Ex's lawyer wont finalize the divorce papers

[tylerdurden]

im divorced. on paper we have split up the assets and the custody issues and everything. She signed a memo awarding me the house at no cost. her lawyer told me privately he wouldnt give me my divorce papers until i refinance the house so her name isnt on the loan anymore. i dont think thats legal and it has nothign to do with me getting my final date for divorce..how do i get it and what should i do? it's been a full year since it's been filed and started btw.

i feel like she's holding out on the finalization because she is still using all the medical benefits provided from my job - and her new boyfriend wont do it.

 

[army judge]

You don't have to refinance the note, just get the lender to take her name off the paper.

That might not be as easy as it sounds, if your credit worthiness won't satisfy your current lender.

You can then try to get another lender (fat chance in this economy, huh).

Or, you can sell the home and split the profits.

If you don't have a great deal of equity in the home, selling it might be your best bet.

I know that isn't what you asked, I'm just trying to help you sort out your options.

I suspect her lawyer is concerned, or suspect's you can't get new financing on your own.

With that in mind, he's probably trying to ensure that his wife retains whatever equity there is in the home.

You could always ask the court to order the lawyer and your "ex" to sign off as they agreed to do.

Finally, the lawyer's reticence to take his client's name off the home isn't illegal, at most it could amount to an act of contempt. That, however, is for the judge to say.

 

[tylerdurden]

the memorandum that they signed to me states that she moved out last year sep 29 , and im resuming ownership of the home at ZERO cost. It states that I earned the home through my VA loan and she would not want to take that away from me (im disabled).
so with that memo , she cant get any equity out of the home and i dont have to sell anything.

her lawyer wants me to remove her name from the credit portion-but it's not in writting he just casually told me and told me thats all that is left before he'll give me my divorce papers.

now all i want is the divorce paperwork--how do i get that? what do i have to do?

and as far as having the lender remove her name? i need the divorce papers for that right? or is that her problem since i already have the home based on her own memo to me?

 

[army judge]

You should speak with your lawyer.

If you filed pro se, I'd retain one to finalize the divorce.

You're getting into a battle, and you're going to be overwhelmed fighting this alone.

 

[tylerdurden]

if i had a lawyer, i wouldnt be online researching.

i didnt file first, she did. i didnt contest anything other than the kids - and thats not even an issue that can hold things up

 

[army judge]

if i had a lawyer, i wouldnt be online researching.

i didnt file first, she did. i didnt contest anything other than the kids - and thats not even an issue that can hold things up

You now need your own attorney.

You will discover (if you haven't already), that you are out gunned and out manned.

Some situations are far too complex to handle pro se.

I'm sorry that I have nothing more to offer you.

 

[tylerdurden]

well what can i expect to look for in interviewing lawyers? i had one, he drained my account and didnt get me anything...nothing. i had to let him go but not until he was sure to break me financially.

 

[army judge]

well what can i expect to look for in interviewing lawyers? i had one, he drained my account and didnt get me anything...nothing. i had to let him go but not until he was sure to break me financially.

Ask for recommendations on lawyers from your family, friends, co-workers, and business associates.
You can also try the local bar association or the state bar association.

When you have selected your lawyer, make sure you get him/her to create a retainer document.
That is your contract.
It tells you how much you'll be charged and what the lawyer will do for you.
If a lawyer doesn't offer to give you a retainer, and resists when you ask for one, I'd never hire him/her to represent me.

 

[tylerdurden]

I have been making moves for my lawyer and have my files in line.

all i want is my divorce papers. whats the hold up and why dont i have them yet? what could possibly be the hold up? and if i press the issue do i still have to wait another 6 months before it's final since i've been waiting a full year for them?

and bonus question - how do i insure i dont endup paying her lawyer fees? she's a liar and has a trail of blatent lies through this whole process so i need some peace of mind to get this trash out of my life

 

[army judge]

I have been making moves for my lawyer and have my files in line.

all i want is my divorce papers. whats the hold up and why dont i have them yet? what could possibly be the hold up? and if i press the issue do i still have to wait another 6 months before it's final since i've been waiting a full year for them?

and bonus question - how do i insure i dont endup paying her lawyer fees? she's a liar and has a trail of blatent lies through this whole process so i need some peace of mind to get this trash out of my life

If you wish to avoid paying the liar's legal fees, that is why you need your own lawyer.

I have no idea why you have no divorce papers.

Why don't you call the court, and ask the court clerk that question?

By the way, liars are usually crooks, too!

 

[irish223]

im divorced. on paper we have split up the assets and the custody issues and everything. She signed a memo awarding me the house at no cost. her lawyer told me privately he wouldnt give me my divorce papers until i refinance the house so her name isnt on the loan anymore. i dont think thats legal and it has nothign to do with me getting my final date for divorce..how do i get it and what should i do? it's been a full year since it's been filed and started btw.

i feel like she's holding out on the finalization because she is still using all the medical benefits provided from my job - and her new boyfriend wont do it.

