Order of protection

M

MeaganMiller

Guest
Jurisdiction
New York
I just got served with an order of protection on 12/21/2016 from my ex. He claims that I texts/called non stop and showed up to his house (All true). I was very emotional after finding out that I was pregnant with his baby and his response was for me to abort it. He became cold and distant and him not replying or answering my phone calls made me go into a panic. All of his texts messages are cold and get to the point ....such as, get a abortion now or it will only be worst for you. Or if you don't plan on aborting I don't want to hear from you ever again.

I must add that he also lied and racked up the offenses, even saying that I put my hands on me which never happened! He claims harassment, stalking, forcibly touching, strangulation, identity theft, grand larceny, criminal obstruction of breathing. ALLL LIES!!!!!
He has hit me more than once (never reported it), choked me and bit me until it left marks.

I am suppose to be leaving for dental school in January to move to Colorado and I'm just confused on what is going to happen. My court date is set for Feb 2,2017 and I will be there but, I can't fly back and fourth for this case because that will hinder me from focusing on my studies.

What are my options? Try to fight the case or just consent to it without admitting guilt? I also heard that a private agreement can also happen but what is the possibility? How will this order of protection effect me while trying to register with the state? Will jobs turn me down? Will my career as a future dental hygienist go out the window?

I must add that he is a Narcissis who seeks control and this is his way of controlling me. If I have his baby this maybe a way for him to get custody which came right out of his mouth. "If you don't abort I'll take you to court and the little money that you do have will be wrapped up in legal fees by the time I am done with you". He never implicated his self in texts only on the phone.


Ever since I got served I changed my number and deleted any emails accosicated with my iMessage. I also blocked him on all social medias. I just honestly want to know what I am up against in the next few years. Does it have a bad out look? I don't care to ever be in contact with this person because he is a terrible human being.

I just got served with an order of protection on 12/21/2016 from my ex. He claims that I texts/called non stop and showed up to his house (All true). I was very emotional after finding out that I was pregnant with his baby and his response was for me to abort it. He became cold and distant and him not replying or answering my phone calls made me go into a panic. All of his texts messages are cold and get to the point ....such as, get a abortion now or it will only be worst for you. Or if you don't plan on aborting I don't want to hear from you ever again.

I must add that he also lied and racked up the offenses, even saying that I put my hands on him which never happened! He claims harassment, stalking, forcibly touching, strangulation, identity theft, grand larceny, criminal obstruction of breathing. ALLL LIES!!!!!
He has hit me more than once (never reported it), choked me and bit me until it left marks.

I am suppose to be leaving for dental school in January to move to Colorado and I'm just confused on what is going to happen. My court date is set for Feb 2,2017 and I will be there but, I can't fly back and fourth for this case because that will hinder me from focusing on my studies.


I must add that he is a Narcissis who seeks control and this is his way of controlling me. If I have his baby this maybe a way for him to get custody which came right out of his mouth. "If you don't abort I'll take you to court and the little money that you do have will be wrapped up in legal fees by the time I am done with you". He never implicated his self in texts only on the phone.


Ever since I got served I changed my number and deleted any emails accosicated with my iMessage. I also blocked him on all social medias. I just honestly want to know what I am up against in the next few years. Does it have a bad out look? Does anyone that have had an order of protection against them can give me insight...What was your experience?

What are my options? Try to fight the case or just consent to it without admitting guilt? I also heard that a private agreement can also happen but what are the possibilities? How will this order of protection effect me while trying to register with the state? Will jobs turn me down? Will my career as a future dental hygienist go out the window?
 
If you have the baby, and he files for custody/visitation, he will get some form of parenting time whether you want him to or not.
 
What are my options? Try to fight the case or just consent to it without admitting guilt? I also heard that a private agreement can also happen but what are the possibilities? How will this order of protection effect me while trying to register with the state? Will jobs turn me down? Will my career as a future dental hygienist go out the window?

An order of protection means NOTHING except you are to avoid all contact and association with the party seeking the OOP.

The OOP will state something to the effect:
You, Sally T. Stalker, you must stay 5,000 feet away from Jimbo D. Slime-Bucket at all times.
You, Sally T. Stalker, must not call, text, email, snail mail, third party or even by carrier pigeon send messages to Jimbo D. Slime-Bucket.
Blah blah blah, legal mumbo jumbo, yadda yada yada.

Actually the OOP helps you, too.
He must also OBEY the order.
Everything you are enjoined from doing to him LEGALLY, he is also enjoined from doing same to you.
If I were you, why fight the antidote to the poisonous, venomous cockroach -aka- Jimbo D. Slime-Ball?

Unless you violate the OOP, it won't impact your life endeavors negatively.

It will keep him away from the baby, too, for some period of time.

