Pro Se Mother Justice
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- Washington
SUMMARIZED (2 YEAR) HISTORY:
(scroll to see questions for attorneys)
Son's father was ordered to have a domestic violence evaluation. Results: high on the Histrionic and Narcissistic scales.
Son's father was able to procure "evidence" of me being an "unstable parent". His agenda? Revenge for not allowing him to move back in with me and our son after already abandoning our son, willfully, for over a year (son was only 2 1/2 years old at the time). Court ordered me to have non-professional supervised visitation, only 2 days per week, 2 hours per day.
Submitted a supervisor oath signed by a good friend. Instantly rejected by son's father and his attorney. Reason? Because she is addicted to drugs, has a "group sex" tape (Tape? Do people still make VHS tapes?), and lives in a shack or outhouse. Of course all slanderous lies, since his goal is to use our son as a weapon to harm me. He literally does not care about our son's well-being. After she (friend) came to trial in support of me, he attempted to cost her her job, as retaliation.
Submitted another supervisor oath from my former therapist who literally contracts with CPS to provide supervised visitations for people in CPS custody disputes (ours is a "private dispute", not CPS related). Rejected.
Five (5) months later, after piecing my life together financially and making a new friend who he had no association with or ability to reject as a supervisor... Five months of my 3-4 year old son not being held by his loving, doting mother - his only parent equipped with Empathy - I was finally able to see my son. We started with the 2 hour visits twice per week, until I submitted a damning declaration of evidence disputing his claims against my good friend who he slandered and tried to cost her job. Suddenly, I was seeing my son as frequently as my new friend's time allowed.... 30+ hours per week became the status quo. Though, I never filed a motion to have the declaration reviewed in court, feeling powerless without an attorney at the time. But it seemed enough to scare my son's father into giving us whatever days and times we wanted with my son.
After my son reporting abuse to me and my supervisor/friend and taking my son to the hospital, my friend withdrew as supervisor out of fear of retaliation on her and her family. CPS took no action, due to "lack of evidence". We remain close, as I nannied for her four (4) children, all under the age of 8, for many months before my current position that I've held for the past 6 months. She started advocating for me via text with my son's father to just have some alone time with my son, since it was clear that's all he desperately wanted. Just some alone time with mama with no competition from four (4) girls. That's when my son's father started lashing out, passively suggesting we go back to 2 days per week, 2 hours at a time.
Maybe you've gathered already that my son's father isn't quite right. I don't need to try to convince anyone. I have an army of people behind me; from co-workers to new friends and all of their associates...
After my friend withdrew as supervisor due to feeling unsafe, I have not seen my son for another four (4) months. I'm being advised by attorneys that I need to fulfill a $1500 mental health evaluation (out of my current budget) and 16 week parenting class before a judge will hear me. But do you know what I cannot hear? The lies. Because no respectable Judge or Commissioner is just going to ignore what's really going on. Not with the evidence I have...
With much hesitation, I submitted another supervisor oath, submitted by my partner whom I've been with for the past 9 or so months. Someone I first met when we were teenagers and recently reconnected as adults (we're in our late 30's). I sent a copy to my son's father's attorney, along with 2 other e-mails. No response. I sent a copy directly to my son's father. His response was "I will have to do a background check." He had already done a background check last year when first learning of our relationship (My son's father is a felon and a "recovered" addict). I pressed him Monday for when I could expect a response regarding a day and time for me to see our son. He said "(name) is a conflict of interest." I said "Do you mean a conflict of YOUR interest?" No response. So I said, "Are you currently representing yourself?" No Response.
It turns out he's been representing himself for... possibly months now. Apparently his attorney who practices criminal law finally dropped him, due to... Probably being professionally reprimanded. He was reprimanded by the judge who oversaw our trial last year, in a very cryptic way, but I was able to pick up on the tells. The same happened at the review hearing to deliver final orders... I had submitted my declaration with all evidence disputing his demoralizing claims against my good friend who he rejected as a supervisor, attaching his attorney's e-mails. But what I did not realize at the time was that the judge's hands were tied because it was not the appropriate procedure to submit that evidence at that time. I should have filed a motion, etc. Yet, she had reviewed what I had submitted and was visibly livid with my son's father and his attorney at the final orders hearing, even stating "and let your client know I am not pleased with him." (son's father was not present for hearing)
Now that I know he does not have representation and that no one (attorney-wise) will touch him with a 10 foot pole, frankly, all of the money I had just set aside to hire an attorney would be better spent helping my son re-adjust to a normal life back with his mother. I've been pro-se for two (2) years now, and while I'm not an egotistical Narcissist like my son's father, I believe that there are other ways to utilize the system to make it work for you, without an attorney. My life is dedicated to my son, so the last response I want here, on this forum, is: "My best advice is; you need an attorney." Thanks, but no thanks. I know how to read. I have a legal advocate through the YWCA. I just want compassionate, solid answers to real, legal questions.
