friend wants to file restraining order but she could be guilty

[sol1985]

Jurisdiction

New York

Long story short, my female friend wants to file a restraining order against her ex girlfriend. (She was involved in a same sex relationship almost two years ago).

My friend, who has been living in NYC illegally for almost five years on an expired tourist visa feels that her ex is stalking her because she sees her at times at the same LGBT parties that are thrown, where everyone is invited. She has no solid proof of the stalking, since the ex doesn't contact her. Her only proof is that they run into the same bars and parties together at times.

Anyway, last weekend, my friend went to an LGBT party at a bar, and she saw her ex there. It was by coincidence, I believe. Long story short, for whatever reason, my friend told her ex that her friends (not me) are going to use violence on her if she doesn't stop running into her. Her ex got so upset that she threw my friend's phone on the floor and broke it. My friend got so angry that she immediately jumped at her and started to strangle the ex. The ex broke away by punching her in the face. Since my friend was bleeding as a result of the blow, she basically told everyone that the ex is crazy and as a result, will file a restraining order.

Here are the issues that I'm worried about: First, my friend is an illegal immigrant and second, New York state has anti strangulation laws that are considered a felony if I'm not mistaken. So the question is, does my friend have a case, or can her ex actually file a police report against her for strangulation? Is my friend justified for strangling her ex, because her ex broke her phone? Another datapoint: Her ex apologized a few hours later later, and even sent her a wire payment to pay for the damaged phone, which my friend accepted, but still wants to file a restraining order. Does she have a case?

Also, our other friends are telling her to go to the police precinct and commence the restraint order, but I think the police will go to the club and obtain footage that shows she started to strangle her ex.

 

[mightymoose]

It seems to me your friend should make herself real small and just disappear awhile to let things cool off.

What you describe was not anything close to stalking. Maybe coincidence at best.

What you describe is your friend becoming physically aggressive, making criminal threats, and committing an act of domestic violence. None if this will go well for her if she is arrested, and attempting to obtain a restraining order will only make her own arrest more likely.
If a restraining order is needed for anyone it is for the ex who was attacked, not for your friend.

 

[army judge]

Two years on a tourist visa = illegal alien

Thank God the authorities are rounding up illegal aliens and sending them back to where they belong.

Yeah, tell her to make waves, report it to the police, that's the best policy HONESTY.

 

[sol1985]

How about the fact her ex broke her phone? Can she use that even though the ex paid for it and she accepted the payment?

Also, this happened in a nightclub. Will footage be available - and will the police ask for it once she files the report (the one who may get arrested). By the way, I doubt she will be deported - she's already been her for five years on an expired tourist visa. Plus this is New York - it's a sanctuary State.

 

[army judge]

How about the fact her ex broke her phone? Can she use that even though the ex paid for it and she accepted the payment?

Also, this happened in a nightclub. Will footage be available - and will the police ask for it once she files the report (the one who may get arrested). By the way, I doubt she will be deported - she's already been her for five years on an expired tourist visa. Plus this is New York - it's a sanctuary State.

She would have no standing LEGALLY to sue anyone, as she is in this country illegally.

Of course, she could try, often it isn't checked; she might get away with suing her.

However, there is bad blood between these two.

I'm sure the other party would howl, scream, and reveal your illegal status to the court.

There might be video footage available of the alleged incident.

But, there were human witnesses, which are often better than video foortage.

There are no sanctuary states or cities.

Yes, those entities have proclaimed themselves to sanctuary locations, ILLEGALLY.

That battle is coming to a head, sooner, rather than later.

You can't break laws and pretend you didn't break the laws because you haven't been caught.

There are millions of people all across this land with all manner of warrants against them.

They avoid being nabbed because most try to live below the radar, make themselves invisible, and stay out of trouble.

Drawing attention to yourself, when a target is painted on your back is never a good idea.

Never break bad with "the man", because he has all the power, you don't.

 

[sol1985]

Are human witnesses really better than video surveillance? People can lie or misjudge by being under the influence.

