Desperate for advice re: forgotten grandmother

[Brokengrandgirl]

Jurisdiction

Missouri

I apologize ahead of time for the length but I'm in desperate need of advice so here goes. Thank you in advance!
My surrogate grandmother (whose only child was killed in Vietnam) has 2 surrogate granddaughters, including myself. I have always been very active in her life, as I did not have living grandparents when I was born. The other surrogate granddaughter had both sets and was not around much once I turned about 3. When I became an adult, I moved away from Missouri where she lived to live my life with my now husband in Georgia. I wasn't getting to see her as much anymore as I would have liked. All of a sudden one day about 2 1/2 years ago, I got a call from Barnes Jewish hospital in St. Louis (she lives in Kennett, Southern Missouri) saying that I was listed as her emergency contact on her medical paperwork and that she was out of emergency surgery and in recovery. I didn't even know she had been sick. So I started digging and found out that the other surrogate had stepped in and had her deemed incompetent due to early dementia and put in a nursing home and forgot about (literally, she hadn't even visited.) I started doing research and found that the other surrogate had filed for Guardianship and conservatorship for grandma. Not only that, but she had it put on every list that I could find, that I was not to be told a word about grandma. Not even that she was present. Anyway, backtracking a little, when I was little, grandma used to tease me saying "all this will be yours when I'm gone" but swear she didn't believe in wills or trusts or even life insurance. WIth me not being a legal relative, she was told, I wouldn't get anything, but her attorney finally convinced her to put a POD or TOD on her home, car, and bank account. It is even evident in her home, 30% of everything that resides on that property is my belongings. It was my second home for 17 years, and a happy escape from life even after that. Now, even though I have attempted on many occasions to contact the other surrogate to come to peaceable solution to this, she refuses to acknowledge me. Now I have found out through the circuit clerk that she has filed a petition to sell the property and car, after depleting all the resources in the bank account (besides grandmas monthly benefit check). I've checked with the recorder of deeds and I'm still listed as POD. I don't want the property for the money, but for my belongings that are there and the sentimental items INSIDE the home. I have 2 business days to file something and I'm not sure what to file. I'm willing to compromise, but grandma's true wishes are very well documented in the photos of us everywhere, my dedicated bedroom, and the fact that she made me her sole heir. I just need to know where to go from here. I don't have the funds to hire an attorney for the whole case, I'm going to have to do this myself. I'm not a total newbie, I was a legal secretary for 4 years off and on, so I do know conduct and legal jargon without getting totally lost. I look forward to your answers!

 

[army judge]

You need a lawyer to investigate your options, hire one if its about the sentimental stuff, not the loot.

Don't post the same content twice.

Keep all of your comments in this thread.
I deleted the duplicate post.

 

[Brokengrandgirl]

You need a lawyer to investigate your options, hire one if its about the sentimental stuff, not the loot.

Don't post the same content twice.

Keep all of your comments in this thread.
I deleted the duplicate post.

Thank you. I apologize, it's my first time posting and I posted in the wrong group and couldn't figure out how to edit so I just copied. And thank you for the advice, I am speaking with an attorney this afternoon.

 

[Disabled Vet]

You need to step up with a lawyer to do this. Not something you should untake on your own. Plus, Grandma is still alive so its still all her stuff. So you will need a lawyer to sort thru what the other person is trying to do.

 

[adjusterjack]

I don't have the funds to hire an attorney

Then you are done before you start.

I don't see you having any "legal" claim to anything. The PODs are meaningless while granny is alive. The property can be sold, the bank accounts and vehicles can have the POD's removed.

Personal property is presumed to be owned by whoever possesses so anything you say is yours you will have to prove with receipts for particular items.

 

[zddoodah]

My surrogate grandmother (whose only child was killed in Vietnam) has 2 surrogate granddaughters, including myself.

I assume your reference to this woman as a "surrogate grandmother" means you and she are not actually related in any way. Correct?

her attorney finally convinced her to put a POD or TOD on her home, car, and bank account.

How do you know this? Did you see the documents making these designations?

I have attempted on many occasions to contact the other surrogate to come to peaceable solution to this, she refuses to acknowledge me.

A solution to what?

grandma's true wishes are very well documented in the photos of us everywhere, my dedicated bedroom, and the fact that she made me her sole heir.

First of all, unless she made a will, you're not an heir, much less sole heir. Second, wishes documented by photos and you having a bedroom in her house are legally meaningless.

I just need to know where to go from here. I don't have the funds to hire an attorney for the whole case, I'm going to have to do this myself.

Posting on a message board only two business days in advance of the deadline was certainly not the way to deal with this. I don't know if anyone here is from Missouri, but it's unlikely that anyone could or would guide you through the process.