Domestic Violence & Civil Orders Falsely Accused of "Stalking" Ex fiance - Teaching/Army on the line

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marktoloba

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What is the name of your state (only U.S. What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? New York

Hey guys, I am being falsely accused of "stalking" my ex fiance. We were engaged on Christmas and I found out she was cheating on me in February. We went through a rough break up, back and forth sorts of things. Anyways... The police was called by her mother (She is 22 but still lives at home with her son. I live approx 2 miles away), in which was a turning point where I finally decided to let go of the relationship. On top of the situation she still owed me $2300 for a car that I helped loan the money... There are alot of details going into this, so I have a journal i constructed. Granted it is from my side, but everything I say in it is the truth.

Anyways... her allegation say that I am threatening people in her household, her son, and her new boyfriend she cheated on me with which I guess currently lives with her. She has two police reports, both in which my opinion should never have been involved. She told the police I have weapons, that I'm dangerous, that I was outside her house at night, and that I own guns. In reality I've never been in a fight in my life, I serve in the Army for 8 years so I have a picture with me with a gun on facebook, I am a certified teacher in NYS and the only person who was ever threatened was the new boyfriend... which that went back and forth.... She is doing this to try and get back at me for the money I loaned her that I earned back in small claims court... and to hurt my career.

Nothing actually ever happened other than talking and threats nearly 5 months ago... but she lied to the police about all of these things... Below is my journal. I am not sure if I can actually read my journal in court or anything of that sort, but addresses all issues since it all began. Any advice would be eternally appreciated.

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Name and I dated for approximately two year. On Christmas, I asked Name to marry me, she said yes. Within months we were looking places to move in together and start out life. Just me, her, and her son SonsName. The 2nd week in February, just before Valentines Day, I found out Name had been cheating on me and had sex with another guy.
The following 2-3 weeks were rough. We broke up but we still kept in contact, mostly at her work. During these weeks she still told me that she loved me, openly kissed me, etc. The last day I saw Name before her mother called the police at her work (March 10th), she still told me she loved me, kissed me, as well as had sexual relations with me in the bathroom at her work. Although it was a confusing time, everything was mutual and often she engaged first. Note: Name's mother called the police, not her.

Last Summer I loaned Name over $2000 for her car and repairs, and she had promised to pay me monthly. She had been telling me since October that she couldn't afford to pay me but was going to give me her taxes when they came in to pay me back towards the total, which was over $1000. Even during the breakup, she still promised me this, and was another reason for me to keep coming back, as she said it would be in any day. She just kept on blowing it off and blowing it off, she never ended up giving it to me.

After her mother called the police on March 10th, I waited to talk to the police to ask them advice, as I did nothing wrong and I was actually the victim in the situation. They told me that I would have to do everything through small claims court and that I should just try to move on, because it wasn't worth it. That very same day I went to the justice to file for small claims.
April 9th, One month later with zero contact. We meet in small claims court and Name agrees to setup a payment plan to pay back the money she owed me. She never gave me the taxes like she promised and lied to me. The negotiations were as civil as they could be, she knew she owed me the money and promised to pay me $200 per month. She signed a contract in front of the judge. Because we settled "out of court" officially, there was no actual judgment made, the judge acted more as a mediator. She signed the contract, notarized by the Justice and overseen by the Judge. When Name was walking to her car I told her that I forgave her so that I could move on.

Approximately 2 months go by, I have not contacted Name or seen her. She has not attempted to pay me, work out anything with the payment plan, nothing… I went back to the Justice and the judge told me that it is my legal right to ask her why she isn't paying. He told me that the contract she signed should be handled the same as a bank loan. With the judge's permission, I filed for another court date and I planned to ask Name why she hadn't paid me in person.

The next day I went to her house to talk to her. I knocked on the door and the man she cheated on me with answered the door. I asked where Name was and why she hadn't paid me. He responded with nothing but threats and got in my face. I told him that if he was going to do something then do it, if not, the money or contract has nothing to do with him. I then got in the car and went to Name's work at the local gas station. I grabbed and drink and tried to talk to her while I was in line to buy the drink. I asked her why she wasn't paying, and she responded with a bunch of fake reason and lies about not being able to afford it and not being able to contact me to work something out. While I was talking to her, the guy comes in behind me threatening me again. I simply just left. I had every right to know why she was not paying me. It was my legal right. I did not threaten anybody… I did however not stand down when he got in my face. I am not a coward and I believe I should be able to defend yourself if threatened by somebody else.

A month passes of no contact… We met in front of the judge, this time officially. Within 5 minutes, and without even asking me a question, the judge awards me the judgment of $2300. He told her that she signed the contract willingly and that she needs to do as she promised. He told her that it is no different than a bank loan and that I did have the right to know why she wasn't paying me. He referred to the situation like a collection agency talking to people who owe them money. They left and I never contacted them again, other than the letter requesting payment through the mail, which is the first step in the collection process.

