How screwed am I?

[d.marcum]

Jurisdiction

Illinois

Divorced in January of 2012 in South Carolina, the ex took custody of our 18yr old (not yet graduated from High School), our 15yr old and our 8yr old. At this time I was ordered by South Carolina courts to pay $871 in child support for all three children (until the 18th birthday or high school graduation whichever is later) and $800 in alimony each month.

Decree states only this: Child support shall continue for each child until the child reaches the age of 18 or graduate from high school whichever is later. I gives no mention of instruction about how to do this.

In May of that year, our 18yr old graduated from high school. Out of generosity (and her desperate pleas) I continued to pay the full amount. The summer of that year, I was offered a position in northern Indiana. We talked about it, and agreed that all of us moving up north would be beneficial to our family. I took the position and moved first to get established and she and the kids would follow shortly after. Once I had already made the move, she decided that she wouldn't live in the same state as me and chose a close by area in Illinois about two hours away. I helped with the move both in leg work and financially. I found her a home in a good school system and put down the deposit, I help her find a job, and I paid for her move up here.

That Fall, our 18 yr old (not being able to get along with her mother) came to live with me in Indiana. At this time I asked if the support could be lowered by $100.00 per month and via email, she agreed. We did not go to court to make the amendment to the court ruling, but we didn't think we had to if both parties agreed. She was already 18 and out of school!

Fast forward. In May of last year, our second eldest (then 17yrs old), also having a hard time getting along with her mother, came to live with me. This time the Ex asked that I only lower the child support by $71 as she claims she is struggling financially. Though I cannot see it by her excessive and frivolous spending, I agreed. This too was confirmed only by email. I have continued making these $700 payments to her even though our now 18yr old who lives with me, has graduated from high school, and I am supporting through college.

From day one, I have always supported my children, never missed a payment, given her financial help when needed, loans when asked, extra money for needs for the children, paid for every stitch of medical & dental even though the divorce agreement states she pay 40%, bought school clothes and supplies every single year for each of our children, taken them on vacations, never missed a weekend of visitation and things have been peaceful.

I just received notice from an Illinois court that she is suing me for over $6k in delinquent child support from September of 2012 until now.

How screwed am I? And is there anything I can do to fight this?

 

[army judge]

Divorced in January of 2012 in South Carolina, the ex took custody of our 18yr old (not yet graduated from High School), our 15yr old and our 8yr old. At this time I was ordered by South Carolina courts to pay $871 in child support for all three children (until the 18th birthday or high school graduation whichever is later) and $800 in alimony each month.

Decree states only this: Child support shall continue for each child until the child reaches the age of 18 or graduate from high school whichever is later. I gives no mention of instruction about how to do this.

In May of that year, our 18yr old graduated from high school. Out of generosity (and her desperate pleas) I continued to pay the full amount. The summer of that year, I was offered a position in northern Indiana. We talked about it, and agreed that all of us moving up north would be beneficial to our family. I took the position and moved first to get established and she and the kids would follow shortly after. Once I had already made the move, she decided that she wouldn't live in the same state as me and chose a close by area in Illinois about two hours away. I helped with the move both in leg work and financially. I found her a home in a good school system and put down the deposit, I help her find a job, and I paid for her move up here.

That Fall, our 18 yr old (not being able to get along with her mother) came to live with me in Indiana. At this time I asked if the support could be lowered by $100.00 per month and via email, she agreed. We did not go to court to make the amendment to the court ruling, but we didn't think we had to if both parties agreed. She was already 18 and out of school!

Fast forward. In May of last year, our second eldest (then 17yrs old), also having a hard time getting along with her mother, came to live with me. This time the Ex asked that I only lower the child support by $71 as she claims she is struggling financially. Though I cannot see it by her excessive and frivolous spending, I agreed. This too was confirmed only by email. I have continued making these $700 payments to her even though our now 18yr old who lives with me, has graduated from high school, and I am supporting through college.

From day one, I have always supported my children, never missed a payment, given her financial help when needed, loans when asked, extra money for needs for the children, paid for every stitch of medical & dental even though the divorce agreement states she pay 40%, bought school clothes and supplies every single year for each of our children, taken them on vacations, never missed a weekend of visitation and things have been peaceful.

I just received notice from an Illinois court that she is suing me for over $6k in delinquent child support from September of 2012 until now.

How screwed am I? And is there anything I can do to fight this?

You need only to defend.
It will be extremely difficult, as you've made your defense difficult.
Never pay child support directly to the recipient.
Such payments can be construed as gifts by the courts.

However, you claim those proof of your email gentle lady and gentleman agreements.
Hopefully, you can use those emails to establish any variances from the court order.
You will also need to show proof of all payments from you to the other party.
Hopefully your proof will establish that such payments were intended to pay your court ordered child support, and not for other purposes.

The original court order emanated from SC.
Your current dispute will be litigated in Illinois.
If I were you, I'd seek to have the matter adjudicated before a court, not an administrative law body.

If possible, you really could use a lawyer.

But, here's the rub.
A lawyer could cost your four or five grand.
You need to consider if you can negotiate a settlement of say four or five grand to get things back on track.
Yes, you're looking at six grand, but that can be made current with a payment arrangement over three to six months, maybe a year.

Plus, make sure ALL future payments go directly to the court, or state child support collections agency.
In the interim it would be smart to open an escrow account for monthly payments until this is resolved.

The good news, you have one minor child remaining in the care of the other parent.
That child will be an adult four, maybe five years.
After the child hits adulthood, or high school graduation, the nightmare ends.

You're not screwed, mate.
The situation isn't FUBAR, it just needs to be repaired.

 

[ElleMD]

If you have receipts/cancelled checks/emails/bank statements to show all you have paid, you are in much better shape. It sounds like you are overpaying and being more generous than called for in the agreement. That goes a long way with judges who spend their days dealing with those who consistently underpay and refuse to do one bit more for their children than they must.

Your mistake was not formally modifying the agreements when the children turned 18, and when custody changed. I would file to do that now. While you are at it, I would get it in the agreement the exact date child support officially stops and the same with alimony. If you choose to do more, such as continuing payments while the child is in college, no one will stop you.