Im 15 & Pregnant..Can they make me go to my fathers house?

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chrissy123

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I am 15 & 7 months pregnant. My parents are in a nasty custody battle. I have a saftey plan from DCF saying I do not have to go to my dads house as long as the verbal abuse case is open. But if the Judge awards him custody Will I have to go to my dads house & bring my child into an unhealthy enviroment?
My father has told me mutiple times he will do nothing for my child and will not provide him with anything, he also says the same about me. I dont even have a room at his house I have to sleep on the couch. My father verbally abused me and I dont want my child in that situation with those evil people. I would like to live with my mom all the time & only go see my dad when I feel like it. Is that possible or will they make me go there even though I get treated like a dog there? My father doesnt even feed me when we go out to eat, He throws my shoes outside and puts eveyone elses in the utility room, He calls me names and tells me my baby is going to be stupid because I am stupid, He constantly threatens to hit me & so does my brother. I do not want to bring my child into that enviroment but im scared our court system is going to make me because I am underage. Please Help.
 
Your father is not obliged to support YOUR child. Where is the child's father?

If your father gets custody, you will be living with him. At your age your wishes would normally be considered in a custody battle but since you're pregnant it could be argued that the parent with whom you were living didn't have as much control of you as perhaps s/he should have done.

Let's hope your Mom has a good attorney.

And really - your child's father should be supporting the child, not YOUR parents.
 
But if the Judge awards him custody Will I have to go to my dads house & bring my child into an unhealthy enviroment?

Yes.
However, if the court believes it is not a safe environment it is unlikely you would be sent there.
You are not in a position to be very picky. You can not care for yourself or for your child. Take what you can get and make the best of it.
 
OP, you don't get to be heard. You also don't have a choice in this matter.

Now, OP, you're gonna hate this. Keep pushing and you may find that your baby will be taken into state custody, control, and care.

You may be 15, heck you could even be 16; but you're still a legal incompetent. Beyond that, you're showing signs of delinquency and incorrigibility. You could find yourself locked up in a juvenile facility or foster care. Ask for help.

Hang in there. In less than 3 years you'll be an adult. Unless, you get caught up in the system. Then you could be under state control until you're 21!!!!
 
Army judge makes an excellent point. It might not be one you want to hear. Proserpina also asks a good question and further highlights this point - if the child's father can't help you at all, you're all out of options. I know you don't want to hear this but nobody but yourself put you in the position to need to support a child. I'm assuming that you're either too far along with the pregnancy or have decided to have the child. Whatever your reasons are, you have to do the best you can to deal with the consequences while remembering that any help you get you should be grateful for. The answers for you don't concern the law but that of practicality.
 
I dont expect any one of my parents to support my child...thats my job I know that. And the father of the child is not around and most likely wont be. My dad abuses me & Already calls my baby names and i want to keep him out of that enviroment. My mom cares for me & is going to help me out alot with my child while i can go to school. I am not a slacker I am actually In high school & college right now. I made a mistake I am a teenager it happens. I dont see why the state would take my baby away from me I am not on drugs I do not drink & I have everything a baby could ever need with my mom.
 
Sorry you misunderstood me...I dot expect my father to support my child in any way. What I mean was he isnt going to treat him right & is going to be nasty toward him. and the Childs father decided he wasnt going to be in the childs life. & when i got pregnant I was living with both parents.
 
This is really up to the courts to decide. Unfortunately there's really not an awful lot else we can do at this point. Custody of you will be decided in court, and then you'll live where the court determines.

Once your baby is born, you can file to establish paternity and custody, visitation and child support.
 
I dont expect any one of my parents to support my child...thats my job I know that. And the father of the child is not around and most likely wont be. My dad abuses me & Already calls my baby names and i want to keep him out of that enviroment. My mom cares for me & is going to help me out alot with my child while i can go to school. I am not a slacker I am actually In high school & college right now. I made a mistake I am a teenager it happens. I dont see why the state would take my baby away from me I am not on drugs I do not drink & I have everything a baby could ever need with my mom.
I appreciate that you have the presence of mind to appreciate your own situation. No need to panic, nobody is taking away your child right now but you really do need to have a plan.

I'm impressed that you're both in college and high school - I am actually a three year high school dropout (went to college early admissions. :) ) Being 15, I'm guessing you're in high school and taking an achievement course or something of that nature. This still means you're in school full time and probably dedicating a few more hours than other students too. For the foreseeable future, with or without a child, that leaves you with limiting working hours. How do you plan to support yourself? We haven't even spoken about the child.

Second - you might not want to hear this, but if your child's father doesn't want to take an active part in his/her life, that's fine. Financially, you'd better wise up and understand that you cannot afford to give him the free pass. Who will pay for the food, shelter, care, supplies and medical needs of the child?

Third - who will watch the child while you and your mother work (when you can work) to support yourselves?

I see that the child hasn't been born yet and just realized you're in your last trimester. Right now you can speak about mistakes you've made because you're only caring for yourself. In two months from now you can expect your world to change even more dramatically. This isn't meant to scare you but to acknowledge that you haven't really appreciated the full extent as to the burden you need to climb. I find it difficult enough to find time to make sure a pet terrier can be walked every day (so I have fish. :) ) A child is a whole new and profound responsibility. I understand the terrible tug of war your parents are going through - but your focus should be on minimizing the strife and trying make the best of the situation. Right now, from what I can see, you're at the mercy of what your parents can do for you since you're not in any real position to take care of yourself and a child.
 
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