I thought that everything was finally all over and a week later I get the letter in the mail saying I was "stalking" Name and that she was afraid for her life… My whole family and everyone I know couldn't even believe it. Other than court and one instance with the judge's permission, I have not seen Name in 4 months, or her son in 5 months. She is making up numerous lies about me having guns, and being dangerous. She has known me for over 2 years, she knows I don't own a gun. She knows I have never been in a fight in my life. I was never outside her house at night. I was nowhere near her. I have never threatened her or her son SonsName in my life. I'd sooner take a bullet for SonsName than hurt him. I never even so much as spanked him when she wanted me to. I loved that kid enough to want to call him my son, and I planned on raising him as my son until she ruined it.

This whole "stalking" thing is nothing but a vendetta against me. She cheated on me, she owes me money, which she still hasn't paid me even after the judgment, and she lies continuously. I did nothing to deserve any of it. The biggest mistake I had was asking her to marry me. I have served our country for 8 years. I am a certified teacher in NYS for Physical Education K-12. She is trying to do this to hurt my character, my career, and get out of paying the money that I loaned her out of the goodness of my heart. In all honestly, I would be happy to never see her again. She and her family have nothing to offer me. I feel bad that her son will have to grow up with nobody of character to look up to. I would like this all to just be done with so I can move on with my life.
 
There is nothing teh law can do about one person "cheating" n the other person.
So, forget that, it means nothing, LEGALLY.

You're a vet, I retired after 30 years service, it means nothing - except they send me some money each month.
So, let's toss that aside.

You proposed, it never worked out. You guys broke it off. Good news there, at least you didn't find out AFTER marrying her. That's a winner, no divorce required. But, that means nothing LEGALLY. Tossing that away, too.

If she has an order of protection, let it go. You don't want to see her, she doesn't want to see you. That order will in no way interfere with your life, unless you violate. Let's toss that, you ain't stupid.

So, if anyone owes you money, you sue them.
If you decide to sue her, only discuss the money. You have to prove it was a loan, and provide information to support that.
She'll say it was a gift, or you never gave it to her. If you have proof, discuss only the loan, you could prevail.
Either way, the judge will decide.
Google "small claims YOUR COUNTY, NY".
Here's a link that discusses the process in general in NY:

https://www.nycourts.gov/courthelp/Booklets/SmallClaimsHandbook.pdf

That's all you got. If I were you, I'd let that go. But, you want some kind of vindication, so suing for the money is all you have left.
Be advised, win or lose, after the lawsuit is decided, stay away form her and her family.
Otherwise, thinsg like this go south rapidly.
 
Thanks for the reply. If you read the journal, I stated that I have not seen her in 4 months other than when it came to the contract. She called the cops anyways even though she had no right to. I never threatened her and i did only talk about the money. She is fabricating lies to try and hurt my career over some vendetta. I know alot of the things have nothing to do legally with the charges but it lays out the foundation for what happened.

I have already won the small claims court case. And other than one time out of court with the small claims judge permission, I have not seen her in 4 months. The thing is she is falsely accusing me of stalking her and I have a court date. Its freaking me out because all my job qualifications deal with being an honorable and trusted person. I have never gave her a reason to fear me or threatened her in our whole 2 years together. It would be kind of hard teaching with stalking charges on your record especially when they aren't true.
 
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Thanks for the reply. If you read the journal, I stated that I have not seen her in 4 months other than when it came to the contract. She called the cops anyways even though she had no right to. I never threatened her and i did only talk about the money. She is fabricating lies to try and hurt my career over some vendetta. I know alot of the things have nothing to do legally with the charges but it lays out the foundation for what happened.

I have already won the small claims court case. And other than one time out of court with the small claims judge permission, I have not seen her in 4 months. The thing is she is falsely accusing me of stalking her and I have a court date. Its freaking me out because all my job qualifications deal with being an honorable and trusted person. I have never gave her a reason to fear me or threatened her in our whole 2 years together. It would be kind of hard teaching with stalking charges on your record especially when they aren't true.


I suggest you HIRE a lawyer, if her baseless lawsuit distresses you to distraction.
You're wasting your time trying to convince or argue your case in public.
That's best saved for your upcoming hearing.

The police investigate all manner of things. Most of the time it's nothing, as in your case. I suggest you research just what a restraining order is, because all of them aren't criminal. They're simply an instruction from the judge to avoid another person. If you obey, you need not pay. As you're no longer involved, the debt dispute has been resolved, you could dispose of the OOP by simply instructing your attorney to represent to the court that you'll accept the terms.



Dig in and acquaint yourself with OOP in NY State:




http://www.hochheiser.com/Criminal-...e/What-if-I-Violate-a-Restraining-Order-.aspx



http://www.nycourts.gov/faq/orderofprotection.shtml


http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?statelaw_name=Restraining Orders&state_code=NY


http://www.womenslaw.org/laws_state_type.php?id=561&state_code=NY



http://thelawdictionary.org/article/new-york-state-restraining-order-rules/
 
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