Ex is withholding visitation at my home

[Leelinus75]

Jurisdiction

Pennsylvania

My Ex-wife is trying to get me to sign a document forbidding my son from coming to my home during his scheduled visitations because she feels my live-in girlfriend is "dangerous". She particularly dislikes her because my gf was the one I left her for. Because my girlfriend has had some issues in the past (DUI, attempted suicide during a really bad time), my Ex feels the current environment is unsafe. I live with my gf every day and I see her pulling her life together. She is sweet and kind, loves my son and my son loves her. We live together and I believe it is unfair to ask my SO to go somewhere for a weekend while my son is here. Also, the ex and my son live in Cleveland and my ex will only let me see him if I drive from Pittsburgh to Cleveland when I want to see him.

Is there anything I can do? Does she have the right to do this? This whole thing goes against our divorce settlement and it seems like she can just decide what happens based on petty jealousies and anger with me. Help!! Thanks!

 

[army judge]

s there anything I can do?

Yes, you can ignore her requests.

Does she have the right to do this?

She can pester you as long as you attend to her.

I suggest you ignore her, and respond only to proper legal process matters.

 

[Leelinus75]

Yes, you can ignore her requests.

She can pester you as long as you attend to her.

I suggest you ignore her, and respond only to proper legal process matters.

Thanks, just really wondering if she can keep my son away from my girlfriend. Also, what steps can I take since she keeps refusing to meet for our drop off times.

 

[army judge]

Thanks, just really wondering if she can keep my son away from my girlfriend. Also, what steps can I take since she keeps refusing to meet for our drop off times.

Who knows what another adult will do.

If she keeps the child away from you, off to court you go.

I wouldn't discuss anything about any female or male you might choose to date, breed, or marry.

This shouldn't be about anyone but YOU and YOUR child.

The child's mother can do many things, few of which you can stop.

If she withholds visitation from you, you must take the matter back before the judge who issued the original custody order and he or she will address her transgressions.

If she does anything to violate the order, if you do anything to violate the order, the other party has to go back to court, tell it to the judge, and what happens is up to the judge.

Judges dislike it when parties return because the kid was an hour late.

If its minor, document it, allow the minor transgressions to accumulate, and then take the matter back to court.

If its major, the child has bruises all over his body, and he says mommy's boy friend beat the snot outta him.

That's major, the police should be called, and back to court you eventually go.

As I suggested, ignore anything she has to say, unless it is about your child's school, health, behaviors, etc...

If she wants you to sign some ridiculous document, I'd simply say, "I will only discuss our child with you, his health, his school, his happiness, nothing else. If you want to address anything else, see my lawyer, or take it to court."

 

[Leelinus75]

Thanks again for the quick feedback. It sounds like you're saying, just take her to court. Unfortunately, I don't have an attorney. Her folks are loaded and keep an attorney on retainer for her constantly. That's why I'm trying to get as much info as possible, so I know my best course of action. Thanks again.

 

[army judge]

Thanks again for the quick feedback. It sounds like you're saying, just take her to court. Unfortunately, I don't have an attorney. Her folks are loaded and keep an attorney on retainer for her constantly. That's why I'm trying to get as much info as possible, so I know my best course of action. Thanks again.

Reread my post, it's best to avoid court for these insignificant matters.

When these small things come before a judge, it means trouble for the party bringing it.

What I suggest is simple, ignore the female you once called wife.

If she's blabbing about ANYTHING that doesn't involve the health, education, emotional, or spiritual well being of your child, don't respond.

She can ask you to sign some form, you should say or do nothing.

All you need to do is be a great dad, obey the existing custody order, and avoid discussing anything with her that isn't directly related to your child.

If it means jeopardizing my time with my child or being with some female, I'm choosing my child time after time!!!

 

[Leelinus75]

I think you misunderstood my original post...she won't let me see my child until I sign some ridiculous document. It's been months of this and now with Christmas coming up, he's going to be so disappointed (his mother is Jewish and he looks forward to Santa and the Christmas tree so much!) I can't go steal him, so what can I do to force her to obey the settlement?

 

[army judge]

I can't go steal him, so what can I do to force her to obey the settlement?

YOU can't make her obey anything.

You CAN petition the court to sanction her and instruct her to obey the order.

To do that you must petition the court to allow you to appear and be heard, while ordering her to appear at that hearing.

In some locations, you can take your court order to the pickup point at the appointed time and day.

Prior to doing so, you go to the nearest police station and ask for an officer to meet you at the pickup point to collect the child.

That might or might not work, depending if the police wish to get involved.

In some locations the police will say you must go to court, tell it to the judge and seek relief.

You also need to ask the court to change the pick up and return point to a police station lobby, or sheriff's station lobby.

Those locations have cameras, and people aren't foolish to start anything there.

Those locations are also places that document if someone is late for pick up and/or return.

Its your kid, your visitation, so if you wish to preserve it, you will probably need to hire an attorney, if you can't do it yourself.

 

[Disabled Vet]

You need to take her back to court. Unless you man up and show her she doesn't control your life with your son. She will continue to push you. You have a choice..... Stop seeing your son or take her to court. There are various places that try to help fathers.


FATHERS AND DADS FOR EQUAL CUSTODY RIGHTS

Home - acfc

 

[zddoodah]

Is there anything I can do?

I'm sure you can do lots of things, including (1) seeking to enforce the terms of your divorce decree and (2) not signing whatever document your ex is asking to be signed.

Does she have the right to do this?

She certainly has the right to ask you to sign anything she wants. Beyond that, you told us that "[t]his whole thing goes against our divorce settlement," so it seems that you've answered your own question.

just really wondering if she can keep my son away from my girlfriend. Also, what steps can I take since she keeps refusing to meet for our drop off times.

Whether she has any right to keep your son from your girlfriend depends on the terms of your divorce decree. Beyond that, the one and only "step" you should be taking is to seek enforcement of the provisions of your divorce decree.

what can I do to force her to obey the settlement?

Take the matter to court. There is no other answer to this question.

 

[leslie82]

My Ex-wife is trying to get me to sign a document forbidding my son from coming to my home during his scheduled visitations because she feels my live-in girlfriend is "dangerous". She particularly dislikes her because my gf was the one I left her for. Because my girlfriend has had some issues in the past (DUI, attempted suicide during a really bad time), my Ex feels the current environment is unsafe. I live with my gf every day and I see her pulling her life together. She is sweet and kind, loves my son and my son loves her. We live together and I believe it is unfair to ask my SO to go somewhere for a weekend while my son is here. Also, the ex and my son live in Cleveland and my ex will only let me see him if I drive from Pittsburgh to Cleveland when I want to see him.

Is there anything I can do? Does she have the right to do this? This whole thing goes against our divorce settlement and it seems like she can just decide what happens based on petty jealousies and anger with me. Help!! Thanks!

You don't have to listen to your ex or sign anything she gives you.

What does the court order say about visitation - especially in regards to travel? If your ex wife is violating the court order and isn't letting you have your visitation take her to court for contempt.

She will do whatever she wants as long as YOU let her. My ex husband's first wife was constantly in contempt of the visitation order. In fact, she used child support as an excuse not to let him have his weekends. So I started to pay child support so we could see the kids - but I told him to take her ass to court. That what she was doing was wrong. "Oh it's easier to just give her money." (Yeah because it wasn't his money).

Many lawyers give free consultations. Talk to a few - get some advice. If you can afford a lawyer get one. Take her ass back to court.