im not her biological father but what to have the rights as one

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bowen91

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me and My wife have talked about this a few times but we keep hitting the same problem, our childs biological father. I married my wife while she was pregnant and preceded to provide for her and the child until other issuses regarding her family arose. The biological father wanted nothing to do with the child and she doesnt want him in the childs life. I took a big risk on my own part by placing my name on the birth certificate. I love this child like she is mine and my wife, but now the father is wanting to be in the childs life. The child acknolwdges me as her father but she is only 8 months old. My wife had the birth certifricate amended without needing my consent under the pretense of having his rights taken away for abandonment. I could have been then bad person in this and never had anything to do with either my wife (was not married at the time, but married before the birth of the child) or the child but i care too much for them both.. please someone give me some type of hope in the situation. For more information ask for my email to completely understand the situatuion with Her family.
 
Right now, you are legally the father. And seriously... an 8 month old acknowledging you're her father? Puh-lease.

§ 20-49.10. Relief from legal determination of paternity.

An individual may file a petition for relief and, except as provided herein, the court may set aside a final judgment, court order, administrative order, obligation to pay child support or any legal determination of paternity if a scientifically reliable genetic test performed in accordance with this chapter establishes the exclusion of the individual named as a father in the legal determination. The court shall appoint a guardian ad litem to represent the interest of the child. The petitioner shall pay the costs of such test. A court that sets aside a determination of paternity in accordance with this section shall order completion of a new birth record and may order any other appropriate relief, including setting aside an obligation to pay child support. No support order may be retroactively modified, but may be modified with respect to any period during which there is a pending petition for relief from a determination of paternity, but only from the date that notice of the petition was served on the nonfiling party.

A court shall not grant relief from determination of paternity if the individual named as father (i) acknowledged paternity knowing he was not the father, (ii) adopted the child, or (iii) knew that the child was conceived through artificial insemination.

(2001, c. 814.)
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https://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?000+cod+20-49.10
 
Please show me respect. She identifies with my photos and voice. But I thank you all the same for the information.
 
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Yes hon, but she'll also identify with anyone else who is in regular contact. The mailman. Whoever.

The point was, the courts would find such a claim to be ridiculous.

Now. If you and Mom are the legal parents, expect Bio to bring forth a paternity suit. Expect the court to hear the suit, and to arrange DNA testing. If Bio establishes paternity, you only have as many rights as those bestowed upon you by either parent. In other words, if you are no longer the legal parent, and you and Mom split, you're at her mercy.
 
In less than a year and a half, mom broke up with the guy who impregnated her, met and married you, gave birth and raised an 8 month old child. At best, you have been in the picture for 16 months. You don't get points for choosing to step into the role you did. It may be the way you phrased it but it sounds like you want accolades sacrificing and starting a relationship with a pregnant woman and playing Dad. That attitude is not going to get you anywhere when and if the biological father steps up. Bio dad can't possibly have been out of the picture all that long.
 
Right now you are the child's "legal Father". Be happy with that for now. If Bio Dad wants to pursue this you nor Mom can stop him nor should you morally. Wait and see how much time and effort he puts into this. He will need file a paternity motion which will require DNA testing (he might have to pay for that). then there is court. Fighting this wont help with DNA test results. However Mom (not you) can and should request child support and that support should include past 8 months. Once Bio Dad knows he will likely need to fork out some cash (not just play Dad) he might change his mind. You (as a stepparent) will have no real role in this and for Mom's sake you should not try. Mom might also discuss Bio Dad giving up his rights and allow a Step Parent adoption (more here) http://www.parentnook.com/step-parent-adoptions/ and explain to Bio Dad he would then owe no support and Mom will not ask for back support in exchange (providing she has not gotten and welfare, Medicaid, Food stamps etc for child in last 8 months. Regardless how this plays out you will have no real role in this. Just remain the loving Dad you have been. I have a daughter (step daughter) whose Father has NEVER been in picture (split before she was born) and I have raised since she was 3 (shes 18 now and in College). I always knew he could jump in at any time and try to be a Father but he choose not to. I am her Dad and if he showed up today she would tell him to take a hike shes has a Dad!
 
shrinkmaster said:
Right now you are the child's "legal Father". Be happy with that for now. If Bio Dad wants to pursue this you nor Mom can stop him nor should you morally. Wait and see how much time and effort he puts into this. He will need file a paternity motion which will require DNA testing (he might have to pay for that). then there is court. Fighting this wont help with DNA test results. However Mom (not you) can and should request child support and that support should include past 8 months. Once Bio Dad knows he will likely need to fork out some cash (not just play Dad) he might change his mind. You (as a stepparent) will have no real role in this and for Mom's sake you should not try. Mom might also discuss Bio Dad giving up his rights and allow a Step Parent adoption (more here) http://www.parentnook.com/step-parent-adoptions/ and explain to Bio Dad he would then owe no support and Mom will not ask for back support in exchange (providing she has not gotten and welfare, Medicaid, Food stamps etc for child in last 8 months. Regardless how this plays out you will have no real role in this. Just remain the loving Dad you have been. I have a daughter (step daughter) whose Father has NEVER been in picture (split before she was born) and I have raised since she was 3 (shes 18 now and in College). I always knew he could jump in at any time and try to be a Father but he choose not to. I am her Dad and if he showed up today she would tell him to take a hike shes has a Dad!
Click to expand...

Why would Mom get child support back to birth? This isn't a case where there was no legal father (and hence, child support could go back to birth); this is disestablishing an already-presumed father. The clock doesn't get reset in this circumstance.
 
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