored it and listened to the mom.

Small claims court is a different issue all together.

Look I've been a stepparent. It's not an easy thing to be.

But legally, the only thing you can do is report alleged abuse or urge the child to call the police the next time she is abused. Other than that, you legally are no one to those kids. The parents can put anything they want in a custody agreement. If they both agreed that you shouldn't be around their kids, that's what it is. If you want to modify your custody agreement so she can't be around your kids, go for it. That's all you can do.

It's not a protection order so if you saw the kids out and about you could say hi but he just can't let them around you when he has them.

 

[Miranda]

Hold on...let's just make sure we have the timeline correct.

2012 - child is born
<sometime during this three year period, the following happened: (1) the child's mother "left" (whatever that means); (2) the father married another woman; (3) that woman adopted the child; and (presumably) (4) the father and his wife ended their relationship.>
2015 - you began raising the child
2016 - you married child's father
2020 - father restarts relationship with child's adoptive mother
2021 - you divorced the child's father

Is that all correct? What exactly does it mean that the child's adoptive mother "kept her from her biological family," and what is the relevance of this to your questions?

Oct 2011 she was born
July 2012 biomom attempted suicide and bio dad kept kid.
Feb 2013 bio dad married another woman
July 2013 the other woman step parent adopted child
Oct 2013 other woman and bio dad split up. Other woman kept child away from bio dad and family for three months. Then they got back together
June 2014 other woman leaves bio dad and runs off with child 1 hour away and puts restraining order on bio dad. Keeps child away from biodad for a year without giving address or allowing visitation.
I came into picture Nov 2014.
He finally got to see child May 2015.
Sept 2015 child came to dad with bruises from other woman's house. Dad called cops and kept child from other woman. Other woman put false restraining order on bio dad saying he left bruises but with all the eye witnesses and evidence she was ordered to pay fines for lying. She kept child from bio dad again for 3 months. their divorce was final May 2016 where he had physical custody of the child but she got visitation and she had physical custody of their youngest and he had visitation.
Bio dad and I married June 2016
I wanted to wait to marry him but we were told by the court if I was to be around his children we would have to be married. I should not have listened to that.
November 2016 I find out that sept 2016 (3 months after marriage) he had an affair with her. I forgave him because I believe in marriage but I regret it now plus my step daughter was going through a lot so I was trying to be there for her.
2017 we have our oldest.
2018 other woman gets a job where she works all the time so we have their two kids most the time. She also moved in with live in boyfriend against court order.
2019 she took a job to every weekend and expected us to have them every weekend while she had them during week as a way to keep my step daughter out of counseling.
Nov 2019 we had our son
July 2020 I caught bio dad talking to another woman. I moved out of our marital home into my moms
Sept 2020 he filed for divorce and he changed the locks on our marital home so I couldn't get all of my things
Oct 2020 other woman/his 1st ex wife moved into our marital home
Feb 2021 they abandon our marital home taking our marital property to her rent house.
april 2021 I get a email from er saying my oldest with him is in the er. I couldn't get ahold of him because he had me blocked. She had been hurt while in his 1st ex wife's care after I had asked that my children not be left with her.
May 2021 he leaves her in a fight and leaves our marital belongings
She then keeps their children away from him for few months again.
June 2021 She filed a change of custody and tells him he doesn't have the money to fight her which he doesn't.
June 2021 we also ended up agreeing to our custody arrangement with our two children.
August 2021 oldest step daughter ends up at bio dads house with a horrible looking hair cut. Adoptive step mom cut her hair as punishment calling her ugly while hitting her and telling her other kids would call her ugly. Called cps and they did nothing. Mom is always saying that the child lies so no one believes the child.
oct 2021 child said mom hit her with extension cord. Cps called but nothing happened again.
Bio dad feels defeated and gave up fighting. Basically gave her what she wants… including in the decree that he is not allowed to call DHS on her. there you know the timeline.



Kids (plural)?? Yes we have two age 2 and 4



Based on your post #5 in this thread, this order is only binding on them and not on you. You have no standing to "fight" what they agreed to regarding their child(ren) and which a court adopted as an order.

Ok

Your ex's kids with other women are not yours, and you have no legal rights regarding them.

Yes I am aware. But having that in their court order looks bad on me and could make people think I'm abusive when I'm not

You cannot fight parenting decisions that others made about their children. As far as your custody order/agreement, is your ex willing to agree that his other ex will stay away from your child with him? If so, then yes, you can make that agreement and present it to the court to adopt as an order. If, however, he won't agree to that, you cannot compel him to agree. You can, if you want, go to the court and seek to convince the court to enter such an order. I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.
He's already told me he won't fight and won't show up to court because he doesn't have the money fight me.