The bolded parts confuse me. You say you're divorced, then you say that you still need a final date for divorce. It doesn't sound as though the divorce is quite final.

As far as the house, IMO her lawyer is protecting her interests, as he should. That's not an unreasonable request.

Also, I believe that you will HAVE to refinance the VA loan in order to remove her from liability. You can't simply remove her name from the loan. And... that CAN be done before you're divorced.

 

[tylerdurden]

The bolded parts confuse me. You say you're divorced, then you say that you still need a final date for divorce. It doesn't sound as though the divorce is quite final.

As far as the house, IMO her lawyer is protecting her interests, as he should. That's not an unreasonable request.

Also, I believe that you will HAVE to refinance the VA loan in order to remove her from liability. You can't simply remove her name from the loan. And... that CAN be done before you're divorced.

my divorce should have been final in feb. so it's still not final - but imo im divorced.
secondly i have the memo from oct requesting our property to be awarded to me at zero cost - and the memorandum from her lawyer agreeing and the date she moved out .
after i got all the memos and the house awarded to me the lawyer told me outside of the court house (after we went to court for our kids) that he will NOT give me my finalized divorce papers until i refinance her name off the loan. this is not in writting this is not brought up in court..he just cornered me and told me that. i spoke to a lawyer i couldnt afford and he told me that the divorce and the home loan situation are two different things and he's trying to bully me-especially since i already have memos stating it's mine. if there was any truth to what he's saying, why didnt they include a time line on refinancing when i moved back in?

 

[irish223]

my divorce should have been final in feb. so it's still not final - but imo im divorced.
secondly i have the memo from oct requesting our property to be awarded to me at zero cost - and the memorandum from her lawyer agreeing and the date she moved out .
after i got all the memos and the house awarded to me the lawyer told me outside of the court house (after we went to court for our kids) that he will NOT give me my finalized divorce papers until i refinance her name off the loan. this is not in writting this is not brought up in court..he just cornered me and told me that. i spoke to a lawyer i couldnt afford and he told me that the divorce and the home loan situation are two different things and he's trying to bully me-especially since i already have memos stating it's mine. if there was any truth to what he's saying, why didnt they include a time line on refinancing when i moved back in?

All I'm saying is that her lawyer will probably request that the house issues be added to the final order. If I understand correctly, the house is not currently part of any order. The memos show your wife's intent to give you the house, but do not prevent her from requesting that the loan is refinanced. There's nothing illegal about that.

Frankly, if you want to fight this, and you haven't been awarded the house in any court documents, then your wife (or her lawyer) can turn right around and request her share of it.

Of course, I may be wrong, but if you want to fight this, I strongly suggest that you retain an attorney.

 

[tylerdurden]

im requesting a lawyer now. as far as the property goes, it lost all it's value becuase the economy is bad - there is no equity to cash out. we are basically upside down BUT im able to keep the payments in check and up to date. thats about it. other than that i told them it would be a process because my loan officer said the economy is too bad right now and cant get that done on a moments notice.
nothing was or is in writting other than the guy holding my final judgement divorce papers up.
what can i do to get my finalized divorce papers done?

 

[irish223]

im requesting a lawyer now. as far as the property goes, it lost all it's value becuase the economy is bad - there is no equity to cash out. we are basically upside down BUT im able to keep the payments in check and up to date. thats about it. other than that i told them it would be a process because my loan officer said the economy is too bad right now and cant get that done on a moments notice.
nothing was or is in writting other than the guy holding my final judgement divorce papers up.
what can i do to get my finalized divorce papers done?

You'll have to wait until the hearing. When everything has been agreed upon, the judge will issue the final decree. Until then, there's not much you can do.

Unfortunately, if your STBX doesn't agree to something, then it will likely be continued.

 

[tylerdurden]

You'll have to wait until the hearing. When everything has been agreed upon, the judge will issue the final decree. Until then, there's not much you can do.

Unfortunately, if your STBX doesn't agree to something, then it will likely be continued.

so in other words i also have to agree to things like 'selling the house' or 'paying her legal fee's' ..if i refuse we are stuck in a stale mate?

 

[army judge]

so in other words i also have to agree to things like 'selling the house' or 'paying her legal fee's' ..if i refuse we are stuck in a stale mate?

No, you don't have to agree.

You have to fight harder than she does.

She will ask for the world.

You'll say no.

The judge will eventually rule.

 

[irish223]

so in other words i also have to agree to things like 'selling the house' or 'paying her legal fee's' ..if i refuse we are stuck in a stale mate?

No, not really. You make your case for what you want, she makes hers. Judges prefer that you come to some agreement. However, if it's a stalemate, the judge will decide based on all the evidence he has.

That's why an attorney is so important in this case. If you try to submit a document, statement, argument incorrectly, it will be not considered or heard.

Good luck to you!