I suggest you forget Jimbo D. Slime-Ball, forever.
You now have thinking to do, and decisions to make.
You must decide if you want to keep the baby, adopt the baby out after its born, or abort the baby.
No need to tell us what you choose to do, as only you can determine what you want to do.
What happens to the baby now is as we're told "A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE".
You are the WOMAN that must choose, and Jimbo D. Slime-Ball has no say in YOUR decision.
If, however, you decide to keep the baby, Jimbo D. Slime0Ball can eventually seek to prove his paternity in court, file for visitation, some type of parenting plan, some type of custody arrangement, and a LEGAL order of support.

Good luck.
 
An order of protection means NOTHING except you are to avoid all contact and association with the party seeking the OOP.

The OOP will state something to the effect:
You, Sally T. Stalker, you must stay 5,000 feet away from Jimbo D. Slime-Bucket at all times.
You, Sally T. Stalker, must not call, text, email, snail mail, third party or even by carrier pigeon send messages to Jimbo D. Slime-Bucket.
Blah blah blah, legal mumbo jumbo, yadda yada yada.

Actually the OOP helps you, too.
He must also OBEY the order.
Everything you are enjoined from doing to him LEGALLY, he is also enjoined from doing same to you.
If I were you, why fight the antidote to the poisonous, venomous cockroach -aka- Jimbo D. Slime-Ball?

Unless you violate the OOP, it won't impact your life endeavors negatively.

It will keep him away from the baby, too, for some period of time.

I suggest you forget Jimbo D. Slime-Ball, forever.
You now have thinking to do, and decisions to make.
You must decide if you want to keep the baby, adopt the baby out after its born, or abort the baby.
No need to tell us what you choose to do, as only you can determine what you want to do.
What happens to the baby now is as we're told "A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE".
You are the WOMAN that must choose, and Jimbo D. Slime-Ball has no say in YOUR decision.
If, however, you decide to keep the baby, Jimbo D. Slime0Ball can eventually seek to prove his paternity in court, file for visitation, some type of parenting plan, some type of custody arrangement, and a LEGAL order of support.

Good luck.


Thanks for your reply.. but I am asking how will it effect my possible career? My life in terms of moving forward.
I am relocating over 2,000 miles away so Jimbo D. SlimeoBall is the least of my worries. I spoke to a few lawyers and one told me that I should try to fight it because it will impact my chances of getting a job/ registering with the state after I complete my state boards. It will show up on background checks etc...?? I am seeing different articles that contradict one another.
 

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Thanks for your reply.. but I am asking how will it effect my career? My life in terms of moving forward. I am relocating over 2,000 miles away so Jimbo D. SlimeoBall is the least of my worries.


If you READ my post, your question was asked and answered, as to the OOP.

If you were the recipient of a conviction related to "domestic violence", unfortunately for you, YES, your life is going to be impacted NEGATIVELY for decades.

Were you CONVICTED of a crime, did you plead GUILTY to a crime?

That, mate, is far different than NOTHING OOP!!!

Frankly, with 2,000 miles of land mass between you and Jimbo D. Slice-Bucket, answering your post should be a no brainer.

I'm a patient guy, and my "new year revolution for '17" is to be more patient and less rude.

No one can give you guarantees for situations over which they have no control, and only minimal information.

Its been my experience that OOP don't affect negatively the target of the OOP as long as the target of the OOP obeys the order to the letter.

Absent any other facts related to your initial recitation of events above, the OOP in question should cause you no harm in your future endeavors.

However, as much as I dreamt of being Emperor of the Civilized World, unfortunately for me, I'm not.

I'm just another simple, Texas Hill Country lawyer extraordinaire, cattle rancher, tiny oil and natural gas baron, raconteur, bon vivant, and self styled "redneck cowboy".

Therefore, you proceed with my anecdotal analyses, my good wishes, and without warranty; YMMV.
 
If you READ my post, your question was asked and answered.

Frankly, with 2,000 miles of land mass between you and Jimbo D. Slice-Bucket, answering your post should be a no brainer.

I'm a patient guy, and my "new year revolution for '17" is to be more patient and less rude.

No one can give you guarantees for situations over which they have no control, and only minimal information.

Its been my experience that OOP don't affect negatively the target of the OOP as long as the target of the OOP obeys the order to the letter.

Absent any other facts related to your initial recitation of events above, the OOP in question should cause you no harm in your future endeavors.

However, as much as I dreamt of being Emperor of the Civilized World, unfortunately for me, I'm not.

I'm just another simple, Texas Hill Country lawyer extraordinaire, cattle rancher, tiny oil and natural gas baron, raconteur, bon vivant, and self styled "redneck cowboy".

Therefore, you proceed with my anecdotal analyses, my good wishes, and without warranty; YMMV.



Thanks! Your first reply in regards to how it will affect me was quite vague that is the only reason why I asked you again. I don't plan to go against the order I am actually for it.... just don't want it biting me years down the line.
 