You keep writing stuff like this as though he had no say in the matter. If it's in their agreement, then he must have agreed to it.
He was made to agree to it because he didn't have the money to fight her.


Huh? Why would your ex's other ex have any opportunity to abuse your children? That makes no sense.
Because he keeps going back to her which is insane and I don't want my kids left alone with her.


Unfortunately, you seem to have made a mad decision to get involved with this guy and have kids with him. Presumably, your kids with this guy will spend time with his kids from his many other relationships. However, you have no rights regarding those other kids, and his other exes have to rights regarding your kids.

Hold on...let's just make sure we have the timeline correct.

2012 - child is born
<sometime during this three year period, the following happened: (1) the child's mother "left" (whatever that means); (2) the father married another woman; (3) that woman adopted the child; and (presumably) (4) the father and his wife ended their relationship.>
2015 - you began raising the child
2016 - you married child's father
2020 - father restarts relationship with child's adoptive mother
2021 - you divorced the child's father

Is that all correct? What exactly does it mean that the child's adoptive mother "kept her from her biological family," and what is the relevance of this to your questions?



Kids (plural)??



Based on your post #5 in this thread, this order is only binding on them and not on you. You have no standing to "fight" what they agreed to regarding their child(ren) and which a court adopted as an order.



Your ex's kids with other women are not yours, and you have no legal rights regarding them.



You cannot fight parenting decisions that others made about their children. As far as your custody order/agreement, is your ex willing to agree that his other ex will stay away from your child with him? If so, then yes, you can make that agreement and present it to the court to adopt as an order. If, however, he won't agree to that, you cannot compel him to agree. You can, if you want, go to the court and seek to convince the court to enter such an order. I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.



You keep writing stuff like this as though he had no say in the matter. If it's in their agreement, then he must have agreed to it.



Huh? Why would your ex's other ex have any opportunity to abuse your children? That makes no sense.

Unfortunately, you seem to have made a mad decision to get involved with this guy and have kids with him. Presumably, your kids with this guy will spend time with his kids from his many other relationships. However, you have no rights regarding those other kids, and his other exes have to rights regarding your kids.

 

[Miranda]

Hold on...let's just make sure we have the timeline correct.

2012 - child is born
<sometime during this three year period, the following happened: (1) the child's mother "left" (whatever that means); (2) the father married another woman; (3) that woman adopted the child; and (presumably) (4) the father and his wife ended their relationship.>
2015 - you began raising the child
2016 - you married child's father
2020 - father restarts relationship with child's adoptive mother
2021 - you divorced the child's father

Is that all correct? What exactly does it mean that the child's adoptive mother "kept her from her biological family," and what is the relevance of this to your questions?

Oct 2011 she was born
July 2012 biomom attempted suicide and bio dad kept kid.
Feb 2013 bio dad married another woman
July 2013 the other woman step parent adopted child
Oct 2013 other woman and bio dad split up. Other woman kept child away from bio dad and family for three months. Then they got back together
June 2014 other woman leaves bio dad and runs off with child 1 hour away and puts restraining order on bio dad. Keeps child away from biodad for a year without giving address or allowing visitation.
I came into picture Nov 2014.
He finally got to see child May 2015.
Sept 2015 child came to dad with bruises from other woman's house. Dad called cops and kept child from other woman. Other woman put false restraining order on bio dad saying he left bruises but with all the eye witnesses and evidence she was ordered to pay fines for lying. She kept child from bio dad again for 3 months. their divorce was final May 2016 where he had physical custody of the child but she got visitation and she had physical custody of their youngest and he had visitation.
Bio dad and I married June 2016
I wanted to wait to marry him but we were told by the court if I was to be around his children we would have to be married. I should not have listened to that.
November 2016 I find out that sept 2016 (3 months after marriage) he had an affair with her. I forgave him because I believe in marriage but I regret it now plus my step daughter was going through a lot so I was trying to be there for her.
2017 we have our oldest.
2018 other woman gets a job where she works all the time so we have their two kids most the time. She also moved in with live in boyfriend against court order.
2019 she took a job to every weekend and expected us to have them every weekend while she had them during week as a way to keep my step daughter out of counseling.
Nov 2019 we had our son
July 2020 I caught bio dad talking to another woman. I moved out of our marital home into my moms
Sept 2020 he filed for divorce and he changed the locks on our marital home so I couldn't get all of my things
Oct 2020 other woman/his 1st ex wife moved into our marital home
Feb 2021 they abandon our marital home taking our marital property to her rent house.
april 2021 I get a email from er saying my oldest with him is in the er. I couldn't get ahold of him because he had me blocked. She had been hurt while in his 1st ex wife's care after I had asked that my children not be left with her.
May 2021 he leaves her in a fight and leaves our marital belongings
She then keeps their children away from him for few months again.
June 2021 She filed a change of custody and tells him he doesn't have the money to fight her which he doesn't.
June 2021 we also ended up agreeing to our custody arrangement with our two children.
August 2021 oldest step daughter ends up at bio dads house with a horrible looking hair cut. Adoptive step mom cut her hair as punishment calling her ugly while hitting her and telling her other kids would call her ugly. Called cps and they did nothing. Mom is always saying that the child lies so no one believes the child.
oct 2021 child said mom hit her with extension cord. Cps called but nothing happened again.
Bio dad feels defeated and gave up fighting. Basically gave her what she wants… including in the decree that he is not allowed to call DHS on her. there you know the timeline.



