not seeking help in fear of abusing parent facing consequences

[Lemia]

Jurisdiction

California

Parent repeatedly touches teenager in her sleep. Other parent ignores her. The teenager does not want to speak to the proper authorities because she fears consequences for the offending parent. She is suffering and can't sleep at night.

The offending parent has apparently ceased the activities after a threat by the teenager to report to child protective services. The teenager is still suffering. I want her to at least have the chance to talk to someone qualified about it.

If she tells, say, a social worker at her school, what actions are going to be done to the offending parent? Is the social worker obligated to take actions, e.g. in the form of a report to the police? What would those actions look like if all the evidence there is are the teenager's words?

What can I, someone who does not live in the United States and only knows her over the internet, do to help?

 

[KatDini]

You can do nothing.

 

[cbg]

You can do nothing.

Teens are all little drama queens and you don't know with any kind of certainty what is actually happening. To put it bluntly, you don't even know if this is actually a teenager you're talking to. I see a couple of major holes in the story you're being told just from your description.

 

[Lemia]

Can she tell the social worker at her school without having to be scared that the social worker is going to involve the parent or anything more than a talk with them? Do you have reading material I can show her to assure her that nothing is going to happen to the parent? She is very smart.

I know in fact that she is a teenager. I might even have a way to contact the social worker.

 

[shrinkmaster]

"You" can do nothing! It seems the teen has taken some action causing the offense to stop. YES the teen can report this to a teacher, counselor etc. What will happen is it will be reported to Children's services and an investigation will take place. After that no one can say

 

[army judge]

If she tells, say, a social worker at her school, what actions are going to be done to the offending parent?

A teacher, a physician, a school nurse, a social worker are all "mandated reporters".

Who is a mandated reporter In California?
========================
The Child Abuse and Neglect Reporting Act requires certain professionals to report ALL actual or suspected instances of child abuse and/or child neglect.

A "child," under this statute, is defined as any person under the age of 18.

Professionals required to report under CANRA are referred to as "mandated reporters."

Child Abuse Identification & Reporting Guidelines - Child Abuse Prevention Training and Resources (CA Dept of Education)

Mandated Reporting - San Diego County District Attorney

FAQ | Child Abuse Mandated Reporter Training

What can I, someone who does not live in the United States and only knows her over the internet, do to help?

You can report what you know the one of the agencies noted above.

You can send anonymous correspondence to the county sheriff or local police agency where the child resides.

However, you have no idea with whom you are communicating via the internet.

You might THINK you're communicating with a precocious, precious 15 year old girl.

In reality you could be chatting with a 65 year old convicted pedophile, a 45 year old criminally insane murderer, a 10 year old budding hacker, a gaggle of 19 year old fraternity brothers that like to prank the unsuspecting, or even a 45 year old undercover detective trying to root out human trafficking.

One must be very careful when communicating via the interwebz.

 

[zddoodah]

I'm responding based on the implication that what happened was sexual in nature.

If she tells, say, a social worker at her school, what actions are going to be done to the offending parent?

Such a person would be legally obligated to report it to the police and/or child protective services.

What would those actions look like if all the evidence there is are the teenager's words?

Not really sure what this question means, but we have no way of intelligently predicting the outcome.

What can I, someone who does not live in the United States and only knows her over the internet, do to help?

We have no idea what abilities you have. The smart thing for you to do would be to stay as far away from this as possible.

you don't know with any kind of certainty what is actually happening. To put it bluntly, you don't even know if this is actually a teenager you're talking to.

Agree.

 

[justblue]

Can she tell the social worker at her school without having to be scared that the social worker is going to involve the parent or anything more than a talk with them? Do you have reading material I can show her to assure her that nothing is going to happen to the parent? She is very smart.

I know in fact that she is a teenager. I might even have a way to contact the social worker.

Google the term "mandated reporter" for the state in question.

If her parent has/is sexually abusing her, That parent NEEDS to be reported to the police. It is very likely s/he is/has abused other children.

 

[cbg]

Can she tell the social worker at her school without having to be scared that the social worker is going to involve the parent or anything more than a talk with them? Do you have reading material I can show her to assure her that nothing is going to happen to the parent? She is very smart.

I know in fact that she is a teenager. I might even have a way to contact the social worker.

No, she can't. No, I don't.

Okay, Prove it.

 

[Red Kayak]

Can she tell the social worker at her school without having to be scared that the social worker is going to involve the parent or anything more than a talk with them?

It depends on what they hear.

If what they hear is that your friend is being abused - sexually or otherwise - then they are mandated to report the abuse to the proper authorities. One does not confront the parent in such a case, one tries to remove the child from the dangerous situation.

If what they hear is that your friend is at a stage in her development where she is uncomfortable about touching that is usually considered non-abusive - say, stroking her hair and tucking her in, then it would be hoped that they would work with her at maturely communicating what her boundaries are. (<-- A child who at 7 wants constant hugs an attention usually wants their own space and lots of it as a teen! For the child, an eon has passed, but the parent might still remember the 7 year old.)

Do you have reading material I can show her to assure her that nothing is going to happen to the parent? She is very smart.

How can anyone promise that "nothing is going to happen to the parent"?! We don't now that. e don't know if the girl is being sexually molested, beaten, or just being given a "Good Night" peck on the cheek.

If she were smart, she would not be "confiding" in you.

I know in fact that she is a teenager. I might even have a way to contact the social worker.

Then contact her school and "drop a dime" on the situation.​

 

[leslie82]

Parent repeatedly touches teenager in her sleep. Other parent ignores her. The teenager does not want to speak to the proper authorities because she fears consequences for the offending parent. She is suffering and can't sleep at night.

The offending parent has apparently ceased the activities after a threat by the teenager to report to child protective services. The teenager is still suffering. I want her to at least have the chance to talk to someone qualified about it.

If she tells, say, a social worker at her school, what actions are going to be done to the offending parent? Is the social worker obligated to take actions, e.g. in the form of a report to the police? What would those actions look like if all the evidence there is are the teenager's words?

What can I, someone who does not live in the United States and only knows her over the internet, do to help?

If she tells anyone at school in the administration they are obligated to report it. I'm pretty sure all school officials (like teachers, principals, social workers, counselors) are mandated reporters.

No one can know what a police investigation into this would look like. You're outside the US you can't really do anything.

If you only know this person on the Internet, how do you know anything that they are telling you is true? They could be slinging some bs your way. I would block that person and not talk to them anymore.

 

[leslie82]

Can she tell the social worker at her school without having to be scared that the social worker is going to involve the parent or anything more than a talk with them? Do you have reading material I can show her to assure her that nothing is going to happen to the parent? She is very smart.

I know in fact that she is a teenager. I might even have a way to contact the social worker.

If it's legit and she tells the social worker, pretty sure the social worker is mandated to report.

 

[army judge]

Drop a dime
Help defeat crime
Put yourself at ease
Go on eat some cheese
Put a stop to that
Time for you to rat!