Thanks! Your first reply in regards to how it will affect me was quite vague that is the only reason why I asked you again. I don't plan to go against the order I am actually for it.... just don't want it biting me years down the line.


So, were you convicted of "domestic violence"?
Is there more to this than a simple OOP?
 
So, were you convicted of "domestic violence"?
Is there more to this than a simple OOP?


No I was never arrested or anything because I never once put my hands on that guy. It was the other way around but I was too dumb/In love to report him. (I do still have photos of what he did to my arm/bite marks). Now I'm just sitting here going over how stupid I was because he "now wants nothing to do with me or any child". He's a selfish vile human being and the real victim (me) is left with an OOP.
As they all say " you live and you learn".
 
So, were you convicted of "domestic violence"?
Is there more to this than a simple OOP?


The only reason I would fight it is to clear my name since he lied saying that I did all of those extra offenses. He wouldn't be able to show proof of any of them because they're all false. Only thing I ever did was text/call/voicemail and pulled up to his house which I know is wrong now. I made him feel too good about himself.
 
No I was never arrested or anything because I never once put my hands on that guy. It was the other way around but I was too dumb/In love to report him. (I do still have photos of what he did to my arm/bite marks). Now I'm just sitting here going over how stupid I was because he "now wants nothing to do with me or any child". He's a selfish vile human being and the real victim (me) is left with an OOP.
As they all say " you live and you learn".


If you were attacked, you might still be able to make an official police report.

If you sought medical care, have photographic proof of being beaten, have people who can corroborate the attack on you; the police might be able to do something to see that he pays for what he did.

You can also file a small claims case to seek reimbursement for the beating he administered to you.

To do so, however, you must have ACTUAL out of pocket expenses, such as physician fees, prescription costs, hospital or clinic costs, etc...

Unremibursed insurance fees will work, too.

You might want to talk to a battered women's group or shelter for counseling and advice.
In addition, it can't hurt to speak to counselors that assist unmarried females who find themselves to be pregnant, to assist you in your choice.

Bums and brutes like the one that tagged you, ma'am, will seek to establish paternity via DNA testing just to keep rubbing feces in your face.

Today the ball is in your court.
Once the baby is born, he can obtain rights to the child, that will make the next 20 years a living nightmare for you and the baby.
Read this forum to see what scum like that guy do to women such as yourself.
If you ever try to establish a new relationship, crumbs like that savage work to destroy any happiness you try to obtain, and also work to destroy the child's happiness, too.

Those brutes are one man life destroyers.
 
If you were attacked, you might still be able to make an official police report.

If you sought medical care, have photographic proof of being beaten, have people who can corroborate the attack on you; the police might be able to do something to see that he pays for what he did.

You can also file a small claims case to seek reimbursement for the beating he administered to you.

To do so, however, you must have ACTUAL out of pocket expenses, such as physician fees, prescription costs, hospital or clinic costs, etc...

Unremibursed insurance fees will work, too.

You might want to talk to a battered women's group or shelter for counseling and advice.
In addition, it can't hurt to speak to counselors that assist unmarried females who find themselves to be pregnant, to assist you in your choice.

Bums and brutes like the one that tagged you, ma'am, will seek to establish paternity via DNA testing just to keep rubbing feces in your face.

Today the ball is in your court.
Once the baby is born, he can obtain rights to the child, that will make the next 20 years a living nightmare for you and the baby.
Read this forum to see what scum like that guy do to women such as yourself.
If you ever try to establish a new relationship, crumbs like that savage work to destroy any happiness you try to obtain, and also work to destroy the child's happiness, too.

Those brutes are one man life destroyers.


He would slap/choke me, bite me and then try to gas light me. Made me question myself/reality. Cover it up with being intimate right after too. I need a lot of therapy after all of this.
 
He would slap/choke me, bite me and then try to gas light me. Made me question myself/reality. Cover it up with being intimate right after too. I need a lot of therapy after all of this.

Gaslighting, huh? I haven't heard that term in a few years.

Yeah, figures.

For the dear reader, here's a great article, no the best article ever, explaining "gaslighting":
..
..
10 Things I've Learned About Gaslighting As An Abuse Tactic
..
..
 
If it's been awhile since he hit you and you have no proof, I wouldn't bother filing a police report as it will go nowhere.

I was told when I got a protection order on my ex that I could talk to him but I was just setting him up for failure if he answered me. But I wouldn't have gotten in any trouble if I had contacted him during the time that order was in effect.
 
If it's been awhile since he hit you and you have no proof, I wouldn't bother filing a police report as it will go nowhere.

I was told when I got a protection order on my ex that I could talk to him but I was just setting him up for failure if he answered me. But I wouldn't have gotten in any trouble if I had contacted him during the time that order was in effect.


I got a brand new number and blocked him everywhere so that cannot happen
 
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