I think I may have a problem. I decided to leave my husband last year. We have a daughter, Carmen, who is 16 months old. We have not legally divorced yet; I initially did not have the money, and also wanted to wait till my ex stopped hating my guts to try to negotiate with him. Now things are a little better, and I am planning on getting the actual divorce soon. The thing is, is that we will have to work out a custody agreement. He's an okay dad, but I think he's doing drugs. He smoked a lot of pot, for most of the time we were together. We repeatedly argued about it, because I wanted him to quit, and he also lied about it a lot. He finally agreed that it was reasonable for him to quit completely when we had our daughter. Well, he didn't do that, either. Why should he, I let him do it all those years before...So, he claims to be clean now. But I know he's not. I went to his house one day to drop off our daughter. I thought he was there, but when I went in, he was gone. Why he left the door unlocked is a good question; he's usually too paranoid to ever do that. Anyway, I took that opportunity to snoop a little. Actually, I didn't have to snoop at all - he's always kept his stash under the couch cushions. So I went and looked under the cushions, and there was his stash, along with some zig zags. So, yeah, he's still lying.
But not only that, I think he might be doing speed, too. He's lost a lot of weight over the last six months, probably at least 25 pounds. He looks like crap. Plus, he's always been too lazy to exercise, so it's probably not that. I mentioned to him one day that he might want to consider eating a cheeseburger sometime, and he flipped out and got defensive, telling me to mind my own f-ing business.
We both live in the same town, and he moved two blocks from me after the split. So I pretty much have to drive by his house to come or go anywhere, since I live on the very south edge of town. When I get off of work at my part-time job as a bartender, sometimes at 2:30 or three in the morning, all his lights are on. Sometimes, this is going on when he has our daughter. She gets up at eight in the morning - so when does he sleep?
I'm worried. I don't want my daughter around that. I don't want her growing up around it. And I don't know how accountable I would be if he ever got caught. My questions: Can I lose her if he does get caught? What can I do about him without any evidence? Can I get court ordered treatment, and how? I don't want my daughter to grow up without her dad, but if he's a loser, then it's probably in her best interests. What kind of custody agreement should we have drawn up - or can I have him get a drug test before she stays with him again? What should I do?
But not only that, I think he might be doing speed, too. He's lost a lot of weight over the last six months, probably at least 25 pounds. He looks like crap. Plus, he's always been too lazy to exercise, so it's probably not that. I mentioned to him one day that he might want to consider eating a cheeseburger sometime, and he flipped out and got defensive, telling me to mind my own f-ing business.
We both live in the same town, and he moved two blocks from me after the split. So I pretty much have to drive by his house to come or go anywhere, since I live on the very south edge of town. When I get off of work at my part-time job as a bartender, sometimes at 2:30 or three in the morning, all his lights are on. Sometimes, this is going on when he has our daughter. She gets up at eight in the morning - so when does he sleep?
I'm worried. I don't want my daughter around that. I don't want her growing up around it. And I don't know how accountable I would be if he ever got caught. My questions: Can I lose her if he does get caught? What can I do about him without any evidence? Can I get court ordered treatment, and how? I don't want my daughter to grow up without her dad, but if he's a loser, then it's probably in her best interests. What kind of custody agreement should we have drawn up - or can I have him get a drug test before she stays with him again? What should I do?