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QUESTIONS:
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I am going to file a motion for emergency relief. Clearly this is "Abusive Use of Conflict", him denying everyone who signs on as a supervisor and then terrorizing people in support of me. The evidence is all in texts I'm submitting and previously submitted, unreviewed declaration...
- If a judge finds my evidence of abusive use of conflict satisfactory, what orders could be expected? What relief could be expected?
- What type of relief is reasonable to ask for, given the circumstances?
- How could I go about finding out whether or not my son's father actually was dumped by his attorney?
- I have not fulfilled a $1500 mental health evaluation or a 16 week parenting class, due to costs. If I enroll in the 16 week parenting class literally now, while showing evidence of an agency I've been in contact with in regards to starting the mental health evaluation process, is this going to be substantial enough to grant me the emergency relief I'm asking for? What I've come to find out is that a "mental health evaluation" takes 2-3 months to complete. I'm not a criminal. I'm not unstable. I'm just a mother trying her damndest to protect her son. The only things I have "against me" are the false claims from my son's father, whom I have not been in a relationship with for at least three (3) years now.
CONTEMPT OF COURT:
- Is it appropriate in this emergency relief motion to address the ways that he is in contempt? He was ordered to either enroll our son in daycare or preschool, which he did not. Instead, he isolates our son with him. He takes our son to work with him. He is not educating our son. He is also not vaccinating our son. He is not following up on medical visits.
- He has not followed up with the 6 follow-up sessions recommended by the person who gave him the domestic violence evaluation. This was ordered by the court.
- No drug/alcohol assessment (contempt).
- Has not taken our son for an evaluation (contempt).
---------------------------
I need thoughts and guidance. I will not hire an attorney. I do not have $10,000-$20,000 laying around as a down-payment. I do not have bad credit, but I also do not have credit for this type of loan. I do not have three (3) weeks to wait to get into another free "legal clinic", just to hear another attorney tell me "my best advice is: Get an attorney."
Thank you, sincerely, for taking the time to review my circumstances. I've been patient. I've been strong. Now, is the time, to take action. Please, person to person, I need your professional thoughts.
- Pro Se Mother Justice
(scroll to see questions for attorneys)
Son's father was ordered to have a domestic violence evaluation. Results: high on the Histrionic and Narcissistic scales.
Son's father was able to procure "evidence" of me being an "unstable parent". His agenda? Revenge for not allowing him to move back in with me and our son after already abandoning our son, willfully, for over a year (son was only 2 1/2 years old at the time). Court ordered me to have non-professional supervised visitation, only 2 days per week, 2 hours per day.
Submitted a supervisor oath signed by a good friend. Instantly rejected by son's father and his attorney. Reason? Because she is addicted to drugs, has a "group sex" tape (Tape? Do people still make VHS tapes?), and lives in a shack or outhouse. Of course all slanderous lies, since his goal is to use our son as a weapon to harm me. He literally does not care about our son's well-being. After she (friend) came to trial in support of me, he attempted to cost her her job, as retaliation.
Submitted another supervisor oath from my former therapist who literally contracts with CPS to provide supervised visitations for people in CPS custody disputes (ours is a "private dispute", not CPS related). Rejected.
Five (5) months later, after piecing my life together financially and making a new friend who he had no association with or ability to reject as a supervisor... Five months of my 3-4 year old son not being held by his loving, doting mother - his only parent equipped with Empathy - I was finally able to see my son. We started with the 2 hour visits twice per week, until I submitted a damning declaration of evidence disputing his claims against my good friend who he slandered and tried to cost her job. Suddenly, I was seeing my son as frequently as my new friend's time allowed.... 30+ hours per week became the status quo. Though, I never filed a motion to have the declaration reviewed in court, feeling powerless without an attorney at the time. But it seemed enough to scare my son's father into giving us whatever days and times we wanted with my son.
After my son reporting abuse to me and my supervisor/friend and taking my son to the hospital, my friend withdrew as supervisor out of fear of retaliation on her and her family. CPS took no action, due to "lack of evidence". We remain close, as I nannied for her four (4) children, all under the age of 8, for many months before my current position that I've held for the past 6 months. She started advocating for me via text with my son's father to just have some alone time with my son, since it was clear that's all he desperately wanted. Just some alone time with mama with no competition from four (4) girls. That's when my son's father started lashing out, passively suggesting we go back to 2 days per week, 2 hours at a time.
