Custody rights if noncustodial parent molested our son

Status
Not open for further replies.
C

camsa167

Banned
Jurisdiction
California
I want to know if I will get in trouble for not letting my ex husband see our son, whose sole custody I have. He has visitation rights to have him every other weekend. Recently, son confessed to me that father was molesting him , and ever since then I have not let him go to his father again, since I am trying to protecy my 7 year old son from not getting abused . I told ex if he had a problem to take this to court again but I did say he would lose based on the accusations son is making. He is not trying to fight for our son and he is also behind child support for6 months now. Please, advise on what I should do?
 
I understand that but that means they will ask my son questions and my son does not want to talk about it to others. Also, will I get in trouble if he decides to take me to court for not letting him see his son?
 
"Also, will I get in trouble if he decides to take me to court for not letting him see his son?"

Not if you report the crime
 
camsa167 said:
Also, will I get in trouble if he decides to take me to court for not letting him see his son?
Click to expand...

Not if there is a very good reason so you definitely need to report the child molestation.
 
Call the LEO and report the abuse. Take Son to a counselor, because it's now or later. Best for him to work out the psychological trauma now.
 
camsa167 said:
I want to know if I will get in trouble for not letting my ex husband see our son, whose sole custody I have. He has visitation rights to have him every other weekend. Recently, son confessed to me that father was molesting him , and ever since then I have not let him go to his father again, since I am trying to protecy my 7 year old son from not getting abused . I told ex if he had a problem to take this to court again but I did say he would lose based on the accusations son is making. He is not trying to fight for our son and he is also behind child support for6 months now. Please, advise on what I should do?
Click to expand...

Did you call the police yet? If you haven't called the police yet then you're going to look really bad if you do get taken back to court.

That's the first thing I would do if my daughter told me anyone at all molested her.

You should probably call the police, file a report, let them investigate and then you take him to court.

Of course your son doesn't want to talk about it but he is going to have to or if his father did do this, he will get away with it.

What if he is making it up because he had a fight with his dad? I'm not saying he did make it up BUT sometimes kids do make it up. Sometimes kids are coached. So that is why YOU need to report it to the police yesterday so that you have that on your side. It needs to be looked into by the people who know what they are doing.

If you don't, as stated, you will get in trouble for not reporting it.
 
camsa167 said:
I am sorry are all the people giving advice here lawyers or just regular people like me?
Click to expand...

There are two lawyers (that I know of) on this site but they have not responded yet.

The rest of us are just regular people like you, but the difference is that we have been participating on these legal forums for many, many years, have read the same issues over and over again, have criminal and civil law resources at our fingertips, and know what we are talking about.

You can easily find the other legal forums online and ask the same question and I can pretty much guarantee you that you'll get the same responses from laymen and lawyers.
 
camsa167 said:
I am sorry are all the people giving advice here lawyers or just regular people like me?
Click to expand...
It's pretty solid advice. You HAVE to report any abuse to police whether it was your kid or not. What if someone else was told about this and didn't report it to the police or to you?
 
If you do not report the molestation(the reason that you are denying visitation), then you are in violation of court ordered visitation. You can get in trouble for that and you can be forced to allow him his visitation. If you let it go that far, then try to bring up the molestation, you may not be believed at that time.
 
camsa167 said:
I am sorry are all the people giving advice here lawyers or just regular people like me?
Click to expand...


read this its at bottom of every page

Legal Disclaimer: The content appearing on our website is for general information purposes only. When you submit a question or make a comment on our site or in our law forum, you clearly imply that you are interested in receiving answers, opinions and responses from other people. The people providing legal help and who respond are volunteers who may not be lawyers, legal professionals or have any legal training or experience. The law is also subject to change from time to time and legal statutes and regulations vary between states. It is possible that the law may not apply to you and may have changed from the time a post was made. All information available on our site is available on an "AS-IS" basis. It is not a substitute for professional legal assistance. Before making any decision or accepting any legal advice, you should have a proper legal consultation with a licensed attorney with whom you have an attorney-client privilege. For purposes of New York and New Jersey State ethics rules, please take notice that this website and its case reviews may constitute attorney advertising.

No Lawyer are not likely responding and even if they do do they practice this kin dof law and do they have a license in your jurisdiction? If you want actual legal advice stay off internet forums and make an appointment with an Attorney
 
camsa167 said:
I am sorry are all the people giving advice here lawyers or just regular people like me?
Click to expand...

I'm a lawyer.
I'm not licensed to practice in CA, but CA law is the same as the other 49 states on this matter.
If a parent knows, or has reason to believe her/his child was the victim of sexual abuse, a duty to report the matter exists.
However, forget the law, this is common sense.
Why on earth would any parent want a legal cite before taking a child with a fever of 105 to an emergency room?
Why would a parent need a legal cite to report her/his child missing?
.
.
I'll provide you one, madam.
A parent is what the law would term, a "de facto", mandated reporter of any alleged child abuse suffered by his or her child.

