Concerns about a Judge on my case

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luvbug32

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I have been divorced since Jan. 2002 with a now 4 year old son that my ex and I adopted. My son has had several issues stemming from his birth including speech problems, developmental problems and now behavioral problems. I have been working with a Behavioral Therapist since April. My ex moved out of state less than a month after our divorce was final and had no contact with our son from March 2002 until May 2003. This is a really difficult case and I am not sure how much to get into.

Since visititation has started with my ex and his new wife, my son's behavior has dramatically changed. He does not listen to authority, including myself, or his teachers at school. He is using foul language and hitting, spitting on, kicking and scratching people around him when he gets mad. He has told me that my ex and his new wife hit each other.

My problem is this. The Judge that we have has sided with my ex, and has allowed him to have continous visitation even after the Behavioral Specialist testified that it would hurt my son if he were subjected to the new wife and her behavior. That was in July and the behavior has only gotten worse. Because I was married to him for almost 12 years, I know that my ex's goal is to gain full custody of our son, get on disability (which he is currently trying to do), get money from the state for our son and have me pay child support and be allowed supervised visitation.

The Specialists suggested a shortened visitation schedule and the Judge was "not inclined to do that unless it was at least twice a month" and he was not inclined to do that "unless the former wife shares in the travel responsibilities". It ends this month, but the Judge ordered me to travel to Georgia to take my son to see his dad on a Wednesday and to return the following Sunday to pick him up. I work during the week and at the time, my ex had Wednesdays and Sunday's off. The Judge did not ask what my schedule was. (I have the court transcript to show this). My ex filed Contempt Charges last month because I showed up 2 1/2 hours late one Wed night. I had to borrow the money to go (CS had not been paid for 2 months). The Judge found me in contempt and told me to "leave earlier" even though I leave after work and my job is in jepordy.

There is so much more I could say, but I will spare you all. Please can someone help me. Because of what my ex has been allowed to say in court, the Judge thinks I am being uncooperative, even though all the facts point to my ex being that way. I cannot afford an Attorney at this time and I have checked into Legal Aid - I do not qualify. I really could use someone to offer advice on an as needed basis and represent myself the rest of the way.

Thank you in advance.
 
To begin with, it is unusual that a person representing themselves due to a lack of funds would be treated harshly. Did you call your ex about being late that night? It seems very harsh and there are usually other factors -- but I wouldn't put it past the court as I have seen some incredible things happen in several states. I have found, on occasion, some rather disgraceful actions but hope that they are truly the exception to the rule and so far that seems to be the case. But we'll keep an open mind.

Questions:

Is your ex represented by an attorney?

Additionally, why do you think the judge would side with your ex and be impartial -- what would the bias be from, in your opinion?

Who hired the Specialist?

I wish we could be of more assistance but these cases are very intense and usually extremely complicated. Assistance here requires the details. What we first need to find out is why a judge would be impartial and whether it's that or just taking a strong stance with regard to you and why that would be the case.

Originally posted by luvbug32
I have been divorced since Jan. 2002 with a now 4 year old son that my ex and I adopted. My son has had several issues stemming from his birth including speech problems, developmental problems and now behavioral problems. I have been working with a Behavioral Therapist since April. My ex moved out of state less than a month after our divorce was final and had no contact with our son from March 2002 until May 2003. This is a really difficult case and I am not sure how much to get into.

Since visititation has started with my ex and his new wife, my son's behavior has dramatically changed. He does not listen to authority, including myself, or his teachers at school. He is using foul language and hitting, spitting on, kicking and scratching people around him when he gets mad. He has told me that my ex and his new wife hit each other.

My problem is this. The Judge that we have has sided with my ex, and has allowed him to have continous visitation even after the Behavioral Specialist testified that it would hurt my son if he were subjected to the new wife and her behavior. That was in July and the behavior has only gotten worse. Because I was married to him for almost 12 years, I know that my ex's goal is to gain full custody of our son, get on disability (which he is currently trying to do), get money from the state for our son and have me pay child support and be allowed supervised visitation.

The Specialists suggested a shortened visitation schedule and the Judge was "not inclined to do that unless it was at least twice a month" and he was not inclined to do that "unless the former wife shares in the travel responsibilities". It ends this month, but the Judge ordered me to travel to Georgia to take my son to see his dad on a Wednesday and to return the following Sunday to pick him up. I work during the week and at the time, my ex had Wednesdays and Sunday's off. The Judge did not ask what my schedule was. (I have the court transcript to show this). My ex filed Contempt Charges last month because I showed up 2 1/2 hours late one Wed night. I had to borrow the money to go (CS had not been paid for 2 months). The Judge found me in contempt and told me to "leave earlier" even though I leave after work and my job is in jepordy.

There is so much more I could say, but I will spare you all. Please can someone help me. Because of what my ex has been allowed to say in court, the Judge thinks I am being uncooperative, even though all the facts point to my ex being that way. I cannot afford an Attorney at this time and I have checked into Legal Aid - I do not qualify. I really could use someone to offer advice on an as needed basis and represent myself the rest of the way.

Thank you in advance.
 
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