Kids (plural)?? Yes we have two age 2 and 4



Based on your post #5 in this thread, this order is only binding on them and not on you. You have no standing to "fight" what they agreed to regarding their child(ren) and which a court adopted as an order.

Ok

Your ex's kids with other women are not yours, and you have no legal rights regarding them.

Yes I am aware. But having that in their court order looks bad on me and could make people think I'm abusive when I'm not

You cannot fight parenting decisions that others made about their children. As far as your custody order/agreement, is your ex willing to agree that his other ex will stay away from your child with him? If so, then yes, you can make that agreement and present it to the court to adopt as an order. If, however, he won't agree to that, you cannot compel him to agree. You can, if you want, go to the court and seek to convince the court to enter such an order. I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.
He's already told me he won't fight and won't show up to court because he doesn't have the money fight me.


You keep writing stuff like this as though he had no say in the matter. If it's in their agreement, then he must have agreed to it.
He was made to agree to it because he didn't have the money to fight her.


Huh? Why would your ex's other ex have any opportunity to abuse your children? That makes no sense.
Because he keeps going back to her which is insane and I don't want my kids left alone with her.


Unfortunately, you seem to have made a mad decision to get involved with this guy and have kids with him. Presumably, your kids with this guy will spend time with his kids from his many other relationships. However, you have no rights regarding those other kids, and his other exes have to rights regarding your kids.

 

[zddoodah]

July 2012 biomom attempted suicide and bio dad kept kid.
Feb 2013 bio dad married another woman
July 2013 the other woman step parent adopted child
Oct 2013 other woman and bio dad split up.

This is some f***ed up stuff right here. All this in the span of 15 months? Whatever judge signed off on an adoption a year after the child's birth mother attempted suicide should be removed from office immediately. Given that the relationship ended only three months after the adoption happened, it is obvious that whoever investigated the matter did an awful job. Of course, all this is beside the point.

having that in their court order looks bad on me and could make people think I'm abusive when I'm not

First of all, who exactly do you think is going to read the custody order regarding your ex and his prior wife? Second, the only way anyone would think that about you is if the order contains findings of fact regarding you and abuse or is a complete idiot and makes wholly unwarranted assumptions.

He's already told me he won't fight and won't show up to court because he doesn't have the money fight me.

Ok, then retain an attorney to draft a modification, get your ex to sign off, and submit it to the court. Probably no reason actually to appear in court.

He was made to agree to it because he didn't have the money to fight her.

No...not having the money to fight does not require one to agree. He could have said, "no, I don't and won't agree, but I'm not going to agree." Had he done that, she'd have had to prove a factual basis for the no-contact order.

 

[leslie82]

Hold on...let's just make sure we have the timeline correct.

2012 - child is born
<sometime during this three year period, the following happened: (1) the child's mother "left" (whatever that means); (2) the father married another woman; (3) that woman adopted the child; and (presumably) (4) the father and his wife ended their relationship.>
2015 - you began raising the child
2016 - you married child's father
2020 - father restarts relationship with child's adoptive mother
2021 - you divorced the child's father

Is that all correct? What exactly does it mean that the child's adoptive mother "kept her from her biological family," and what is the relevance of this to your questions?