Why in the name of everything holy, would any parent be reluctant to report the child's outcry?

In my experience, there is one reason.
That one reason, and one reason only, because its a lie.
I can't say for sure, but common sense says that a parent wouldn't need to be required under a specific state law to report ANY harm or abuse to his, or her child.
A parent would do anything to protect a child, based upon biology alone!
Why would a parent have any confusion if the parent observed the child with a .40 cal, loaded, Glock?

If your child has made an outcry about "daddy" sexually abusing him, why would you require a legal citation?

No need to answer, here is your legal citation:
.
.
.
Child Abuse and/or Child Neglect Can Be Any of the Following:

A physical injury inflicted on a child by another person other than by accidental means.
The sexual abuse, assault, or exploitation of a child.
The negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child by a person responsible for the child's welfare under circumstances indicating harm or threatened harm to the child's health or welfare. This is whether the harm or threatened harm is from acts or omissions on the part of the responsible person.
The willful harming or endangerment of the person or health of a child, any cruel or inhumane corporal punishment or any injury resulting in a traumatic condition.

.
.
One does not have to be physically present or witness the abuse to identify suspected cases of abuse, or even have definite proof that a child may be subject to child abuse or neglect. Rather, the law requires that a person have a "reasonable suspicion" that a child has been the subject of child abuse or neglect. Under the law, this means that it is reasonable for a person to entertain a suspicion of child abuse or neglect, based upon facts that could cause a reasonable person, in a like position, drawing, when appropriate, on his or her training and experience, to suspect child abuse or neglect.

Red flags for abuse and neglect are often identified by observing a child's behavior at school, recognizing physical signs, and observations of dynamics during routine interactions with certain adults. While the following signs are not proof that a child is the subject of abuse or neglect, they should prompt one to look further.

.
.

To make a report, an employee must contact an appropriate local law enforcement or county child welfare agency, listed below. This legal obligation is not satisfied by making a report of the incident to a supervisor or to the school. An appropriate law enforcement agency may be one of the following:

A Police or Sheriff's Department (not including a school district police department or school security department).
A County Probation Department, if designated by the county to receive child abuse reports.
A County Welfare Department/County Child Protective Services.

The report should be made immediately over the telephone and should be followed up in writing. The law enforcement agency has special forms for this purpose that they will ask you to complete. If a report cannot be made immediately over the telephone, then an initial report may be made via e-mail or fax. A report may also be filed at the same time with your school district or county office of education (COE). School districts and COEs, however, do not investigate child abuse allegations, nor do they attempt to contact the person suspected of child abuse or neglect.

School districts and COEs may have additional policies adopted at the local level relating to the duties of mandated reporters. School staff should consult with their district to determine if there are additional steps that must be taken.

These policies do not take the place of reporting to an appropriate local law enforcement or county child welfare agency.
.
.
.
Child Abuse Identification & Reporting Guidelines - Child Abuse Prevention (CA Dept of Education)
.
.
.
CA Codes (pen:11164-11174.3)
.
.
.
http://www.losrios.edu/hr/HR Forms/MandatedReporterGuidebook.pdf
.
.
.
 
army judge said:
I'm a lawyer.
I'm not licensed to practice in CA, but CA law is the same as the other 49 states on this matter.
If a parent knows, or has reason to believe her/his child was the victim of sexual abuse, a duty to report the matter exists.
However, forget the law, this is common sense.
Why on earth would any parent want a legal cite before taking a child with a fever of 105 to an emergency room?
Why would a parent need a legal cite to report her/his child missing?
.
.
I'll provide you one, madam.
A parent is what the law would term, a "de facto", mandated reporter of any alleged child abuse suffered by his or her child.

Why in the name of everything holy, would any parent be reluctant to report the child's outcry?

In my experience, there is one reason.
That one reason, and one reason only, because its a lie.
I can't say for sure, but common sense says that a parent wouldn't need to be required under a specific state law to report ANY harm or abuse to his, or her child.
A parent would do anything to protect a child, based upon biology alone!
Why would a parent have any confusion if the parent observed the child with a .40 cal, loaded, Glock?

If your child has made an outcry about "daddy" sexually abusing him, why would you require a legal citation?

No need to answer, here is your legal citation:
.
.
.
Child Abuse and/or Child Neglect Can Be Any of the Following:

A physical injury inflicted on a child by another person other than by accidental means.
The sexual abuse, assault, or exploitation of a child.
The negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child by a person responsible for the child's welfare under circumstances indicating harm or threatened harm to the child's health or welfare. This is whether the harm or threatened harm is from acts or omissions on the part of the responsible person.
The willful harming or endangerment of the person or health of a child, any cruel or inhumane corporal punishment or any injury resulting in a traumatic condition.