 

[army judge]

Are human witnesses really better than video surveillance? People can lie or misjudge by being under the influence.

Juries prefer two things: forensic/scientific evidence and a believable, likable human being.

 

[zddoodah]

Since my friend was bleeding as a result of the blow, she basically told everyone that the ex is crazy and as a result, will file a restraining order.

Your friend cannot file a restraining order. She can ask the court to issue one, but she cannot file it herself.

does my friend have a case

Nothing you posted suggests that your friend has a legitimate reason to seek a restraining order against her ex.

can her ex actually file a police report against her for strangulation?

Her ex most certainly can report the incident to the police (hard to believe that you think it might not be possible to do so).

Is my friend justified for strangling her ex, because her ex broke her phone?

Of course not. Did you really think the answer might be yes?

Your friend seems like a bit of a nutjob. Based on what you wrote, she was overly paranoid about being stalked by the ex and then proceeded to initiate an altercation with her ex that led to physical violence. Based on what you wrote, your friend should be more worried about being slapped with a restraining order than the other way around.

How about the fact her ex broke her phone? Can she use that even though the ex paid for it and she accepted the payment?

How about it? Use it for what? The ex damaged your friend's property, so she was liable to pay for the damage, which she did. Everything else that happened is on your friend.

Also, this happened in a nightclub. Will footage be available - and will the police ask for it once she files the report (the one who may get arrested).

I imagine there are several hundred -- of not more than 1,000 -- nightclubs in NYC, and I imagine they have a huge range of video surveillance, and we have no conceivable way of knowing what may or may not be available in some unknown nightclub. We also have no way of knowing what the police will do in response to a report regarding the incident you described.

I doubt she will be deported - she's already been her for five years on an expired tourist visa. Plus this is New York - it's a sanctuary State.

If you think New York's status as a "sanctuary state" means she's immune to being deported, I suggest you think again.

 

[sol1985]

Update: the footage showing the strangulation is available. The ex was told in writing by security, so there is plenty of documentation.

I'm not sure the ex wants her ex deported though. That's too much but so is strangulation, I guess. Decisions, decisions for the ex.

Thanks for your replies

 

[leslie82]

Long story short, my female friend wants to file a restraining order against her ex girlfriend. (She was involved in a same sex relationship almost two years ago).

My friend, who has been living in NYC illegally for almost five years on an expired tourist visa feels that her ex is stalking her because she sees her at times at the same LGBT parties that are thrown, where everyone is invited. She has no solid proof of the stalking, since the ex doesn't contact her. Her only proof is that they run into the same bars and parties together at times.

Anyway, last weekend, my friend went to an LGBT party at a bar, and she saw her ex there. It was by coincidence, I believe. Long story short, for whatever reason, my friend told her ex that her friends (not me) are going to use violence on her if she doesn't stop running into her. Her ex got so upset that she threw my friend's phone on the floor and broke it. My friend got so angry that she immediately jumped at her and started to strangle the ex. The ex broke away by punching her in the face. Since my friend was bleeding as a result of the blow, she basically told everyone that the ex is crazy and as a result, will file a restraining order.

Here are the issues that I'm worried about: First, my friend is an illegal immigrant and second, New York state has anti strangulation laws that are considered a felony if I'm not mistaken. So the question is, does my friend have a case, or can her ex actually file a police report against her for strangulation? Is my friend justified for strangling her ex, because her ex broke her phone? Another datapoint: Her ex apologized a few hours later later, and even sent her a wire payment to pay for the damaged phone, which my friend accepted, but still wants to file a restraining order. Does she have a case?

Also, our other friends are telling her to go to the police precinct and commence the restraint order, but I think the police will go to the club and obtain footage that shows she started to strangle her ex.

Sounds like coincidence. They get invited to the same parties and the ex doesn't talk to her -not stalking. If anything her ex could go after her for threatening her if she wanted. Your friend started it all. They're both lucky no one got arrested.

She needs to stay away from these parties for awhile and if she sees her ex she needs to just leave the premises in the future.