Modifying visitation when I have full custody

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rtmn

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I am a divorced father of two boys (10 and 13) and I have been having nothing but problems since my ex moved back to town. When my boys are there it is a "free for all" - homework is not important, showers are not required, and whatever they do is "ok" with mom. I have accepted that there is nothing I can do with what happens at her house as long as it does not present direct harm to them; my problem is that both of my boys are getting behind in school work. I have talked to her and she is so buys with being the "friend" all of the time, she refuses to enforce the things that are important when they are there. I have full custody of the boys and I have agreed to let her have every other weekend and one day during the week. What I am seeing is that on her weekends no school work is getting done. Every Monday I find my self riding the kids to make up what they didn't do during the weekend at their mom's house. This is affecting their grades (especially my older boy)..I am getting beyond frustrated with this situation and I am thinking about taking her Sundays back now to ensure that homework gets done and we are not trying to cram all week between sports and schoolwork to catch up. When I threatened doing this, she stated that she was going to take me back to court and get visitation back from me.
I think I am justified in doing this...ultimatly, it is my boy's responsibility to take care of their business, but when they are in an environment where anything goes- they are taking advantage of this situation at the expense of their school and extra-cirricular activities.

My question is: Can I modify this visitation with a phone call or letter or am I going to have to go to court since I have agreed with her a visitation schedule?
 
You need to abide by the court visitation schedule until you get it changed.

You can request through the courts a drop off by noon to ensure homework gets done. I am not sure your chances of getting this.

I would email your ex wife of your intention if she does not get her act together in having the boys get their homework done. That is part of being a mom. If she refuses to make sure the boys homework gets done, then you are going to file for a change in visitation.

You might have a talk with the boys too, and punish them for not doing their homework. Maybe you can get them to do it on their own. Tell them that when they are with their mom, they need to have all their homework done by the time they get home, or they need to do it before she gets them on Fridayor whatever time. If they come home sun night and their homework is not done, then take away priveledges. Computer, phone, friends, games whatever.

Good luck
 
True, you can't just modify visitation on your own it has to be done through the courts. I know in the visitation papers we have it states that the visiting parent has to make sure homework is done. Check your paperwork again to see if it says that. I think it would be worth it to take her to court to see if something could be done about it. At the very least ask the judge to warn her that if she doesn't make sure homework is done that her visitation will be cut short. I know it costs a lot to go to court but at least you would find out this one time what can be done about the situation and if the judge does nothing then at least you will know. Judges think school is very important so I would think they would do something about it.
 
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