.
.
One does not have to be physically present or witness the abuse to identify suspected cases of abuse, or even have definite proof that a child may be subject to child abuse or neglect. Rather, the law requires that a person have a "reasonable suspicion" that a child has been the subject of child abuse or neglect. Under the law, this means that it is reasonable for a person to entertain a suspicion of child abuse or neglect, based upon facts that could cause a reasonable person, in a like position, drawing, when appropriate, on his or her training and experience, to suspect child abuse or neglect.

Red flags for abuse and neglect are often identified by observing a child's behavior at school, recognizing physical signs, and observations of dynamics during routine interactions with certain adults. While the following signs are not proof that a child is the subject of abuse or neglect, they should prompt one to look further.

.
.

To make a report, an employee must contact an appropriate local law enforcement or county child welfare agency, listed below. This legal obligation is not satisfied by making a report of the incident to a supervisor or to the school. An appropriate law enforcement agency may be one of the following:

A Police or Sheriff's Department (not including a school district police department or school security department).
A County Probation Department, if designated by the county to receive child abuse reports.
A County Welfare Department/County Child Protective Services.

The report should be made immediately over the telephone and should be followed up in writing. The law enforcement agency has special forms for this purpose that they will ask you to complete. If a report cannot be made immediately over the telephone, then an initial report may be made via e-mail or fax. A report may also be filed at the same time with your school district or county office of education (COE). School districts and COEs, however, do not investigate child abuse allegations, nor do they attempt to contact the person suspected of child abuse or neglect.

School districts and COEs may have additional policies adopted at the local level relating to the duties of mandated reporters. School staff should consult with their district to determine if there are additional steps that must be taken.

These policies do not take the place of reporting to an appropriate local law enforcement or county child welfare agency.
.
.
.
Child Abuse Identification & Reporting Guidelines - Child Abuse Prevention (CA Dept of Education)
.
.
.
CA Codes (pen:11164-11174.3)
.
.
.
http://www.losrios.edu/hr/HR Forms/MandatedReporterGuidebook.pdf
.
.
.
Click to expand...
I do not think my son is lying even though in the beginning I did think he was because he is a kid and usually lies a lot but I knew as a parent he was not lying about this. The problem of the matter is my son told me about this in May of this year and now we are in November so either, way I will get in trouble right? I spoke to my Mom and asked her for advice in this matter and told me she did not think my exhusband did it and why was I going to put son through the stress of going to court. So, I had left it alone, but I love my son and my mother instinct tells me to report it.
 
camsa167 said:
I do not think my son is lying even though in the beginning I did think he was because he is a kid and usually lies a lot but I knew as a parent he was not lying about this. The problem of the matter is my son told me about this in May of this year and now we are in November so either, way I will get in trouble right? I spoke to my Mom and asked her for advice in this matter and told me she did not think my exhusband did it and why was I going to put son through the stress of going to court. So, I had left it alone, but I love my son and my mother instinct tells me to report it.
Click to expand...

No you won't get in trouble for not reporting it right away BUT it's going to be a lot harder to investigate eight months later. Physical evidence is gone. Now it will be he said/he said.

It doesn't matter what your mom thinks. Your mother instinct is what you should have listened to. But that's done.

You can still report it. It will be difficult. Much more now after so long. But if you don't report it and then you try to take him to court and bring it up - it's going to end badly for you in front of the judge.
 
camsa167 said:
I do not think my son is lying even though in the beginning I did think he was because he is a kid and usually lies a lot but I knew as a parent he was not lying about this. The problem of the matter is my son told me about this in May of this year and now we are in November so either, way I will get in trouble right? I spoke to my Mom and asked her for advice in this matter and told me she did not think my exhusband did it and why was I going to put son through the stress of going to court. So, I had left it alone, but I love my son and my mother instinct tells me to report it.
Click to expand...

If you seek help for your son, no harm will come to you.
Immense help will be available for your son, if he has been molested.

Take your son to your family physician.
Ask to have him examined because he told you he was sexually abused.
If the exam proves nothing, no harm, no foul.
If the exam proves he was violated sexually, the perpetrator can get what he has coming to him.
Your son can receive help, too.
 
army judge said:
If you seek help for your son, no harm will come to you.
Immense help will be available for your son, if he has been molested.

Take your son to your family physician.
Ask to have him examined because he told you he was sexually abused.
If the exam proves nothing, no harm, no foul.
If the exam proves he was violated sexually, the perpetrator can get what he has coming to him.
Your son can receive help, too.
Click to expand...
Will the Dr. Know if he has been abused even if it has been a while?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top