Is this judge being unethical?

[5isenough]

Moved out of state, returned, petitioned court to modify visitation. I followed the state's self-help instructions to the letter, sent in all required paper work. After sending in a Notice for Hearing, I called judge's asst. for a hearing time/date. Aggravated, she told me not to call again and to "sit and wait", nothing happened for several months. I was told by a self help clerk that the judge would not move on my case until I hired an atty. and that this particular judge was prejudice towards pro se, especially pro se women. Before I started the process, I did contact a local atty. he told me that he "could" take my money but wasn't going to b/c he already knew the outcome, and that the judge had no sympathy for women. I was told the same thing by several county/city workers who have to deal w/ this particular judge on a regular basis. The self help clerk gave me the address for the states JQC and told me to write them and tell them what had been going on. They wrote back and told me that is was a judicial matter. Within 2 days of receiving that letter, my ex's lawyer filed a motion for mediation. I filed back asking that the courts allow us to mediate through the court's family mediation program due to cost. I never received a response but the ex's lawyer's motion was granted and ordered. The same self help clerk advised me to file a Motion to Recuse and stated that the judge was bias, that of course was denied. Per his atty's suggestion, my ex has agreed to pay for my portion of the mediation. In the event of an impasse, did I just put the noose around my own neck for the judge to kick the chair out from underneath me if this goes in front of him? Is there anything I can do or is this my bad for taking the advice of a county courthouse clerk? Either way, whether I went about this with much tenacity (which I did) or just took it and gave up, I think the outcome would have been the same thus far.