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Domestic disturbance Domestic Violence & Civil Orders

Discussion in 'Criminal Charges' started by Anne1982, Mar 18, 2022.

  1. Anne1982

    Anne1982 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Hello. I'm looking for advice on what to do moving forward. My live in boyfriend of 3 yrs and I got into an altercation last evening. I filed a report today (after the fact)

    What happened was we got into an argument over the fact that he has another child he never told me about and recently reconnected with the childs mother in an intimate way behind my back. I only found out through a photo tag on social media.

    Emotions were high and he was pleading with me to reconcile & forgive. I asked him to show me his phone messages and he refused and became irate. I then asked him to exit the bedroom and to take his belongings with him to the other spare room in the house. He got up to leave and refused to take his things with him so I gathered an armful and proceeded to follow him out. I then tossed these items on the floor in front of the door of the other room. These were a blanket and some clothing. Nothing breakable. I then went back to retrieve the other half of items (clothing only) and brought them to the other room. I tried to hand them over but he just stared at me and said he would 'f me up' if I also put those on the floor. I put them on the floor and he hit me on the back of the head pretty hard. My ear was ringing. Then a few seconds later I slapped him. It stopped after that.
    I relayed all of this to the police. He admitted to hitting me. But he also told them I have irrational jealousy issues. I am suffering from 'jealousy' in this situation but it is not unprovoked. The police informed us it's possible we will both face domestic disturbance charges. Him for hitting and me for provoking by throwing his clothes on the floor after a warning and then slapping him after he hit me.

    We will know after the district attorney reviews the police report. I've never been in a situation like this. What can I expect to unfold? Should I hire a lawyer? I just want it all to go away. I do not want to go to court. He will be moving out shortly and we will be going our separate ways.
     
  2. Anne1982

    Anne1982 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I should also note neither of us needed medical attention or had any visible bruises or marks to document. He's a big guy, 6'4 and muscalur. I'm a 5"5 small build woman
     
  3. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    I highly suggest you consult with a Criminal Defense Attorney in your area and do not discuss this with anyone but them. Do not discuss with the DA without an attorney present.

    State Bar New Mexico

    And when I say "anyone" I do mean ANYONE...Even your parents.
     
  4. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    Or the boyfriend, or random folks on the internet.
     
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  5. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Never allow ANYONE or ANYTHING to reside in YOUR home, EXCEPT your minor children, your lawfully wedded spouse, perhaps your parents, your pets, and COMMON SENSE.

    If you do choose to date someone after this subsides, don't allow IT to enter your home, much less reside in it.

    Good luck.
     
    Anne1982, retic, Zigner and 1 other person like this.
  6. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    Odds are the DA will view this as mutual combat and nothing will happen.
    You can still seek a restraining order that may require him to move out.
     
  7. flyingron

    flyingron Well-Known Member

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    Mutual combat isn't legal either. Crime is not perp vs. victim. It's society that's harmed by criminal activity and the state brings the charges on the behalf of the people at large.
     
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  8. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Just a tip from an old dude who has seen most everything to be seen.

    If you THINK/SUSPECT he/she/it is cheating on you, no need to ask him/her/it for proof.

    All that'll do is start another argument.

    If you suspect infidelity IMMEDIATELY end the permanently broken relationship.

    Cheaters, rapists, child molesters, thieves, dope addicts, and liars never change.

    All of the above BUFFOONS just become better miscreants, committing even more vile misdeeds.

    You did nothing wrong.

    You were faithful.

    Why should you have to do all the work to remain in a broken, never could be repaired, because to the cheater; it was never a relationship. You were like a paper towel, toilet paper, or tissue; just something to be used, abused, and discarded.

    You deserve better, don't you?
     
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  9. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    I did not mean to imply that mutual combat is legal, just that it is unlikely to be prosecuted. As described here, this will be a very weak case to pursue against either party as they were equal aggressors.
     
  10. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    The police can recommend charges but ultimately, the prosecutor assigned to the case decides what charges they are going to file. So it's up to the DA at this point. Yes you can 100% hire a lawyer if you can afford to do so.

    You can always refuse to cooperate but they can pursue charges even if you don't cooperate with them.

    It's not really in your hands at this point what happens. It's up to the DA. Anything can happen. The DA could file charges against him, you, or both of you. Or file no charges.

    It wouldn't hurt to find lawyers who offer free consultations and get some free 30 min advice from them to know what your options are.
     

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