Maybe you've gathered already that my son's father isn't quite right. I don't need to try to convince anyone. I have an army of people behind me; from co-workers to new friends and all of their associates...
After my friend withdrew as supervisor due to feeling unsafe, I have not seen my son for another four (4) months. I'm being advised by attorneys that I need to fulfill a $1500 mental health evaluation (out of my current budget) and 16 week parenting class before a judge will hear me. But do you know what I cannot hear? The lies. Because no respectable Judge or Commissioner is just going to ignore what's really going on. Not with the evidence I have...
With much hesitation, I submitted another supervisor oath, submitted by my partner whom I've been with for the past 9 or so months. Someone I first met when we were teenagers and recently reconnected as adults (we're in our late 30's). I sent a copy to my son's father's attorney, along with 2 other e-mails. No response. I sent a copy directly to my son's father. His response was "I will have to do a background check." He had already done a background check last year when first learning of our relationship (My son's father is a felon and a "recovered" addict). I pressed him Monday for when I could expect a response regarding a day and time for me to see our son. He said "(name) is a conflict of interest." I said "Do you mean a conflict of YOUR interest?" No response. So I said, "Are you currently representing yourself?" No Response.
It turns out he's been representing himself for... possibly months now. Apparently his attorney who practices criminal law finally dropped him, due to... Probably being professionally reprimanded. He was reprimanded by the judge who oversaw our trial last year, in a very cryptic way, but I was able to pick up on the tells. The same happened at the review hearing to deliver final orders... I had submitted my declaration with all evidence disputing his demoralizing claims against my good friend who he rejected as a supervisor, attaching his attorney's e-mails. But what I did not realize at the time was that the judge's hands were tied because it was not the appropriate procedure to submit that evidence at that time. I should have filed a motion, etc. Yet, she had reviewed what I had submitted and was visibly livid with my son's father and his attorney at the final orders hearing, even stating "and let your client know I am not pleased with him." (son's father was not present for hearing)
Now that I know he does not have representation and that no one (attorney-wise) will touch him with a 10 foot pole, frankly, all of the money I had just set aside to hire an attorney would be better spent helping my son re-adjust to a normal life back with his mother. I've been pro-se for two (2) years now, and while I'm not an egotistical Narcissist like my son's father, I believe that there are other ways to utilize the system to make it work for you, without an attorney. My life is dedicated to my son, so the last response I want here, on this forum, is: "My best advice is; you need an attorney." Thanks, but no thanks. I know how to read. I have a legal advocate through the YWCA. I just want compassionate, solid answers to real, legal questions.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QUESTIONS:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am going to file a motion for emergency relief. Clearly this is "Abusive Use of Conflict", him denying everyone who signs on as a supervisor and then terrorizing people in support of me. The evidence is all in texts I'm submitting and previously submitted, unreviewed declaration...
- If a judge finds my evidence of abusive use of conflict satisfactory, what orders could be expected? What relief could be expected?
- What type of relief is reasonable to ask for, given the circumstances?
- How could I go about finding out whether or not my son's father actually was dumped by his attorney?
- I have not fulfilled a $1500 mental health evaluation or a 16 week parenting class, due to costs. If I enroll in the 16 week parenting class literally now, while showing evidence of an agency I've been in contact with in regards to starting the mental health evaluation process, is this going to be substantial enough to grant me the emergency relief I'm asking for? What I've come to find out is that a "mental health evaluation" takes 2-3 months to complete. I'm not a criminal. I'm not unstable. I'm just a mother trying her damndest to protect her son. The only things I have "against me" are the false claims from my son's father, whom I have not been in a relationship with for at least three (3) years now.
CONTEMPT OF COURT:
- Is it appropriate in this emergency relief motion to address the ways that he is in contempt? He was ordered to either enroll our son in daycare or preschool, which he did not. Instead, he isolates our son with him. He takes our son to work with him. He is not educating our son. He is also not vaccinating our son. He is not following up on medical visits.
- He has not followed up with the 6 follow-up sessions recommended by the person who gave him the domestic violence evaluation. This was ordered by the court.
- No drug/alcohol assessment (contempt).
- Has not taken our son for an evaluation (contempt).
---------------------------
I need thoughts and guidance. I will not hire an attorney. I do not have $10,000-$20,000 laying around as a down-payment. I do not have bad credit, but I also do not have credit for this type of loan. I do not have three (3) weeks to wait to get into another free "legal clinic", just to hear another attorney tell me "my best advice is: Get an attorney."
Thank you, sincerely, for taking the time to review my circumstances. I've been patient. I've been strong. Now, is the time, to take action. Please, person to person, I need your professional thoughts.
- Pro Se Mother Justice
