I thought I would throw this topic out there for anybody interested in discussion- sorry for the length in advance!
How does one deal with the guilt that accompanies being caught shoplifting? I am experiencing panic, stress, guilt, and most of all, SHAME. In my opinion, shoplifting is one of the only completely unjustifiable crimes one can commit- I saw the signature of user StoreDetectiveVet that says, "Please check one of the following for your lame excuse for shoplifting: Depressed/under medicated/over medicated/off your meds/sad/mentally ill/single mother/single father/death in the family/friend made you do it/item magically teleported into your bag" and it really struck a chord with me. Many shoplifters HAVE the money to pay- I did in my case- but unmitigated greed won against my moral conscience. Shoplifting can only be justified, in my opinion, if it's a crime of poverty- i.e. someone who is starving stealing food. Most other crimes can be justified in some way, regardless of the legality- think of a good, law-abiding couple who goes out to dinner, underestimates the wine they drank and are just over the limit, and winds up with DWI. They didn't intend on doing anything wrong in that scenario, although I do not ever condone drinking and driving, but it's not like it's common for people to carry around breathalyzers. Or someone with an addiction caught copping- addiction is ugly and not an excuse, but I feel more compassion for someone in that circumstance (although I'm biased- I think non-violent drug offenders should be sent to rehab, not clogging up our prisons). Even murder is sometimes justified, as in the cases of self-defense. But stealing? Who really needs that makeup, article of clothing, or accessory? I guess what I'm saying is that, in my opinion, it all comes down to intent- some crimes are not intentionally committed, committed because of a person's survival instinct, or have strong mitigating factors that may help to explain one's behavior. However, shoplifting is always a strategic, intentional action that someone chooses to do, especially when one has the money to pay for stolen items. I've read that it's very common for shoplifters to be unable to explain why they stole- as is the case for me- and that is simply because there is no "good" reason.
Some argue that "Big Box" stores are evil and make enough money to eat the cost of their stealing, as though they were committing some "noble" act of civil disobedience, but it all comes down to greed. I can't help but feel like I am morally corrupt and unworthy of respect after being caught. Who am I to take what is not mine? I am an adult, reasonably intelligent, know right from wrong, and live fairly comfortably. I know some on this site have stolen habitually before they were caught, and some were caught on a first offense, and still others may have impulse control issues, or even kleptomania. Based on the variety of experiences, I was wondering how you all dealt with the feelings of shame and anxiety of being caught. Right now, I am particularly anxious because I don't know what will happen- although due to the great advice and info on this site, I'm somewhat relieved that it'll probably "only" be a civil demand fine- but I have bad anxiety and have panic attacks, and I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly since this happened due to the anxiety. I said in my original post that I had an "egregious lack of judgment," but I feel like it's so much more than that. I know good people do bad things, but there's NO REASON why I couldn't fork over $49 for the items I wanted.
Some discussion questions:
1. Do you feel you were justified in your shoplifting?
2. Have you suffered guilt, shame, and anxiety after you were caught? How did you deal with it?
3. Did you steal after you were caught, or have the urge to? Did you shoplift before you were caught?
4. For LP people who might read this- any thoughts on dealing with shoplifters on a regular basis? Do you believe they're scum, or are some of them "good people" who made a mistake?
5. How do you feel about shoplifting because of poverty- essential items like food, shoes, or clothing? Is that more acceptable/justifiable to you?
Sorry this is so long- I cannot bear the shame of sharing what I've done with anyone in my life, and I'm just trying to release some of my pent-up emotions. I hope this is appropriate to post.
How does one deal with the guilt that accompanies being caught shoplifting? I am experiencing panic, stress, guilt, and most of all, SHAME. In my opinion, shoplifting is one of the only completely unjustifiable crimes one can commit- I saw the signature of user StoreDetectiveVet that says, "Please check one of the following for your lame excuse for shoplifting: Depressed/under medicated/over medicated/off your meds/sad/mentally ill/single mother/single father/death in the family/friend made you do it/item magically teleported into your bag" and it really struck a chord with me. Many shoplifters HAVE the money to pay- I did in my case- but unmitigated greed won against my moral conscience. Shoplifting can only be justified, in my opinion, if it's a crime of poverty- i.e. someone who is starving stealing food. Most other crimes can be justified in some way, regardless of the legality- think of a good, law-abiding couple who goes out to dinner, underestimates the wine they drank and are just over the limit, and winds up with DWI. They didn't intend on doing anything wrong in that scenario, although I do not ever condone drinking and driving, but it's not like it's common for people to carry around breathalyzers. Or someone with an addiction caught copping- addiction is ugly and not an excuse, but I feel more compassion for someone in that circumstance (although I'm biased- I think non-violent drug offenders should be sent to rehab, not clogging up our prisons). Even murder is sometimes justified, as in the cases of self-defense. But stealing? Who really needs that makeup, article of clothing, or accessory? I guess what I'm saying is that, in my opinion, it all comes down to intent- some crimes are not intentionally committed, committed because of a person's survival instinct, or have strong mitigating factors that may help to explain one's behavior. However, shoplifting is always a strategic, intentional action that someone chooses to do, especially when one has the money to pay for stolen items. I've read that it's very common for shoplifters to be unable to explain why they stole- as is the case for me- and that is simply because there is no "good" reason.
Some argue that "Big Box" stores are evil and make enough money to eat the cost of their stealing, as though they were committing some "noble" act of civil disobedience, but it all comes down to greed. I can't help but feel like I am morally corrupt and unworthy of respect after being caught. Who am I to take what is not mine? I am an adult, reasonably intelligent, know right from wrong, and live fairly comfortably. I know some on this site have stolen habitually before they were caught, and some were caught on a first offense, and still others may have impulse control issues, or even kleptomania. Based on the variety of experiences, I was wondering how you all dealt with the feelings of shame and anxiety of being caught. Right now, I am particularly anxious because I don't know what will happen- although due to the great advice and info on this site, I'm somewhat relieved that it'll probably "only" be a civil demand fine- but I have bad anxiety and have panic attacks, and I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly since this happened due to the anxiety. I said in my original post that I had an "egregious lack of judgment," but I feel like it's so much more than that. I know good people do bad things, but there's NO REASON why I couldn't fork over $49 for the items I wanted.
Some discussion questions:
1. Do you feel you were justified in your shoplifting?
2. Have you suffered guilt, shame, and anxiety after you were caught? How did you deal with it?
3. Did you steal after you were caught, or have the urge to? Did you shoplift before you were caught?
4. For LP people who might read this- any thoughts on dealing with shoplifters on a regular basis? Do you believe they're scum, or are some of them "good people" who made a mistake?
5. How do you feel about shoplifting because of poverty- essential items like food, shoes, or clothing? Is that more acceptable/justifiable to you?
Sorry this is so long- I cannot bear the shame of sharing what I've done with anyone in my life, and I'm just trying to release some of my pent-up emotions. I hope this is appropriate to post.
