How do I make the EX go away!

[Rainchild]

I have been separated over 1 and 1/2 yrs from a verbally abusive boyfriend of 3 yrs. I have given him all that we had acquired from our relationship but he still continues to make claims/demands for money. I am told that by avoiding him that he can make any outrageous claim and win if uncontested. And that he can continue to make these claims/demands and continue to force me to pay attorney fees ( witch he runs up because he doesn't have a lawyer and needs to speak to them himself) without following through with anything.
How can I end this vicious cycle without counter suing and being tied up in litigation for years? I just want to live in peace.


Thankyou and god loves

 

[dee_dub]

I am told that by avoiding him that he can make any outrageous claim and win if uncontested.

That is essentially correct.

How can I end this vicious cycle without counter suing and being tied up in litigation for years?

Option 1 is get him to sign an agreement that all claims arising from your relationship have been fully and finally settled. However, I assume he will not be prepared to enter into such an agreement without receiving something from you.

Alternatively, you can apply to have him declared a vexatious litigant. It is ridiculous that niggling little claims would continue to arise 1.5 years after you separated. However, this might be pretty difficult. Judges are often reluctant to deny someone their day(s) in court.

 

[Rainchild]

I tried to pay him off in exchange for a letter stating he would leave me alone. His reply is always with a demand for even more money. I do have proof of 3yrs worth of my wages being wire transferred to bank accounts in his name. I will try what the vexatious litigant. If it doesn't work, is there anything else I can try without having it drug out in court?
Thank you so much
God Loves

 

[Green_Hornet]

Make him take you to court it does not sound like he has a case, if he does not have a case he cant get an attorney.

 

[Rainchild]

He really doesn't have a case. And his pre paid legal wont represent him. I just don't want to go to court because I have changed my e-mail twice, my phone number twice, my employment, my state of residence, and even got married and changed my last name. I don't want him to find me, and I'm afraid this information would come out in court. I don't believe its his intention to go to court anyway, he just wants to punish me for leaving him. ( it was a verbal/emotionally abusive relationship)As long as he has a legal right to make claims/demands he can continue with his abuse.
Thank you and God loves

 

[Green_Hornet]

Talk to your family law attorney if you don't want him finding you and some how he launches a suite tell your attorney (prior) that you want any service processed through your attorneys office directly not you.

 

[tigerlilly09]

why are you giving him money? is it rightfully his? if theres no reason to give him money.. then let him take you to court..

 

[Green_Hornet]

Tiger Lilly is right I would not give the guy any money unless it is owed.

 

[dee_dub]

You're in a different state from him? And he doesn't know your address?

I'd stop worrying. If the amount he might sue you for fits under the small claims limit, he'd need to sue you in your home state. And he'd need to find you to do that. Even if it's a regular civil suit, he'd need to serve you. And if he can't find you, he can't serve you. He might apply for an order for substituted service, but that's a lot of work to go through for a nuisance claim, and there's no guarantee he'd succeed.

 

[Rainchild]

Thanks for the help. I asked my lawyer if I could retain him for the purpose of being served only. So my ex will have no legal reason to contact me except through my lawyer. I just hope he stays away.

God Loves,
Laura