The National Minimum 21 Drinking Age Act specifies that you must be 21 or older to purchase or publicly posess alcohol. Neither marriage nor a court ordered emacipation will alter that. Most states specifically prohibit anyone under 21 drinking alcohol.
ok lets say my wife who is 22 wants to go out to a bar tonight or maybe a 21 and up club... i know there is an exceptions to entering cause i am leaglly married to her.. before the DMV's would put a blue background to let them know i was of leagality to enter ( i dont know if that made any sense..) ???? is this still done at DMVs or do i just need to stay home while my wife goes out to have fun?
There is no exception to the National Minimum Age Act as it is written.
If you read the act is it very specific in what it outlaws. So there are some loopholes which vary by state (some states didn't close the loopholes with their own legislation). There may be some wiggle room in the phrase "publicly possess". And you'll notice the act doesn't say anything about consumption (though most states have laws which outlaw consumption as well). Try contacting your states Attorney General's Office for specifics.
I don't know what your license looks like, the doorman shoudl read your birthdate. If you're under 21 the laws still apply. Call your AGO to see what the loopholes are.