Domestic both sides

[EzmieVida]

Jurisdiction

Washington

Me and my boyfriend got into an argument about two and a half months ago and we we ended up physically fighting and I had to go back to my mom's house. And in order for me to go back move back in I had to get a no contact order that's what my mom said so we went to the local police station and I file for a no contact order and I might've said things exaggerating about the situation that now he has a $100,000 bill Chargers are first degree kidnapping and a second degree assault charges on him. My question is since I did not say he kidnapped me. Is there any way for me to help him get that kidnapping charge off us as a couple went to still be together but now we have a no contact order is there any way or anything I can do to remove that do we have to go to any counseling classes to remove it what is it that I have to do since he is incarserated.?

 

[army judge]

Me and my boyfriend got into an argument about two and a half months ago and we we ended up physically fighting and I had to go back to my mom's house. And in order for me to go back move back in I had to get a no contact order that's what my mom said so we went to the local police station and I file for a no contact order and I might've said things exaggerating about the situation that now he has a $100,000 bill Chargers are first degree kidnapping and a second degree assault charges on him. My question is since I did not say he kidnapped me. Is there any way for me to help him get that kidnapping charge off us as a couple went to still be together but now we have a no contact order is there any way or anything I can do to remove that do we have to go to any counseling classes to remove it what is it that I have to do since he is incarserated.?

The no contact order isn't going to be rescinded because your memory has suddenly improved.

If you LIED to receive the order and suddenly must now tell the truth, be prepared to get charged for lying to the police, perhaps you perjured yourself when you signed the affidavit, or worse.

But, if you feel like blabbing AGAIN, go ahead and tell the prosecutor you lied because your mother told you to do so.

You might not be happy with what happens to you, if your beater/abuser is set free.

 

[mightymoose]

Agreed. Your are best of to keep quiet.

You may borot have used the word "kidnap" but likely described a scenario that meets the legal elements of the crime. The district attorney, not the police, determined there was enough evidence to support the charges.

You risk digging yourself into a hole if you set out to try and save him.

What you can do, if anything, is notify the district attorney that you no longer wish to testify in the case. How they choose to proceed with that information is up to them.

 

[EzmieVida]

Agreed. Your are best of to keep quiet.

You may borot have used the word "kidnap" but likely described a scenario that meets the legal elements of the crime. The district attorney, not the police, determined there was enough evidence to support the charges.

You risk digging yourself into a hole if you set out to try and save him.

What you can do, if anything, is notify the district attorney that you no longer wish to testify in the case. How they choose to proceed with that information is up to them.

Thank you very much for your advice. I appreciate it. But I never was lying to the cop I said wat I said but never once did I say he kidnapped me. Your right now that my memory has suddenly improved. But I heard around of this one couple that had gotten a no contact order til 2047 and they bith managed to take it off by going to some classes. So I was just wanting to knw more information on how to remove a no contact order

 

[army judge]

So I was just wanting to knw more information on how to remove a no contact order

Ask yourself this question: "How many times can HE beat the "jiminy cricket" outta me, before I get a "no contact order?

Is it okay for him to beat the "hog butter outta you, ONE time?

Maybe you will let him "bloody your nose once", and "blacken your eyes, twice"?

Some women say their abuser needs at least TEN times before they've had enough.

So, how many times is it okay for him to "knock you around", as long as he doesn't break any bones?

Only you can decide, ma'am, if one beating requires a "no contact order".

I can tell you this, beaters don't just stop with one or two beatings.

If you were to ask the other women he's been with (and is probably with today besides you), I'm guessing the minimum is about ten beatings or thumpings a year, probably many more.

If you love him enough to let him beat the "stink" outta you, I have no problem with that.

Your children, as they grow older will get to see those beatings and thumpings.
Your daughters will think that its okay for "their man" to use them for "beat test dummies".
Your sons will see him as a shining example of manhood, and how a "real man" needs to keep "his property" in check.

We become the things we observed as children.

Years ago I prosecuted a case of a soldier who was arrested by the MPs for beating his wife.
I interviewed their two children about what happened.
The oldest one was a boy, age seven.
He said, "Nothing happened, 'cause daddy was just showing mommy some love, the way I do sissy."
Sissy was all of four years old at the time.
One of the saddest case I've ever seen.
The victim, the "thumper's spouse" sustained a concussion, two black eyes, two detached retinas, a skull fracture, four front teeth knocked out, and was in a coma for six days.
I've often said a "restraining order" wouldn't have saved her.
She should have left the savage beast the first time he raised his voice to her.

Be careful, ma'am, that could be you one day.

 

[leslie82]

Me and my boyfriend got into an argument about two and a half months ago and we we ended up physically fighting and I had to go back to my mom's house. And in order for me to go back move back in I had to get a no contact order that's what my mom said so we went to the local police station and I file for a no contact order and I might've said things exaggerating about the situation that now he has a $100,000 bill Chargers are first degree kidnapping and a second degree assault charges on him. My question is since I did not say he kidnapped me. Is there any way for me to help him get that kidnapping charge off us as a couple went to still be together but now we have a no contact order is there any way or anything I can do to remove that do we have to go to any counseling classes to remove it what is it that I have to do since he is incarserated.?

What the hell happened that he got charged with those charges? You "exaggerated" a little? Holy hell.

It doesn't matter if you said he kidnapped you or not. The DA/county attorney felt he/she had enough evidence to charge him with kidnapping and assault. You aren't getting any charges dropped. The prosecutor on the case will determine any charges being dropped. If they end up not having sufficient evidence they might drop it or if they offer him a plea. But you have no impact on that.

The no contact order will not necessarily go away. You can try to go to the victim witness unit at the county court and talk to them and they can ask the judge to drop it. But that's no guarantee. People who have been abused recant, change stories all the time. Why would you want to be with him still? I was there - my ex husband got charged with aggravated assault on me and he plead guilty. I stayed with him like a moron. Trust me that guy is never going to change.

What you NEED to do is break off all contact and stay away from him for your own sake. It's just going to continue and lead to disaster and heartache. You might even end up dead next time it happens.