divorce decree

[hlca]

question,

my ex filled for divorce in New Mexico while i was in Texas serving in the military, this was back in 1999 when the divorced was final and i retired from the military in 2006. i pay child support till my 2 kids turn 19 or graduate HS witch ever comes first. my oldest is about to graduate HS next month, and i ill admit i missed a few child support payment due to the economy and loosing jobs but i did make some payments to her. i have no problem making up my missed payment, the problem is she has told me if she want's a notorized letter saying i will make up the payment also she wants in the letter that i will give her half my check every 2 weeks. also she wants me to put in there that i will help with my oldest child college. if i dont do that she will fille to the court that i have missed payment and she will also file for my retirement pension if i dont do this. to me thats blackmail "i wont apply if i get what i want" is there a time limit that she has to file for my pension or can she keep using that against me to get what she wants. also we never made recalcualated the child suport after i got out of the military so i probably have been giving her more than i would of had too since i was making way less then when i was in the military.

 

[Duranie]

First of all you should check with an attorney but she cannot go back and get any of your retirement if she was not awarded it in the decree. If you are beinh on CS payments then make payments through the CS bureau. Do not sign anything or listen to her. She cannot fore you to pay for half of college unless you agreed to it in the decree. Also you should NOT be making any payments to her if you are ordered to make them through the clearinghouse. Those can be seen as gifts.

so stop listening to her and work out your arrears with the CS bureau.

 

[hlca]

well this ia what it says on the decree about the retirement

" the respondent has militarty retirement and other benefits acquired during hte marriage and said benefits should be devided equally between the parties and this court should retain jurisdiction for the entry of a qualified domestic relation order related to said military benifits."

 

[hlca]

can someone kinda tell me what its actually saying on that paragraph

 

[irish223]

well this ia what it says on the decree about the retirement

" the respondent has militarty retirement and other benefits acquired during hte marriage and said benefits should be devided equally between the parties and this court should retain jurisdiction for the entry of a qualified domestic relation order related to said military benifits."

I believe this means that she can go back to court, as she threatened, and get an order for a share of your retirement benefits. Even if you give her what she wants, and have it notarized, she can still go back to court for the QDRO. Notarized agreements are not usually binding in court.

I agree that you shouldn't pay any more than required by your court order, and you should take care of the arrears before they become a real problem.

 

[hlca]

k, here is a million dollar question. if she remarries can she still get it or does it cancel it out ?

 

[irish223]

Here's the million dollar answer:

Retirement benefits are considered marital assets that accrued during the course of your marriage. That is, it's not like alimony or maintenance. So, whether or not your ex remarries should have no effect on her claim to a share of the benefits.

If she pursues the QDRO, I would suggest an attorney. Normally, her share of your retirement would include only those benefits that accrued during the marriage. An attorney can help to make sure that the benefits are divided accurately.

 

[hlca]

well i was already in the military 5 yrs when i married her and we was married 8 yrs. so now that we have been divorced 10 yrs she can come back and try to get my retirement. also now from what your saying my other e x can get her postion of my retirement then or does she cancel her out ? cause if thats the case she can remarry 4 times and if they retire she can claim all their portion.

 

[irish223]

What I said is that, normally, she is entitled to the retirement benefits that accrued while you were married. You need to consult an attorney to determine how much of your pension that really is. I think military pensions may be a bit different, so you should consult an attorney who is familiar with it.

If she contributed to, or earned a pension during that time, then you should have been entitled to your share also. If you didn't attend the original hearings, and didn't have representation, then I will assume that no one requested that. Now it's too late.

Your other ex can also claim a portion of your retirement if it was ordered in your divorce decree. If not, then she's out of luck.

Sorry that this isn't what you were hoping for.

 

[hlca]

it just makes me mad that she uses that im going to file for your retirement if you dont give me this or that. yes i missed the hearing i was not able to be there since she did it out of state and she knew i was not going to be able to take the time off to go there everytime i needed too..