Oct 2011 she was born
July 2012 biomom attempted suicide and bio dad kept kid.
Feb 2013 bio dad married another woman
July 2013 the other woman step parent adopted child
Oct 2013 other woman and bio dad split up. Other woman kept child away from bio dad and family for three months. Then they got back together
June 2014 other woman leaves bio dad and runs off with child 1 hour away and puts restraining order on bio dad. Keeps child away from biodad for a year without giving address or allowing visitation.
I came into picture Nov 2014.
He finally got to see child May 2015.
Sept 2015 child came to dad with bruises from other woman's house. Dad called cops and kept child from other woman. Other woman put false restraining order on bio dad saying he left bruises but with all the eye witnesses and evidence she was ordered to pay fines for lying. She kept child from bio dad again for 3 months. their divorce was final May 2016 where he had physical custody of the child but she got visitation and she had physical custody of their youngest and he had visitation.
Bio dad and I married June 2016
I wanted to wait to marry him but we were told by the court if I was to be around his children we would have to be married. I should not have listened to that.
November 2016 I find out that sept 2016 (3 months after marriage) he had an affair with her. I forgave him because I believe in marriage but I regret it now plus my step daughter was going through a lot so I was trying to be there for her.
2017 we have our oldest.
2018 other woman gets a job where she works all the time so we have their two kids most the time. She also moved in with live in boyfriend against court order.
2019 she took a job to every weekend and expected us to have them every weekend while she had them during week as a way to keep my step daughter out of counseling.
Nov 2019 we had our son
July 2020 I caught bio dad talking to another woman. I moved out of our marital home into my moms
Sept 2020 he filed for divorce and he changed the locks on our marital home so I couldn't get all of my things
Oct 2020 other woman/his 1st ex wife moved into our marital home
Feb 2021 they abandon our marital home taking our marital property to her rent house.
april 2021 I get a email from er saying my oldest with him is in the er. I couldn't get ahold of him because he had me blocked. She had been hurt while in his 1st ex wife's care after I had asked that my children not be left with her.
May 2021 he leaves her in a fight and leaves our marital belongings
She then keeps their children away from him for few months again.
June 2021 She filed a change of custody and tells him he doesn't have the money to fight her which he doesn't.
June 2021 we also ended up agreeing to our custody arrangement with our two children.
August 2021 oldest step daughter ends up at bio dads house with a horrible looking hair cut. Adoptive step mom cut her hair as punishment calling her ugly while hitting her and telling her other kids would call her ugly. Called cps and they did nothing. Mom is always saying that the child lies so no one believes the child.
oct 2021 child said mom hit her with extension cord. Cps called but nothing happened again.
Bio dad feels defeated and gave up fighting. Basically gave her what she wants… including in the decree that he is not allowed to call DHS on her. there you know the timeline.



Kids (plural)?? Yes we have two age 2 and 4



Based on your post #5 in this thread, this order is only binding on them and not on you. You have no standing to "fight" what they agreed to regarding their child(ren) and which a court adopted as an order.

Ok

Your ex's kids with other women are not yours, and you have no legal rights regarding them.

Yes I am aware. But having that in their court order looks bad on me and could make people think I'm abusive when I'm not

You cannot fight parenting decisions that others made about their children. As far as your custody order/agreement, is your ex willing to agree that his other ex will stay away from your child with him? If so, then yes, you can make that agreement and present it to the court to adopt as an order. If, however, he won't agree to that, you cannot compel him to agree. You can, if you want, go to the court and seek to convince the court to enter such an order. I suggest you consult with a local family law attorney.
He's already told me he won't fight and won't show up to court because he doesn't have the money fight me.


You keep writing stuff like this as though he had no say in the matter. If it's in their agreement, then he must have agreed to it.
He was made to agree to it because he didn't have the money to fight her.


Huh? Why would your ex's other ex have any opportunity to abuse your children? That makes no sense.
Because he keeps going back to her which is insane and I don't want my kids left alone with her.


Unfortunately, you seem to have made a mad decision to get involved with this guy and have kids with him. Presumably, your kids with this guy will spend time with his kids from his many other relationships. However, you have no rights regarding those other kids, and his other exes have to rights regarding your kids.

Idk how the court "made" you guys get married. That makes no sense at all you had to be married to be around his other kids.

No one sees their custody order but them so no one will think you're abusive. It's not like everyone sees it.

He wasn't made to agree to anything. He chose not to figure out a way to find the means to fight for his children. It's that simple. Guys who say they had no choice didn't bother to try.