Helppp

[Dave4144]

Okay first starters I am in the army stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. My wife and I were married in May but she still lives in Texas(back home). Her and her ex husband agreed, before I was in the picture, that they would have joint legal custody over the 2 little ones. They alternate every other week. Is there some way we can go about getting the kids full custody and him getting them the holidays and summer and what not? Or is that not possible at this point?

 

[army judge]

Okay first starters I am in the army stationed at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. My wife and I were married in May but she still lives in Texas(back home). Her and her ex husband agreed, before I was in the picture, that they would have joint legal custody over the 2 little ones. They alternate every other week. Is there some way we can go about getting the kids full custody and him getting them the holidays and summer and what not? Or is that not possible at this point?

Being in the active army, retired military, a plumber, a dentist, rich, poor, all legally irrelevant.

There is also no WE insofar as HER child custody agreement is concerned.

She can petition the court for a change. That's very unlikely, unless SHE (now you come into this discussion to HELP fund transportation costs) agrees to fund the weekly trips.

If dad doesn't care, let's just say, some people offer CASH incentives to get people to agree to things.

Mom has rights.
Dad has rights, too.
But, this is what is best for the kiddos.
The court doesn't want to see them bandied about like a ping long ball.
They need consistency.
The kids need stability.
Traveling between KY and TX would severely harm their educational development.
People must consider these issues before they marry into these convoluted and troubled circumstances.

 

[Dave4144]

Being in the active army, retired military, a plumber, a dentist, rich, poor, all legally irrelevant.

There is also no WE insofar as HER child custody agreement is concerned.

She can petition the court for a change. That's very unlikely, unless SHE (now you come into this discussion to HELP fund transportation costs) agrees to fund the weekly trips.

If dad doesn't care, let's just say, some people offer CASH incentives to get people to agree to things.

Mom has rights.
Dad has rights, too.
But, this is what is best for the kiddos.
The court doesn't want to see them bandied about like a ping long ball.
They need consistency.
The kids need stability.
Traveling between KY and TX would severely harm their educational development.
People must consider these issues before they marry into these convoluted and troubled circumstances.

Okay so I understand all that. It's still a WE for me. I'm sorry if our circumstances are "convoluted" and "troubled" but we are doing our best to make things good for the children. Her ex doesn't even have a job. Hasn't made payments on the children's daycare for them to go to school over his last 6 weeks(175 a week) The kids are coming back to my wife unbathed, hair a mess, clothes dirty. When I married that woman, it became a WE for us. I inherited everything with her when we made the decision to be together for the rest of out lives, both good and bad.
It's a difficult situation I realize that but I need actual help that's going to contribute to solving the problem. Can we go to court for this and can we win. That's what I want to know.

 

[mightymoose]

That is essentially what you were already told.

SHE can petition for a new/modified custody order based upon whatever significant change of circumstances there are.

Since she is remarried and there is a potential move out of state it seems reasonable that a new agreement be worked out. Since she is the one moving away she should expect to pay a significant portion of the travel costs for kids to see dad.
If dad doesn't care then she might get lucky and get what she wants with little opposition.
This isn't about winning. It is about the children maintaining relationships with both of their parents.

 

[army judge]

Okay so I understand all that. It's still a WE for me. I'm sorry if our circumstances are "convoluted" and "troubled" but we are doing our best to make things good for the children. Her ex doesn't even have a job. Hasn't made payments on the children's daycare for them to go to school over his last 6 weeks(175 a week) The kids are coming back to my wife unbathed, hair a mess, clothes dirty. When I married that woman, it became a WE for us. I inherited everything with her when we made the decision to be together for the rest of out lives, both good and bad.
It's a difficult situation I realize that but I need actual help that's going to contribute to solving the problem. Can we go to court for this and can we win. That's what I want to know.

I can't say who or what will prevail. I gave you suggestions that you can run by her. She can hire a lawyer. She can direct her lawyer to petition the court to modify the existing custody order. The lawyer she hires can provide her the legal help she requires. That is after she compensates him for said legal assistance.


You can accompany her to court, or go on your own. You have no legal standing to do a damn thing before a Texas court regarding her custody or child care matters. You can't legally become a party to this particular legal matter.

If the father of the children isn't caring for the children properly, (when in his care) report it to the police or CPS.

Be advised, unless the father of the children agrees, it'll be all but impossible to persuade a judge that her marriage to you alone constitutes a change in circumstances of consequence so momentous as to permit her to take the children with the court's blessing, relocate and uproot them by moving to Kentucky, and provide her with an amended custody order to that effect!!!

You can help her sweeten the pot by backing her offer to bear the financial burden of ALL transportation costs weekly, so that dad can receive his weekly parenting time. If these kids are younger than about seven years old,that means paying an adult to accompany them.

No court will take such an offer seriously, even if the tickets were prepaid. It wouldn't be in the best interests of the children. In child custody matters, the court will always inquire as to whether a particular action best benefits the child(ren).

There, now off you go.

 

[Proserpina]

Okay so I understand all that. It's still a WE for me. I'm sorry if our circumstances are "convoluted" and "troubled" but we are doing our best to make things good for the children. Her ex doesn't even have a job. Hasn't made payments on the children's daycare for them to go to school over his last 6 weeks(175 a week) The kids are coming back to my wife unbathed, hair a mess, clothes dirty. When I married that woman, it became a WE for us. I inherited everything with her when we made the decision to be together for the rest of out lives, both good and bad.
It's a difficult situation I realize that but I need actual help that's going to contribute to solving the problem. Can we go to court for this and can we win. That's what I want to know.

The child has messy hair and mucked up clothing? That pretty much applies at some point or another to every kid. Ever.

The test is two-pronged; first Mom needs a significant change of circumstances in the kids' lives. If she has that, she must prove to the court that switching custody should happen.

It gets worse (for Mom) - she's basically going to be asking to change a well-established 50/50 timeshare.

Her ex doesn't have to have a job. Does Mom work?

If Mom works - she's probably solidified Dad's custody and the best she could hope for is for the current timeshare to stay as it is....otherwise she may end up being the visiting parent and paying CS to Dad.

So it's up to her. Does she want to risk losing week on/week off?